Something disturbing happened last year when I did my annual “Pick the NCAA tournament in 64 seconds” thing. I actually got some picks right. I picked North Carolina to beat Michigan State in the final, and that’s what happened. This led numerous people to make the remarkably absurd assumption that I actually know something about college basketball or making picks. I will simply say that this year’s picks should clear up that misunderstanding.
In this week’s Sports Illustrated, I wrote a little something about the Kansas Jayhawks and the challenge of being the tournament favorite. Along the way, I spent quite a bit of time with Bill Self. He’s one of my favorite people in sports. I actually think that Self is about as good a coach as anyone in America, any sport. I dropped this opinion at a dinner the other day. It’s fair to say that not everyone at the table agreed.
But to me, when you look at the whole coaching package — coaching, recruiting, building a program, selling the program, dealing with the media, building an atmosphere — Self is as good as anyone. The thing about coaches and managers (with Gardy being Exhibit A) is that you can always argue that it really isn’t about them. It’s about the players who actually do. A coach with great players should win. A coach with lousy players should lose. There will always be some serious questions about the worth of any coach because it’s hard to define what the coach actually does … and whether or not the team would have won or lost anyway.
In any case, I think Bill Self is terrific. And I find him fascinating. And so, I wrote the following insanely long piece about him.
Now, I’ll be the first one to admit that I have many, many, many times remembered something that wasn’t quite right. For instance, I distinctly remember seeing this famous 1984 Apple commercial several times on television.
One of the great things about being a sportswriter is that every so often you get to live out the Super Bowl scene in the movie “Big.” Remember that scene? Tom Hanks had become a big-wig at the toy company, and his friend Billy was in his office, and Hanks goes: “Miss Patterson, could you call down to Media and have them send up a video tape of the Giants-Broncos Super Bowl? And have them edit out all the commercials and talking and stuff?”
And Billy goes: “You’re the luckiest guy I know.”
Well, now and then, that happens in a sportswriter’s life. I did a story for SI this week on Bob Costas and Al Michaels. And to research the story, I asked if they could send me a DVD of the 1980 Olympic Hockey game between the U.S. and Soviet Union game — the “Do you believe in miracles” game. And they did. Of course, I have seen bits and pieces of that game many times since 1980 — we all have — but I have not seen the actual game, beginning to end (with extra commentary from Jim McKay) since I was 13 years old.
You know what I miss? I miss those days when being a sports fan did not also require a deep and textured understanding of body language. I miss the time when you could follow the games people play without having a hyper-sensitive scent for sincerity. I miss the time when being a judgmental sports fan meant only that you made moral judgments about a manager’s decision to bunt or not bunt in the third inning or a golfer’s choice to go for the green in two from a balky lie.
People often come up to me and say: “You don’t really have a Cleveland Browns bowling ball.” Well, I guess it depends on how you define “often.” It has happened at least twice.
We’ll start getting some of those blog posts up tonight after I get back from bowling. Right. I’m bowling for the first time in at least 10 years. I’ll be at the Lucky Strike Bowling Center in downtown KC tonight bowling to help my good and sabermetrically-challenged friend Ryan Lefebvre raise money for his awesome Gloves for Kids program. I’ve got to break 150 or in one of the two games or they won’t let me back in my old Cleveland neighborhood*. Plus there will be Royals alumni there like Frank White so … I’ve got to break 150. I hope that old Cleveland Browns bowling ball has a little magic in it.
*Though I should point out there that my old Cleveland neighborhood no longer has bowling lanes. But there’s a Whole Foods there. Sigh.
In any case, you will notice the polls — athletes who make you laugh, and athletes who don’t. That’s just a first phase. So if you have some other suggestions for the funniest athletes of all-time, you can certainly drop them in the comments below.
More Stupid Stuff I Think About Before Super Bowl XLIV
The general feeling here seems to be that this could be a great Super Bowl. In fact, I cannot remember a Super Bowl game where people — media people, fans, everyone — seemed so HOPEFUL before a game.
This, of course, is just my feeling — but as I remember it, nobody seemed too jazzed before last year’s Steelers-Cardinals game, though it turned out to be a great game. Most seemed to believe the Patriots would annihilate the Giants the year before, and that the Colts were quite a lot better than the Bears the year before that. I think you have to go back to the Broncos-Packers game in 1998 to find a game that people honestly seemed to think, coming in, had a chance to be a classic. And people seem even more excited about this game.
I suppose this is because the feeling coming in is that neither team will be able to stop the other. The mind imagines something like that classic Dolphins-Chargers playoff game, the one where neither team had any chance of stopping the other, the one where San Diego tight end Kellen Winslow died four times during the game and still came back to make winning plays at the end.
Of course, it might not work out that way. The Saints might just be happy to be here. The Colts might suffer with a wounded Dwight Freeney. Turnovers could turn the game into an early rout. Who knows? But as Super Bowl XLIV begins, there are big hopes for something that everyone will remember.
My iPhone buzzes every 28 seconds. This is not popularity. Obviously. This is the NFL emailing me another Super Bowl quote sheet. And another. And another. Remi Ayodele! Raheem Brock! Jeff Saturday! Queen Latifah!
As this thing begins and winds around and rambles … you will wonder how we’re going to get to Halls of Fame. But we will get there eventually. Believe me, I’m not recommending you take the journey.
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