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Hi. I’m Joe. I’m a writer. I have to admit that the phrase “I’m a writer,” makes me a bit uncomfortable because it sounds way too grandiose for what I actually do. It sounds like something that Ernest Hemingway or Philip Roth or Jane Austen should say. I grew up in a family where even the slightest bit of pretentiousness was greeted with a heaping helping of ridicule and jeers.
“I’m a writer,” I might say.
“Oh, ARE YOU now?” would come next from the dinner table. “A WRITER, huh? Look at Mr. Big Shot writer.”
So, no, I don’t feel super comfortable with the “I’m a writer,” line, but I don’t really know what else to say considering that I spend pretty much all my time writing things. I write about sports a lot — you can read my sports stuff at The Athletic.
And here I write about … well, some sports, particularly tennis.
But mostly I write about whatever happens to come to mind. Family. Movies. Books. Food. Technology. Informercials. I don’t know what else. It depends on the week.
What else can I tell you about myself? My wife Margo and I have two teenaged daughters and a soon-to-be eight-year-old standard poodle. I’ve written five books, six if you count my collection of columns (which I don’t), and have been lucky enough to be on top of the New York Times bestseller’s list. I do a podcast with my buddy Michael Schur, who does some stuff in television. I can do a few card tricks well enough to fool people if they aren’t paying too close attention. Oh, I’ve also won two Emmys, though I don’t know why. They are on our mantle. They impress the girls’ friends — sometimes, they like to pose with them and take selfies.
I used to be able to recite all the Academy Award-winning movies in order. I stopped caring about the awards a while ago, but much of that is still stuck in my brain and I can tell you right off the top of my head that the 1956 winner was “Around the World in 80 Days,” and in 1964 it was “My Fair Lady” and in 1978 it was “The Deer Hunter.”
I shudder to think of what vital information this has crowded out of my brain.