What I Would Say
Posted: February 18th, 2010 | Filed under: Essays | 96 Comments »
I would rather not tell anyone, except my daughters, what they should say. I tell my daughters all the time, of course. Say please. Say thank you. Tell Grandma you love her. Tell your friend you’re sorry. And so on. Parents are nags.
I would rather not tell people I don’t know what they should say. Trouble is, being a sportswriter, I find myself doing that quite often. You should have said this. You should not have said that. When you said this, well, it sounded stupid. You should have instead said that. It’s a hazard of the job, I suppose. And it’s a flaw of mine. I do tend to be a nag.
That said, the following is NOT intended to tell Tiger Woods what he should say when he finally speaks tomorrow. He and his multi-million dollar team will figure that one out. I’m only playing the “If I was Tiger Woods” game. It’s a fun game to play when you can then go back to your own life.
* * *
Hi. My name is Tiger Woods. I’m a golfer. I know that sounds silly. You all know who I am and we all know why I’m here. But I want to start from the beginning. I’m a golfer. I have played golf since I was 2 years old. You probably saw the footage of me on the Mike Douglas Show. I was really good even then. It’s like I was born to play this sport.
My father thought so. He raised me on that belief. He and my mother raised me to believe that I was going to be the greatest golfer in the history of the world. I’m sure I would have believed it anyway. All of you know about the Jack Nicklaus poster I had on my wall … all of you have written about it a hundred times. Everybody knew my goal. I was going to beat Jack’s record of 18 major championships. I was going to play golf better than it had ever been played before. That’s the Tiger Woods I showed to the world.
Of course, that’s not who I am. That’s not the sum of me. Very early in my life, I realized that if I was going to become the greatest golfer ever, I had to separate that part of myself. I had to show a face to the world, a cold face, a competitor’s face. I think I did a pretty good job of that. In public, I was the guy who striped golf balls and made the toughest putts and wore red on Sundays. I answered questions without answering them. I grimaced whenever a putt didn’t break the way I wanted to, and slammed clubs when I hit a shot that wasn’t just right. I cashed a lot of checks. I gave everyone a blank canvas to project whatever they wanted to believe. That’s who I wanted the other golfers to see. That’s who I wanted you in the press to see. That’s who I wanted companies to see. That’s who I wanted fans to see. I wanted them to see nothing. Air.
Let me tell you: That wasn’t acting — that’s a big part of who I am. I have hit millions of golf balls in my life. I have stood alone most of my life, swinging a golf club, searching for the perfection that I believe is inside of me. I have tried to make it look easy.
There’s another side. People have now seen some of that other side. I don’t think I’m a bad person. I hope I’m not a bad person. But I have been wild. I have hurt people I love very much. I have cheated time and again. Much of what has been reported is not true, but some of it is true, and the irresponsible way I have lived my life has caused a lot of pain to people I did not want to hurt. My wife. My friends. My family. My children. I will only say this: There are opportunities that come with being Tiger Woods. I took advantage of those opportunities. I have taken pride in how I can stay in control on a golf course. But I lived an out-of-control life. I know much has been written about that night when I crashed the car, and almost all of it is wrong. But a larger point was not wrong. Sooner or later, the way I was living, my life was going to run off the rails. I did many things of which I’m truly ashamed. I am not here to make excuses and I’m not here to ask for forgiveness. I hope that the way I live my life will make it clear how sorry I am. I hope that I will make it up to the people who matter most in my life. I am trying to change. I hope I will change.
I am planning to return to golf now. I need to play golf. It is what I do. It is what I have always done. I have been famous for a long time, but it was always for playing golf. I won’t lie to you: It is hard to be infamous. I have spent the last few months trying to live in my cocoon, trying to reevaluate myself and my life, trying to make amends to those people I love, and all the while trying to ignore the media reports and the jokes and the rumors. I have not been able to do that too well. I know what people are saying. I know what people are writing. I can’t blame them, I guess. Everyone loves a good punch line. Most of the Tiger Woods jokes I’ve heard aren’t too funny — at least I don’t think so. But, when you are the punch line, I guess you don’t get to be the audience too.
I know from the many questions I have gotten through the years that one question you might ask is: How do I feel about it all? I feel exactly the way you would expect me to feel. I feel everything. I have been hurt. I have been angry at myself. I have been angry at the media. I have been sad. And, yes: There are times I have felt ganged up on, like so many people who built me up in the public’s eye have enjoyed tearing me and my family down. Most of the time, though, the whole thing has been so absurd and agonizing and hopeful and painful that I have simply had feelings I could not describe, some crazy mixture of everything.
I do need to play golf again. I need to get back on the golf course, back in tournaments, to feel that sort of pressure again. I love golf pressure. I love that feeling of needing to make a putt, needing to hit the perfect shot … and then making that putt or hitting that shot. I thrive on that pressure. I live on that high. On a golf course, I feel like I’m exactly where I should be. I have taken the last few months off golf, because there were more important things for me to do. There are still more important things for me to do. But I need that golf feeling again.
I’m not going to talk about my family and friends here. I have told them and will tell them what’s in my heart. That is for them to hear. But I do want to say a few words to my golf fans. I let you down. I let myself down. I could cop out and tell you that I’m just a golfer, and that I never asked to be a role model, and I never claimed to be anything close to perfect. But that isn’t quite right. I have always wanted to be a role model, to show a public face that could help people dream. And I still want that. I still believe golf is a beautiful game for kids to play, adults too. I believe golf teaches you lessons about fair play and getting the best out of yourself. I did not follow some of those lessons. You hear so many public apologies these days, and it seems to me that the reason many of them come off sounding rigged and insincere is because it’s easy to apologize. It’s so easy to say you’re sorry. It’s infinitely harder to be sorry — to feel such deep regret over what you did that you sincerely want to change who you are. More, it’s infinitely harder to change who you are. I hope to do that. I hope the process has already started. And I hope that, over time, people will see.
Fame has brought me a lot of things. I have a yacht. It’s nice to have a yacht. I have a lot of money and will always be able to take care of the people who count on me. I get letters, all the time, from people who tell me that the way I play golf inspires them. That’s an amazing thing. Fame also has spilled my failings out there for the world to be judge, jury and late-night comedian. Believe me, I am not asking anyone to feel sorry for me. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I do have a yacht, after all.
But I will continue to fight for my own privacy — now more than ever. I have been famous for so long that, at some point, it becomes easy to lose yourself in the lights. I have known all about the pitfalls of fame since I was a little kid — my father warned me about it again and again and again — and it still happened to me. I lost myself. Yes, I am a public figure. But I need to be a private one too.
I know, in the end, people will wonder what I’m trying to do here. Am I trying to resuscitate my image? Am I trying to soften the beach for my return to golf? Am I sincere when I say that I am trying to change? Is this just a cold and calculated apology determined to win people back? I know that everyone will believe what they want to believe. That last few months have taught me many things … one of those is that people will say what they will say and believe what they will believe.
All I can really tell you is this: Golf’s reigning rule is that you play the ball as it lies. This is where I am in my life. I am going forward from here. I hope to have a lot of great golf left to play, and a lot of great life left to live. I have heard from many people who say: My son or daughter idolizes you. What am I supposed to tell them? Well, I would rather not tell anyone what to say. But if it was me? I would tell them that Tiger Woods is a great golfer. And he has not always lived right. And he’s trying to be a better man. Thank you all for your time.
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/slow clap?
Wow.
“It’s so easy to say you’re sorry. It’s infinitely harder to be sorry — to feel such deep regret over what you did that you sincerely want to change who you are.”
/golf clap
Wow, I almost like Tiger again. He should take your ideas and run with it.
Skip Bayless just txt’d me…he’s not impressed with this apology. Neither is Rick Reilly. Neither are D-Cupp and Booger from DC’s KJN 1090.
And where was your flag lapel pin?
my only complain with this is that joe says: “Much of what has been reported is not true, but some of it is true”
no one knows that.
Circle Me Bill Clinton!
Unfortunately, I’m almost positive that very little of what Tiger is actually going to say will bear any resemblance to this.
I was bored after the 4th paragraph. Whatever Tiger says, he is now a creepy weirdo who pays for sex because he is socially awkward. He now reminds me more of Michael Jackson than a great golfer like Nicklaus or a great sports personality like Ali.
You can be my speechwriter ANYTIME. That was awesome and surely infinitely better than whatever Tiger Woods may say.
He ought to do that, but I agree with Tim H. The whole thing will be over in 10 minutes or probably much less. And the “new” Tiger will bear a very strong resemblance to the old one.
Way too much humor and personality to be Tiger’s words, way too much irony and understatement to be grasped by the public.
But, as you say, fun to write and then think, “I am not Tiger Woods. Thank God.”
I have enjoyed this Tiger Woods story. I expecially liked the sex clinic in Mississippi. How does that work for a African Asian American?? A sex clinic in Mississippi?? Son, you sleep with one more white girl and we’ll kill you?? Ok I’m cured?
Personally, I dont care what Tiger Woods says, but I do hope for once an athlete would stop trying to be a politician and tell the truth. He should start off like Chevy Chase in those old SNL skits…
I’m Tiger Woods and you’re not.
And I am gravely disappointed in myself. Not one of those backstabbing mistresses look anywhere near as good as my wife. I need to do better.
I apologize to my wife. I am sorry that she is as frigid and passionless as she looks. If I had a robust love life at home I wouldnt be trying to sleep with the girl from Perkins. Do you ever ask yourself what the heck is she doing with me? I ask myself all the time. Every day. If this golf thing didnt work out , you think she would be with me?? I dont either. She is a cold calculating gold digger who got exactly what she signed up for. All the money in the world doesnt change the temperature in my house.
I only married her for appearances. And that is what I vow to stop living for today — appearances. I dont want to stop sleeping with sexy party girls, and I am not going to.
I no longer need any endorsement money. Even after Elin houses me for half I still have more money than I can ever spend. So, I will be living my life as I want, not as you expect. I will be doing whatever I please within the parameters of the law. I will be enjoying myself thoroughly. I dont owe you any explanations. I dont owe you any conformist behavior. I owe you a great golf game. Anything beyond that is none of your business. See you on the green.
love the soften the beaches line.
I’ll let you golf again, Joe. And I’ll leave you alone. ‘Cause gosh darn it, I’m not perfect either. Come here big guy!
A buddy of mine (T.F. if he is reading) recommended Tiger grow an evil looking goatee and become a villian on the golfcourse…. You know, the kind that brings a different woman to every tournament, and continues to obsenities at people. Carries a 40 around in a paper bag, makes Daly seem under control.
Golf needs a bad boy, and it could be Tiger. But he’ll probably take the Posnanski route…
Also, got a good kick out of e’s speech.
Good Lord Joe why dont you get rich writing speeches for people
@16 If you are looking to Vince McMahon for inspiration, something has gone badly off the rails.
Open poll: which sports writer is the first to go to Fuzzy Zoeller for a reaction?
As usual with JoePoz, nailed it. Circle me Eldrick.
I was struck most by this: “My son or daughter idolizes you. What am I supposed to tell them? Well, I would rather not tell anyone what to say. But if it was me? I would tell them that Tiger Woods is a great golfer. And he has not always lived right. And he’s trying to be a better man.”
As someone who is dealing with many of the same painful issues as Woods, the entire episode has been interesting to watch. Tiger Woods was my favorite golfer before all this, and if Friday turns out to be even marginally like JoePoz’s prose, Woods will continue to be atop my list.
Golf is a joke. Who cares about this guy?
I love golf. And I love perfection. I love “Life Liberty and the Pursuit.” In my short time on this Earth, I have learned to “Drive Beautifully” and thru “High Performance, Delivered” some striking golf shots into the “Upper Deck” of sport. And really, I “Just Do It” because “It’s In The Game.” Bust recently, because of my need to “TAG” various women, but really just “Reach out and Touch Someone,” people have, in regard to my rambunctious ways asked, “Is it in You?” My time away has only seemed like minutes, but it has given me thru “10 Minutes in the Chair, A Lifetime of Sight.” The only thing I can do from here is return to the course and thru “Golf Digest” the hard lessons I have learned; and really, that’s “The Best A Man Can Get.”
Thank you.
PS – Fly NetJets!!
Great post Joe. After reading that, Tiger’s got a lot to live up to. I’m afraid we’ll be disappointed tomorrow.
@13…Tiger’s not an “African Asian American”. He’s a cablinasian.
Awesome blog post Joe. You just proved why you are the best sports writer in the country.
I think this is actually fairly close to what we’ll hear tomorrow.
Unlike a lot of PR pros who ripped Tiger for not “getting in front of the story” I think he’s handled this in exactly the right way, and that in two years he’ll be as popular as ever, if not more popular than ever before.
Count me as one who does not care what he says but that was very interesting to read.
Not a fan Joe. I don’t think I’ve written those words before. I wouldn’t buy any of that. Tiger is a fake that has been using us and his skills to make money and have lots of sex. I don’t think he ever grew up. This is just another of those apologies that just sounds insincere to me. He only wanted to be a role model to make money. If he wanted to be a role model, he’d, you know, intereact with the fans, sign autographs, and not swear and throw his clubs. He’s a competitive jerk, like Jordan, and yet people worship him. He’s someone that has great dedication and skill, but isn’t much of a human being, from what we can tell from afar. I didn’t buy this apology even for a second.
I agree with the sentiment of #5. It doesn’t matter what Tiger says or how he says it, he’s going to get skewered by the media for doing something that many, many other athletes do, and that he would have been able to keep private if his wife hadn’t attacked him with a darned golf club!
Hey, i was just trying to emulate some other great players, but i got busted. They didn’t. they know who they are, and they all have majors, every one. and all are still here. I have a better golf game, but today’s different for a lot of reasons, and i just got busted. sorry…… now, have fun with what i said. ‘Cause it’s true. so, i’ll just hitch up my pants and get on with it…play life my way…who do you think i am? huckleberry finn?
@13 e’s version of the speech: awesome. Yeah, I’m sure it was his wife’s fault because she’s blonde and nordic and obviously frigid, because that’s the only reason someone doesn’t just cheat, but goes way beyond cheat into what has already been referred to as a “creepy weirdo who pays for sex.”
It couldn’t possibly be, instead, that he has been raised since he was 2 to not only be the greatest golfer ever, as Joe notes, but that his father envisioned him and promoted him as the second coming, that Tiger would literally be as influential as Jesus (don’t ask me why Jesus would come back as a golfer, only Tiger’s father knows the answer to that). I’m thinking we aren’t going to hear anything like what Joe wrote, because I think that there is no way that Tiger could overcome his lifetime of programming (that he is special, that he is the best and can do know wrong, in anything) in a scant three months to understand that he has engaged in any behavior that he is not entitled to engage in. He probably is still trying to figure out why his (already wealthy, educated, had own career, so nope, didn’t need him or his cash) wife is even upset. But he has to do something to resurrect his endorsements and his stature, because he needs it, he needs to still be the best thing ever, he needs to have all of that recognition.
I only want to know why he got married? Was it because he thought that he should have a smoking hot former model Swede as his wife? Or did he think it would help him with his image and therefore his endorsements? Or even worse, did his agent suggest it to make more money?
Tiger is who he is and I could care less whether he does the crocodile tears apology or not. It would be nice if he was honest though.
Anyone in the media who cites “the children” needs to get hit with a rotting fish. A big one, like a 40 pound salmon that’s been sitting in the sun for a week. He’s a golfer. If anyone thinks a golfer can help raise their child they shouldn’t have children.
In a twisted way hope Woods gets a divorce, moves to Vegas, dresses in black, grows a goatee and embraces hedonism. And tells all the media scolds to go…
We all know far too much about the guy. Wish he wouldn’t say anything rather than the pap we’ll get instead. He’s merely a cautionary tale that big time athletes have no business getting married until they are mature, or retired.
@Dr. Smooth:
This is TF, and I’ve been saying that stuff about Tiger, but I’m very confused. Who are you? Email me?
I agree with #31 — if that is who Tiger is, he should do that. We should all just be who we are, instead of trying so hard to be something else….
I think this apology is great, and if it was delivered by Joe Posnanski for some infraction we currently don’t know about I would believe every word of it and root for him to succeed.
But if Tiger Woods delivers something like this tomorrow, I simply won’t believe him. It would strike me as entirely unlike him, and I would need a few years of him backing it up in real life before I could believe he meant it.
Started to read it. Sounds nice, but he probably won’t say it. Tiger seems to be almost the opposite of the type of person who would say something like this. Either way, I don’t really care. I only started reading it because Joe wrote it. I trust Joe, his honesty, and character and I enjoy his thoughtful introspective semi-Seinfeldian rant-blogging so I gave it a chance, but really I just don’t care about Tiger. His greatness on the golf course catches my eye, but as person he’s just some terd. He’s a golfer who had sex with a multitude of skanks outside of his marriage. I feel for his family, but this thing happens often. Not to a historically great automaton golfer, but it happens. Now it happened to terd. I’m sure he’ll act like a terd at the press conference.
Forget about speeches. A role as a villain in Paul Blart: Mall Cop II would smooth things over with public.
I don’t feel sorry for myself. I do have a yacht, after all.
I wish I had a yacht
#28, THAT’S FUNNY. I read between the lines and see the THREE you’re talking about, if anyone paused long enuff to think. The clues are there. and yep, it’s true, and the press knew about those too. but back then, we didn’t have cell phones, youtube, internet, etc., etc , or a lot of careers would have crashed and burned.
Well Joe, if you are not careful celebrities in trouble will be hiring you to write their apologies. Excellent. Unfortunately, Tiger could never pull off delivering what you wrote properly.
Personally, Tiger does not owe me an apology for being so self-centered, so thoughtless, so uncaring off the course. He owes his wife and children and mother the apology. He owes me golf. I hope to see him on the course in April.
@28 & 38 I’ve heard the rumors about Huck Finn. Makes me wonder why he’s so critical of Tiger now.
Funny that these golfers would never even think of cheating on the golf course, but have no issues with doing it off the course. I’m not sure what that says about their value system, but it appears they think a game is more sacred/important than their family.
@32 TF.
TF is a friend of mine from college with the initials TF, and I just e-mailed him(and for those listening, he is not you). I don’t have your e-mail address though (or i’m not smart enough to figure it out on the website).
I’d rather not post my information on here, but I work/live in KC MO and am from a small (but awesome) KS town. Sorry, if I/TF stole your idea… its a great one. Tiger should wake up, and start giving the one finger salute to everyone.
I don’t know what he should say, but I think there is too much of playing the victim in this pretend statement. Own it, don’t even give a hint of playing the victim or shifting blame. Then go play golf.
The only people who should give two craps about whether Tiger cheated on his wife are Tiger, his wife, his kids.
Why do sports fans have an opinion on something like this? It’s not sports, it’s US Weekly. Sports fans don’t care if Brad Pitt broke up with Angelina Jolie or if John and Kate are divorced or if Lindsay Lohan does coke. Why in the world would we care who Tiger sleeps with?
I’m embarrassed for anyone who has an opinion on this issue.
I’m more interested in the Joe part than the fake Tiger part.
If you know it’s a flaw of yours (and truthfully, pretty much every member of the media since that’s apparently in the job description), perhaps you might re-evaluate what it is that you have chosen to do with your life, or at least the method by which you go about it?
I’m not a fan of telling people what they should or should not do/say either. I’m with you 100% on that.
But I am a fan of telling people, including you Joe, that the one thing they should not do/say is tell other people what they should or should not do/say.
This is not a painful and searching evaluation of his behavior. This does not show he has made amends to anyone. Nor will Woods ever do so. It is not in him. We must all move on.
How about adding in, “My father raised me this way. He said on TV, I don’t think marriage is all that important.”
That’s great! Thanks for the good laugh!
“My father raised me this way. He said on TV, I don’t think marriage is all that important.” – That’s just wrong!
Tiger seems like a complete asshole. I wish he would disappear into the sunset. There’s no reason to believe anything he says.
You know, I don’t think it quite matters to the general public what his apology says or does not say. As sports fans, we don’t care, like #43 said. Unfortunately there are a mile’s worth of column inches in newspapers, magazines, and websites that will be written by the servant of moral superiority and righteous indignation, the bold and noble sportswriter. Much like McGwire’s steroid apology, this will be hashed and rehashed; Tiger will be lectured and admonished, and finally something else will happen and it will all go away. Let’s just hope his message is close to Joe’s theoretical, as it will hasten the demise of this “story.”
As a golfer, Woods is a plus ten, meaning, among other things, that Joe would have as much of a chance at beating him at any age between seven and seventy as winning a major lottery. The same odds pretty much apply to Woods coming up with anything nearly as graceful as Joe’s TW Confession.
Those who argue that Woods’ sexcapades as bear on whether his golf is worthy of admiration might as well consider whether the sexcapades of many of modern history’s greatest musical composers and authors have anything to do with the worthiness of their compositions.
Why are #28′s ‘big 3′ granted a dignity that Woods’ “skanks” are denied?
@ Dr. Smooth:
That’s crazy, Dr. Smooth, because this TF has been saying the same thing in the Boston area. I guess all TFs just think alike–you know, me, him, and Tom Felton, who certainly knows something about looking evil.
“Tiger is a fake that has been using us and his skills to make money and have lots of sex.”
I believe Tiger Woods is the first person in history ever to attempt this.
I liked #13s post – made me laugh out loud. What it shares with Joe’s post is honesty – the sad thing is we won’t get either version. The statement will be fodder for the media, and the media is uninterested in reality.
“Hello,
I’m Tiger Woods, and I play golf. Golf is a game played almost entirely by wealthy people, on vast stretches of poisoned grass and obsessively manicured vegetation. Golf is polo, golf is country clubs, golf is the upper class and everyone trying to get there.
I got there. I’m a billionaire, and if you can imagine what that’s like then you’ll know that I had a lot of temptations and I gave in to quite a few. I’m sorry I hurt people and made a fool of myself, but don’t worry about me. I’m just a guy that plays a game for a living. I’m a nothing, though a lot of people cash their checks on my back.
I have one request: parents, don’t let your kids play golf. It’s a bad, bad game, bad for society and the environment and full of awful greedy people who just want to keep what is theirs and get what is yours. Make your kids play piano or chess, and teach them to respect women.
I’m Tiger, and I’m sorry.
Hi, this is Tiger. Um, can you all just erase from your voicemail everything that has been said about me since I ran my Escalade into a tree back in November? My wife is going through my life and may call you. So if you can, just forget all about that stuff. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.
Tomrigid:
Perfect, except you forgot to talk about race!
#notsarcasmsarcasm
It’s nice to have a yacht.
I don’t need an apology from Tiger Woods. I don’t think anybody from the public does. If you do need an apology from Tiger Woods as a fan, well, you might just need to get your own life and stop living your life for some athlete that you don’t know personally.
Hi, I’m Tiger Woods. I threw away hundreds of millions of dollars all because I’m fake as a 3 dollar bill..and because I like to “play” around with kinda trashy women. It was worth it, right?
Great piece, Joe, and great comments.
But so far I don’t believe anybody has mentioned the topic of addiction. Is Tiger a sex addict? It kinda seems so. But at the same time, extremely talented, skilled, powerful, and charismatic people (men and women) all through history have had sexual opportunities that are not available to the rest of us ordinary folks.
It’s human nature for us to want these gifted people to be people of high values we can look up to, hopefully even inspire us to be better. But at the same time (as has been mentioned in these comments) people need to be who they are. If you’re Hugh Hefner on the inside, then be Hugh Hefner on the outside and not a hypocrite, liar, and cheater.
This is complicated by the fact that we live in a puritanical, hypocritical society when it comes to sex. We’re bombarded with sex in TV, movies, music, and advertising, and then told to abstain. We refuse to even give our kids competent (life-saving!) sexual education. In addition, people have widely varying desires and needs for sex.
There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of sex, if it’s honest, consensual, and healthy. But if it’s an addiction, that’s a whole different story. Untreated addiction masks a lot of pain and fear. It kills your soul, and infects everybody close to you.
For better or worse, Tiger is not just a golfer. He’s an icon. And the best thing he can do is be honest about who he is. If he has an addiction, he could do a lot of good in the world by making it public and shining some light on a serious societal problem.
If he’s not an addict, but someone who prefers a lot more sex than his wife, the marriage is probably never going to work anyway, and he should live his life the way he wants to. Hopefully his family will eventually respect him for his candor.
“Tiger is a fake that has been using us and his skills to make money and have lots of sex. ”
How exactly has Tiger Woods used you? Have you felt personally slighted by Tiger? Athletes make money on their skills, plain and simple and I don’t see how that makes Tiger different from anyone else. Why do people insist on holding athletes to a role model high standard? If they keep it off the field, I don’t care. TO annoys me because he brings his issues to the stadium and throws temper tantrums on the sideline. I grew up watching George Brett and I constantly have people tell me how they met him and he was a jerk and they don’t like him anymore. Who cares?
Charles Barkley had it right. “I’m not a role model… Just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.”
My prediction on the golf end of things is that he plays next week in Phoenix. Tiger is getting some grief about having the news conference today and distracting from the Accenture Match Play.
His agent’s response was that the conference has to be today, on Friday. Throwing out wild guesses about divorce, blackmail and the like, the only thing that makes sense to me is that Tour members have until 5pm on Friday to commit to the following week’s tournament. Thus today has to be the day if he is going to announce that he is playing next week.
If I am right, the Phoenix Open is an interesting choice. The 16th hole is a beer-fest of 15,000 fans who scream wildly after every shot. Hit a good one and they go nuts; hit a mediocre shot and they boo.
I can’t imagine the reaction to Tiger, though he hasn’t played the event in about 10 years. Maybe he is banking on hitting one tight and getting the fans on his side.
“Sex addiction” as a disease is laughable.Woods happens to be a man who by dint of his status was given the chance to have sex with slutty stupid women, and by weakness of character broke his wedding vows. He’s a cad and a jerk, but that is not a disease.When you hear of the first garbageman, policeman or Marine going to sex rehab, let us all know. We have expanded the definition of what a disease is until it’s meaningless. And we do so to try to not accept blame for our own actions.
Agree with the sentiment here that Woods doesn’t owe the public or anyone other than his family an apology. And that is between them anyway.
And because some media people call him an “icon” doesn’t mean anything when it comes to your kids or him being “role model”. It’s one thing to watch sports and enjoy the games. If you expect or think there’s anything more to that, you are a child. And you shouldn’t have children.
Today’s proceedings are a sham for Woods’ marketing parntners. He’s a not charismatic leader, he’s a very good golfer, nothing more.
Hmm, seems like my crystal ball is a bit hazy if the below is true:
http://www.golf.com/golf/tours_news/article/0,28136,1966595,00.html?eref=sihp
This just in: All men under the age of 35 are sex addicts!! After the age of 35 it starts to subside. At 35 men begin the process of formulating actual thoughts and exhibiting patience.
However, it should be noted at this same exact age – 35 – , women start to become sex addicts.
As a man mentally preparing for my 40′s , I have found the best way to avoid a potential relapse of my sex addiction is to avoid women over the age of 35.
The truest words in this column and comments were spoken by #63 – Bugg at least as it pertains to the concept of sex addiction. There is no such thing, just weak minds.
I disagree somewhat with his view on role models though I agree 100% that no parent should ever view him (or any other athlete) as a role model. Still the simple fact is that kids do make role models of athletes and therefore athletes should at least consider the effect their actions would have on fans.
As for #13 and the one person who thought it was appropriate, even funny, I don’t think you should be saying things like that in public. Because I know at least 3 people who would simply hit you in the nose for taking the victim in this and turning her into the “bad guy.”
It is possible she is a gold digger and it is even possible she isn’t that great in bed but there are no facts in evidence that suggest it – just facts that clearly state who the real bad guy in that relationship is: Tiger.
I don’t much like Golf and therefore never became a Tiger worshiper so I don’t really care what approach he takes but I know this – if he takes Joe’s approach, I would like him much better than I have in the past and certainly than I do now.
Just finished watching Tiger’s apology. Thought it was all we could hope for, totally genuine, and the statement of a person who is truly confronting his demons. Especially moved by his admission that he realizes he needs help and can’t do it alone. He obviously feels absolutely sorry for what he’s done and for hurting people. I feel like he’ll make it all the way back, but as a new and better Tiger Woods.
to e at 65: I appreciate the humor, we can always use humor. Sexual addiction is unfortunately not often funny. The collateral damage to multiple lives can be devastating. That said, it does seem like all men have the potential. In the words of Billy Crystal, “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
Let’s pull for Tiger and hope his journey helps a lot of people.
Pitch perfect, Joe, as usual. If you weren’t such a fantastic writer I’d think you might have missed your calling as a PR flack/image consultant.
The paradox is that if Tiger were the kind of person who’d give this speech, he’d never be in the position to be giving such a speech.
I was impressed with Tiger’s apology. He stood up, took responsibility for what he did and admitted he needs help. Not many people can do that.
Compare that with McGwire’s apology, where he just kept making excuses as to why he did what he did (I was injured) or tried to say his actions weren’t that bad (steroids didn’t help me).
I think I also said that he should be who he is, and not pretend to be something he isn’t so that he can get lots of commercials and try to use that fake image to get us to buy products. Like it or not, it’s a fact of life that he gets commercials because somehow we associate his personality and excellence with those products and their value/worth. It may not make much sense, but it is the reality of the world.
He faked being a good guy, if he had been himself (whatever that is) would he have gotten all those endorsements? I don’t think so. He uses his fame (which is only granted by fans and the media) to make money and get laid. That’s how he used us.
As for me specifically, I’ve made it clear to my kids that no human being is perfect, and that it is ok to respect an athlete for their athletic performance, but that they should probably not make assumptions about them as human beings based on their excellence at hitting a golf ball or baseball or whatever. What’s important is treating other people with respect, realizing you aren’t the only person on the planet…..not being a great athlete.
@66 Cardinal Mike…
Thank you for your advice on public disclosures.
I have just one question — why is “bad guy” in quotes??
“When you hear of the first garbageman, policeman or Marine going to sex rehab, let us all know.”
Happens all the time. It’s just not in the papers.
I think people sometimes object to the word “addict”. I don’t know if there’s truly such a thing as sexual addiction. But there are absolutely people who engage in compulsive, self-destructive sexual behavior, and they can be helped through therapy. Is Tiger one of these people? I don’t know. He might be.
To those that can’t understand why someone needs an apology from Tiger, I think that question kind of misses the point. I doubt many people are personally offended by him, or feel that they need an apology from him. Most people understand that they are in no way harmed by what he did, so it is not personal. What we expect is for people to do the right thing. When someone who has profited enormously from public support and money makes a bad mistake, the human thing to do is show some public contrition. It is not for us personally, it is for us as a society. We still believe in family, treating others well, honesty, decency, etc.
This morning I visited cbssports.com and saw on the front page a link to this post in its “experts” column. Those Ft. Leavenworth gigs must be doing something after all.
Admitting you need help is excusing yourself from your actions. The concept of sexual addiction is laughable. Tiger needs to learn to keep his pants on, he needs to develop some integrity, but he doesn’t need help w/an addiction.
I need to fully understand sex addiction. I know it’s real and thankfully it is. Chicks want to crap babies and dudes want to spread their seed and we’re all addicted to doing so. It’s the human condition. Sex addiction: Lets keep it up!
And, this is just conjecture on my part, but I’m more convinced than ever that he did this during a golf tournament, sponsored by the first company to fire him, to hurt that sponsor and tournament, than I thought I would be. My hypothesis remains that he’s a jerk.
@63 & 66; Hypersexuality is clearly a disorder of the brain along with bulimia and other addictive destructive behaviors. It along with many of those disorders is usually found in people who exhibit symptoms of bipolarity. Whether or not Tiger is bipolar isn’t really my care or business but to denigrate people who have a serious disorder because of the way their neural pathways and receptors are set up is low and uncouth.
“I have a yacht. It’s nice to have a yacht….I don’t feel sorry for myself. I do have a yacht, after all.”
Priceless.
Obviously Tiger is never going to say something like that, does he even feel like that? I don’t know, probably. It would be refreshing to hear a sportsman say something like this though because really deep down it’s probably how we’d all feel.
People who talk that way don’t get to be the greatest athletes in the world. They’re too aaware of things other than what will make them great. I thin that has something to do with most great athletes not being able to relate to their media coverage and their audiences.
When you set out to be the greatest in the world at something, and that something is important enough to enough people to involve fame and fortune, it comes at a great cost to the people in your life. This is not news. So I don’t feel sorry for his wife. If she had half a brain she knew exactly what she was getting. But people like Tiger shouldn’t have kids, because their families will always be a distant second to their chosen field.
OK, the real Tiger has spoken and I did not care to even try to listen. I’m not sure why….When it was about to be re-played on the news cable show a few hours later I turned it off. Maybe, I’ll stick with Joe’s rendition for now. I have too many problems with Tiger’s completely inescuseable behavior to be listening to him yet.
Oh about the yacht….The two best days of a man’s life. Day One: When he buys the boat.
Day Two: The day he sells the boat!
“Take my wife. Please.”
That’s how Tiger should have started off that speech.
And when nobody laughed, he could have tapped the microphone and said, “Is this thing on?”
So many missed opportunities.
The writer then cites a quote from Earl Woods, who died in 2006, in which he said, “I’ve told Tiger marriage is unnecessary in a mobile society like ours.”
A word about Tiger supposedly disrupting the Accenture tournament: It wasn’t and never was going to be televised until well after his statement. And besides that, how many people even KNEW about that tournament until Woods made his statement? The man has to go back to rehab on Monday, so there was no other choice anyway. Anybody who’s ever been in or knows somebody who’s been in rehab knows it’s not the most flexible thing, for a lot of reasons. If he’s truly taking responsibility for his actions, and it appears he is, then he had little choice than to give his statement today (although, yes, it would have been preferable to do this in November or December).
Please. Enough about his “disrupting” the tournament. It seems to me people are just looking for another reason to slam the guy.
Awesome Joe. Now I just can’t wait for you to get incredibly rich and famous and then get caught in some scandal so we can get a real one of these.
That’s the column the glorious writers want and need to write. Wow am I sick of hearing and reading sportwriters tell famous people what they shoudl say as if they had any idea of who that person is and needs in their life.
Here’s a writing exercise and a column I would love to read from Joe Posnanski:
Think of the worst thing you ever did in your life. Now write a blog on it for us all to see. That’s a piece of work you have expertise on, everything else your just another gawker at the wreck on the highway. You know nothing about Tiger Woods except what you already invented in your own mind- so for once can a writer put himself out there.
Circle me a fan of E.
@ Mark Daniel
Awesome.
Joe, very good column. My point would be less about what I would say and more about what I would do. I would write a check for $5 million for the Haiti relief fund. The act of doing a good deed connects more with people then any contrite act of forgiveness.
I think Tiger is one of those supertalented dorks that really had no sense of himself before he turned pro and raked in hundreds of millions from endorsers. Once Jordan “took him under his wing”, it was all over…Jordan was the cool kid that everybody loved even though he’s probably the biggest asshole out there. Tiger, on the other hand, is a socially unconfident, extremely sensitive guy (look at his response to the criticism he received from his racist jokes, look at what has come out about his trysts, look at how he reacted to getting caught cheating) who is only comfortable in his “golf player” skin. Trying to get away with the same things Jordan did…forget about it!
Honestly, I feel sorry for Tiger.
I’m Tiger Woods. And if you don’t chew Big Red – f*** you!
“I don’t think I’m a bad person. I hope I’m not a bad person. But I have been wild.”
I always have a tough time with the concept of ‘good people doing bad things’. You are what you do. The action was bad or it wasn’t. If you do one bad thing, realize it, and change for the better, then you can think yourself good. If you continue to do bad things, then you continue to be a bad person.
That’s brilliant, he should have used it.
@75: “Admitting you need help is excusing yourself from your actions.”
Say what?
[...] though: check out Jeff Pearlman’s thoughts here, and Joe Posnanski’s thoughts here and here. Jeff’s is based off Posnanski’s, and both are worthwhile reads (but only start [...]