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Baseball Oscars

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Vote for the Baseball Oscars — the Oscar Azocars!

Here is a little inside baseball on how a goofy idea comes into the world.

Step 1. The Academy Awards approach. When it’s Oscar Time, people always look for ways to connect. People compare politicians to movies, compare foods to movies, compare old movies to new movies, etc.

Step 2: Someone notices that “Best Pitcher” sounds just like “Best Picture.”

Step 3: Everybody kind of laughs about this irrelevant but funny coincidence.

Step 4: Then someone says, “You know, we should do our own Baseball Oscars with ‘Best Pticher,” being our final category.

Step 5: Everybody kind of laughs at this ridiculous idea, until they realize that the person is serious. “Yeah,” that someone says, “‘Best Actor in a Leading Role’ could be ‘Best Every Day Player.'”

Step 6: Then someone, hoping to humor the crazy person, said: “Sure, Best Director could be best manager.”

Step 7: And the first someone says, “Absolutely! Hey, Best Cinematography could best stadium?

Step 8: And someone points out, rightly, “Uh, cinematography has nothing to do with stadiums.”

Step 9: First someone doesn’t listen and is now thinking that Best Animated Feature could be best mascot.

Step 10: Then several someones says, “Wait, we’re really doing this?”

Srep 11: But it’s too late, and in an effort to find an Oscar category for best general manager — well, production design sort of relates to general manager.

Step 12: No it doesn’t.

Step 13: Well, sort of, I mean, general managers design teams.

Step 14: Various people now shake their heads and go back to do real work.

Step 15: Couldn’t “Best Visual Effects” relate to best in-game entertainment, like the Brewers Sausage Race and the Seventh Inning Stretch at Wrigley?

Step 16: No.

Step 17: Yes!  And best Costume Design is obviously best uniforms, right?

Step 18: Nobody is listening.

And this is how the Oscar Azocars, named for the delightful free-swinger Oscar Azocar, came to being. You can vote for all 10 categories here. Groans are optional.

Oh, I forgot two steps:

Step 19: I ask Michael Schur to do a PosCast where we go over all the Oscar Azocar nominations and predict the winners.

Step 20: He unwisely says yes. Now available on iTunes, Stitcher and right here:

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24 Responses to Baseball Oscars

  1. Brian says:

    I hate the idea. In fact, I hate that you convinced me to actually vote for these ridiculous awards. I hate that I had so much fun actually voting. I hate that I can’t wait to see the results of the voting. But most of all, I hate that I am now going to have to enjoy listening to your Poscast about this stupid, stupid idea.

  2. Kendell Kroeker says:

    If you are going to name it after an Oscar, it should have been Oscar Gamble.

  3. MCD says:

    Going into the poll, I totally misunderstood what was going on here. I thought the categories were going to be along the lines of

    Best Hitter nominees: Oscar “Happy” Felsh, Oscar Gamble, Oscar Taveras
    Best Pitcher nominees: uh, Oscar Zamora, and uh, umm

    • kehnn13 says:

      That was my first though too, before I read the article. I think there would have been a double winner too- Oscar Charleston for Best Director/Best Actor in a Leading role…

  4. Crazy Diamond says:

    How is Nolan Arenado not in the group of Best Player? He’s certainly better than Josh Donaldson (who somehow made the cut). C’mon Joe, show some love for Nolan!

    • Nickolai says:

      Arenado is awesome, and probably will soon be better than Donaldson – even this coming year possibly. But Donaldson has clearly been the better player so far, and among the best in MLB.

      • Crazy Diamond says:

        I like Josh Donaldson and I think he’s an awesome player. Both are terrific on offense but I think Nolan is one of the top 3 defensive players (regardless of position) in the game. And that should give him an edge over Josh.

        • Nickolai says:

          Donaldson ain’t no slouch with the leather either. And while Nolan is amazing, Josh has been significantly better with the bat. Don’t let Coors fool you. The last two years, Nolan has OPS+ of 124 and 129. Josh is at 151 and 152.

          Again, I wouldn’t be surprised if Arenado passes Donaldson this year, but it hasn’t happened yet.

  5. Alejo says:

    Very nice of you to remember the late Oscar Azocar.

    He was a winter ball-lifer with a nasty character, very competitive. Twenty seasons of winter ball, only three in the majors.

    May he rest in peace.

  6. George says:

    The Mets song has to be “Meet the Mets,” not “Lazy Mary.”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upMzA_3dmrI

  7. jalabar says:

    So I voted for Kershaw with a caveat. Joe mentioned that is isn’t about 2016, which presumes that it isn’t about before 2016. If I had to pick one pitcher to pitch one game, I’d take Kershaw. BUT, if I have a guarantee that I will get that pitcher’s very best, I’ll take Scherzer every day. At his very best, Scherzer is as close to unhittable as anyone has ever been. Clayton does it consistently at a higher level than Max. Which is why he is my choice as best pitcher and the guy I’d choose to pitch one game. But Kershaw at his best is not as good as Scherzer at his. Very, very few if any have been as good as Max at his best. No hitters, flirting regularly with perfect games, one hitters, 20K games… You have a better chance of seeing a gem with Kershaw… you have a better chance of seeing something historic with Scherzer.

  8. Charlie B says:

    Not quite agreeing with Dodger Stadium as a nominee over Safeco and Citi…

    Also, I never noticed how blah MLB uniforms are for the most part.

    • invitro says:

      The best uniforms in all of sports: the Dodgers, Cardinals, Braves, Yankees, A’s, Cubs, Pittsburgh Steelers, and Chicago Bulls. A lot of the baseball uniforms are dull or ugly (Arizona), but that’s true of all sports.

      • Charlie B says:

        Most of those you mention are just blah.

        Maybe it comes from watching too much soccer.

        • Charlie B says:

          Forgot to add – or starting to watch baseball in the 70s/80s with such classics as the Padres and Astros uniforms of that era.

          • invitro says:

            Most baseball fans consider the ones I mentioned to be beautiful, and those Padres & Astros uniforms to be horrors. I happen to like those Padres & Astros unis, in fact the Astros became my very first favorite sports team when my dad took me to a rookie league game between the rookie Mets & rookie Astros when I was about 5 or 6, and I thought the lovely rainbow Astros were just divine, an opinion I haven’t swayed (much) from. There were many other lovely unis in that style from that era. They’re all gone now, sadly, although the current Astros fairly often wear somewhat toned-down versions, which is a big factor in their being my current favorite team. (Needless to say, I heartily endorse the practice of choosing a favorite team based on its uniforms!)

      • Chris K says:

        I completely agree with all of your picks. I would only add that the powder blue, *cough*, L.A. Charger jerseys are pretty sweet, too.

        For hockey, the Bruins, Blackhawks and Canadians jerseys are also awesome.

    • Rob says:

      The Olde English “D” of the Tigers is classic.

  9. oilcan23 says:

    I’ve been a die-hard hard Red Sox fan since 1982, a time that they didn’t even play pop music at Fenway except on the organ. And I am here to say Sweet Caroline is an abomination.

  10. Crazy Diamond says:

    Best Stadium omissions: Coors Field and Camden Yards (or whatever the ballpark in Baltimore is called). I loved the inclusion of Pittsburgh, though!

  11. MikeN says:

    What do you mean it’s not about 2016? That’s how Oscars work! Or is he saying that someone who delivers a little at the end of 2016 is good enough?

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