LXXXVIII Lines About XLIV Super Bowl
Posted: February 4th, 2010 | Filed under: Other Sports | 50 Comments »
One of the things about getting older is that you get used to things. I’m not saying jaded. I’m a big believer that you have to try very hard in life to not get jaded. But you do get used to things. Take the Super Bowl. This is my 13th Super Bowl. I’ve had one more Super Bowl than wedding anniversary. Whatever that means.
Well, one thing that it means is that I’ve seen all this before. Many times. And after a while, it all just begins to feel … normal. The hype. The absurdity. The ridiculous questions. The cliche answers. Normal. At my first Super Bowl, one of the big questions to players was this: “How are you dealing with the Super Bowl hype?” As time went on, the question turned on itself: “How are you dealing with all the questions about the Super Bowl hype?” And now, the question has added another layer: “How will you dealing with the hype of media day where people will ask you about how you are dealing with the hype of the Super Bowl?”
It’s only a matter of time before people ask how players are the dealing with the questions about the questions about the questions about the questions.
That’s OK to me, though. It seems to me that when you name a game “Super Bowl” and place Roman Numerals after it and bring back The Who from the crypt to play halftime, you are pretty much letting everyone know in advance that you consider this a pretty big game. Hype is part of the Super Bowl just like sensory overload is part of a trip to Las Vegas and the “It’s a Small World” song is part of the “It’s a Small World” ride at Disney World. If you’re going to write about the Super Bowl, you better embrace the hype.
What’s not OK to me, though, is that after being a few of these Super Bowls, it’s easy to lose the thrill of it all. You can’t help it. Media day loses its weirdness. The back and forth banter loses its charm. The hype loses its hype. I remember the first time I went to a Super Bowl banquet hall press conference. You probably know that every Wednesday and Thursday of Super Bowl week, they will rent out these giant banquet halls and they will get every player from each team and put them at a table somewhere in the hall. And then — seriously — they will give reporters treasure maps* so that will know where to find the players we want. It’s like journalism and an Easter Egg hunt all at once.*
*I have always thought they should make these maps really complicated so that we have to solve Da Vinci Code type puzzles in order to figure out where, say, Jeff Saturday is sitting. So far, they haven’t done it that way, but I hope.
Anyway, the first time I went into one of these banquet halls, I thought it was just about the most amazing thing I had ever seen. Here were all the players and all the coaches, each one with his own story, his own journey, his own feelings about playing in the biggest game in American sports. I was just blown away.
And, to be honest, I don’t get the same feelings walking into that banquet hall now. This is probably because I have been in the Super Bowl banquet hall so many times I understand that, yes, they all HAVE their own stories and journeys and feelings. But they mostly SAY the same things, which includes how:
1. It’s a dream come true.
2. They have to treat this like any other game.
3. They have a lot of friends who want tickets.
4. They will take it one play at a time.
5. They will find time to enjoy the moment.
6. They have the ultimate respect for their opponent.
7. They think they will win.
Virtually everything that is said in the banquet hall will fall under one of those seven categories. And so, yes, it’s so easy to get used to the banquet hall press conferences, to grow deaf to the same quotes, to get exhausted by Super Bowl week. But, I think that’s dangerously close to becoming jaded. And that’s not good.
So, this year, I am taking the quotes very seriously. I am writing down every single thing I hear, whether I think it’s interesting or not. I am reading every single quote sheet.* I am going to try to see this game with the same wonder I felt when I went to my first Super Bowl.
*There have been 103 … and counting.
And so this is the plan: Tomorrow, I will write a Super Bowl XLIV column with XLIV quotes in it. And today, in honor of The Nails’ classic song “88 Lines about 44 Women,” I am offering LXXXVIII lines about XLIV Super Bowl.
If nothing else, this should give all the people too busy to follow the Super Bowl something to talk about at the office on Friday.
1. Colts quarterback Peyton Manning always looks like he’s changing plays at the line.
2. Many people think he’s bluffing.
3. The Colts teammates insist he’s not bluffing.
4. But those Colts teammates could be bluffing.
5. People in New Orleans have been inspired by the Saints.
6. The Saints insist that it’s the people of New Orleans who have inspired them.
7. It’s like a big inspiration circle.
8. Saints’ coach Sean Payton is a mastermind at creating matchup problems.
9. This leads to the inevitable comparison between coaching football and playing chess.
10. In chess, though, it doesn’t really help if you yell at your bishop.
11. Colts receiver Pierre Garcon is from Haitian descent.
12. This has led to many questions about the devastation and suffering in Haiti.
13. This is a very difficult line to walk. On the one hand, Garcon’s heart obviously aches for Haiti and he hopes his Super Bowl performance can bring just a little bit of light into the terrible darkness. On the other hand, he’s a football player playing a game; what can he say that will sound right when dealing with this sort of tragedy?
14. Still, the question keeps coming at him.
15. Colts coach Jim Caldwell seems like a very nice and very boring guy.
16. Colts tight end Dallas Clark went to Iowa as a walk-on linebacker.
17. As a junior, he won the John Mackey Award as America’s best college tight end.
18. He then left for the NFL.
19. Dallas Clark has to be the only player in college football history to start as a walk-on and then leave school early to join the NFL.
20. The Saints want to cause turnovers.
21. The Colts want to cause turnovers.
22. You get the feeling neither team feels too confident in their ability to actually STOP the other teams offense. They need fumbles and interceptions.
23. The Super Bowl media center is only a couple of miles away from where Chris Evert learned how to play tennis.
24. People have underestimated Drew Brees all his life.
25. People are still underestimating him and this Saints team.
26. Brees likes being underestimated.
27. Special teams will play an important part in the game.
28. The offensive lines will play an important part in the game.
29. Defensive intensity will play an important part in the game.
30. Luck will play an important part in the game.
31. But good teams make their own luck.
32. Colts defensive end Dwight Freeney might not play because of a bad ankle.
33. Colts defensive end Dwight Freeney might surprise people and play even with the bad ankle.
34. The next 3,497 questions heard at the Super Bowl will revolve around Nos. 32 and 33.
35. Florida quarterback Tim Tebow did an anti-abortion commercial that will appear during the Super Bowl.
36. Many think Tebow will be flop in the NFL because of his flaws as a quarterback.
37. Many think Tebow will be an NFL star because of his competitiveness and athletic ability.
38. After the Freeney questions, the next 1,734 questions will revolve around Tebow.
39. Brees says that nobody ever came into the NFL with the expectations of Saints running back Reggie Bush.
40. Bush has not yet rushed for 600 yards in an NFL season.
41. Bush admits it’s disappointing that he has not yet achieved stardom.
42. But after playoff run — three touchdowns in two games — he thinks he is on the brink.
43. The Who is playing at halftime.
44. Nobody seems to know if Pete Townshend will smash his guitar after the performance.
45. The guess seems to be that, yes, he will smash his guitar.
46. Townshend smashing his guitar at halftime of the Super Bowl will show you just how much of a cliche that tired bit of music rebellion has become.
47. The Colts cannot run the ball at all. They finished dead last in the NFL in rushing yards.
48. The Colts DO NOT run the ball. They were second-last in rushing attempts.
49. The Colts insist they will try to run the ball in the Super Bowl.
50. A few people suggest that the Saints defense “plays dirty.”
51. The Saints’ defenders insist that they do not play dirty at all.
52. The Saints prefer to call it “playing hard.”
53. The Super Bowl Media Center is about three miles from the Swimming Hall of Fame.
54. Does Michael Phelps have to wait five years after his last Olympics to be eligible?
55. Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams said that his players need to hit Peyton Manning early and often.
56. Of course, EVERY defensive coordinator says that before the team plays the Colts.
57. Manning was sacked 10 times all year. He was sacked 14 times last year.
58. The Saints are probably not going to hit Peyton Manning a whole lot.
59. Colts coach Jim Caldwell seems like a very nice and very boring guy.
60. Oh, wait, I already said that.
61. Matt Stover at age 41 will kick for the Colts.
62. Matt Stover has never led the league in scoring.
63. But Matt Stover, over his career, is fourth all-time in the league in scoring.
64. The Saints offensive line won the Madden Most Valuable Protectors Award as the best offensive line in football.
65. The award was accepted by Saints great Archie Manning which is striking on two counts.
66. One, Manning is of course the father of Colts quarterback Peyton Manning.
67. Two, Manning never got much offensive line protection in his Saints career.
68. Archie Manning was sacked 49 times in 13 Saints games in 1975.
69. Peyton Manning has been sacked 45 times the last three seasons. Combined.
70. This looks to be the last game for Colts legendary offensive line coach Howard Mudd.
71. Mudd was at the first Super Bowl as a fan.
72. Mudd has coached offensive lines for six NFL teams (seven if you count the Seahawks twice) going back 36 years.
73. He’s been around so long, his official Colts’ title is “Senior Offensive Line Coach.”
74. This is the first time since 1993 that No. 1 seed in both conferences will face each other in the Super Bowl.
75. People recite this stat mechanically. But doesn’t it mean something? Doesn’t it mean that being a No. 1 seed — being the best team in your conference — does not provide enough of an advantage come playoff time?
76. Saints receiver Marques Colston, at 6-foot-4, 225 pounds, is expected to cause match-up headaches for the Colts.
77. Colston went to Hofstra and, perhaps because of that, was a seventh-round draft pick. He was chosen 252nd overall.
78. Don’t you wonder: How do NFL teams who spend countless hours and millions of dollars scouting players — and all desperately need big receivers who cause matchup problems — miss players like Marques Colston?
79. The Saints players embrace that they’re the underdog.
80. The Saints players insist that they’re not the underdog.
81. The Colts players embrace that they’re the favorite.
82. The Cols players insist that they’re not the favorite.
83. Neither of these teams have played outdoors since the beginning of January.
84. Because of this, there has been way too much talk about the weather.
85. The weather right now looks like it will be 71 and sunny.
86. The highest-scoring Super Bowl was in 1994 when San Francisco beat San Diego 49-26.
87. The highest-scoring COMPETITIVE Super Bowl was 1978, when Pittsburgh beat Dallas 35-31.
88. There’s every reason to believe and hope this will be the highest scoring competitive game in Super Bowl history.
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Matt Stover: the Bert Blyleven of NFL kickers?
Come on, Joe, couldn’t you have stretched that list to 100?
Superficiality masquerading as gravity, that’s the superbowl hype machine’s M.O.
Excellent post, as usual. And you disn’t fall for the “South Florida” dodge.
Wow, a Nails reference. You just made my day.
Circle me Jaded
89. Big time players make big plays in big games.
Circle me Bud Bowl
I think that Terry Glenn walked on and left after his junior year.
Love #10.
Will there be a follow up XII lines about Puppy Bowl VI?
Circle circle circle.
Circle.
You “circle me” guys are idiots.
On the sack thing, Drew Brees and Peyton Manning are far more responsible for that than people think. I suspect you could put Matt Cassel behind Madden’s Most Valuable Protectors and they would suddenly look much worse at giving up sacks.
Link in my name is to a piece I wrote that argues sack rate should be part of the passer rating formula, and draws an analogy to baseball and Bill James from 25 years ago, when walks were thought to be the responsibility of the pitcher, and nothing that the hitter did.
Back to Manning and Brees, when we look at advanced stats that account for era and relation to league average (much like ERA+)the single thing they have been best at over their careers is avoiding sacks–each over a standard deviation better than the league. The thing they have been worst at is interception rate-both still above average but not significantly so.
Incidentally, Manning has finished in the top 10 in avoiding sacks every year of his career, but his worst year was in 2001, when all five linemen from the previous year returned, but Edgerrin James missed most of the season with a torn ACL.
I guess I should add, there is nothing that I find more annoying than the media’s coverage of itself on media day.
Circle @ #10:
I prefer to call them circle jerks.
I’d much rather read a “circle” comment – especially a clever one – than deal with the “First!” comments found on most sites.
Consider it trading Neifi Perez for Jermaine Dye.
Don’t want to mess with your shtick here, Joe, but in case you’re genuinely looking, it sounds like Fujita is handing out some good stuff.
Joe,
you said: “75. People recite this stat mechanically. But doesn’t it mean something? Doesn’t it mean that being a No. 1 seed — being the best team in your conference — does not provide enough of an advantage come playoff time?”
What you’re saying is pretty misleading. Since 1994 there have been 32 Super Bowl teams, and 15 of them have been number 1 seeds. There have also been 10 2 seeds, 5 3 seeds, and 2 4 seeds. So basically, there has been exactly ONE Super Bowl in the last 16 years that did NOT feature a #1 seed, and that was last year (4 seed against a 2). Seems to me that #1 seeds are doing quite well for themselves.
Townsend and the Who should smash their instruments before they play a note and then leave the stage in defiance. *That* would be rock and roll.
Isn’t Springsteen sliding across the stage a tired cliche as well? But he did at the Superbowl, and it was fun. And it was unpredicatble, in that we (and likely he) didn’t know he was going to hit the cameraman. Smashing a guitar can be even more unpredicatble — i doubt there’s a sure-fire way to control where some bit of the guitar might fly off to. My point is: certain things in a rock show, while they might be cliched, have an intrinsic excitement to them. Townshend smashing a guitar surely qualifies.
I kind of assumed (notwithstanding the explanation Joe gave us about the song), that Joe picked 88 because it is the longest number under 100 in Roman numerals. Which looks kind of cool.
I’m with Noah @16 on the No. 1 seed issue. Since 1994, top seeds have reached the Super Bowl just under 50% of the time. If that indicates the top seed isn’t receiving sufficient advantage for their regular season accomplishments, what % would? It seems to me part of the thrill of the NFL playoffs is that every team has at least a glimmer of a chance of making it to the big game. As it is, with an automatic first round bye the #1 & #2 seeds get an advantage without parallel in the other major sports. With a free pass to the conference semis, if each game were a coin flip their odds of making the Super Bowl would be 1 in 4 – while in baseball, basketball, and hockey, it’s 1 in 8. Then, of course, the top seeds in the NFL also get homefield throughout AND an extra week of rest over their first opponent. If the point were to see the 2 #1 seeds play the Super Bowl every year, just do away with the playoffs all together.
LXXXVIII = XLIV x II
Is anyone else familiar with the Heywood Banks song called “18 Wheels on a Big Rig”? I about drove off the road laughing when I heard it on the radio for the first time, about 15 years ago. Roman numerals – especially lengthy ones – always make me smile just thinking about that song; references to medieval German, as well.
I didn’t realize Crash Davis instructed football players as well.
Again re #75, as long as seeds are determined by straight W-L record of teams playing vastly different schedules, IMO the 1 (and 2) seeds currently have too much of an advantage with the bye week.
The Who are going to be really lame. That said, #17 Roarke nails it. THAT would be rock ‘n’ roll.
It will be pretty awesome if/when somebody outdoes Prince’s halftime show…so far no one has come close.
Joe wrote: #77. Colston went to Hofstra and, perhaps because of that, was a seventh-round draft pick. He was chosen 252nd overall.
Here’s #77a. Hofstra, which currently has 7 players/alumni in the NFL, just decided to terminate its football program due to budget constraints.
#’s 10 and 13 – lighten up guys. It’s all just good clean fun.
Did anyone ever hear the story of the two professors? One of them gave tedious, boring lectures. The other gave vibrant, informative, exciting lectures. One lectured to the students, the other engaged the students.
When asked how they motivated themselves to teach the same subject year after year after year, professor #1 said, “It’s hard. I try to update my lectures with the latest scientific advancements. But in truth it’s hard to get motivated to teach the same thing over and over again.”
Professor #2 said, “The subject is the same. But the students are different.”
#77b – Hofstra’s sports teams used to be called the Flying Dutchmen; they changed this to the Pride a few years ago.
#77c – Hofstra’s “flag logo” closely resembles an inverted Visa card.
#77d – to my knowledge, neither of the preceding items has involved any sort of lawsuit.
The preceding comment has been brought to you by a proud Long Islander.
@25:
It’s actually neither good nor fun. Possibly clean.
It *is* old and tired, however.
Payton Manning has a house in Venice, and live on brown rice and cocaine.
Pete Townsend will break his hip instead of his guitar.
Circle me #10.
Isn’t there some story about Colston’s coach at Hofstra just trashing him to the pro scouts, which is why he then fell to the seventh round?
I could be wrong. It was either Colston or Miles Austin.
Roarke,
That’s a brilliant idea. Thank you.
19. Dallas Clark has to be the only player in college football history to start as a walk-on and then leave school early to join the NFL.
If not, he’s still almost certainly the only player in college football history to start as a walk-on, change positions, and then leave school early to join the NFL.
HAHA, I had to look at Google to see how much LXXX whatever stood for!
Knowing MR Posnanski i could have seen him writing until 500
I think of the meta-media coverage as akin to when a late night talk show host tells a joke, and then winces and maybe even looks in a direction as if the person responsible for that joke is sitting over there. They can kind of get away with it, just because they are good performers, often charismatic and perhaps legitimately funny. When the super bowl media gags on itself, it’s truly, unredeemingly gag-worthy. Still, I sort of understand the impulse. They have to mix journalism, hype-stoking, and whatever part of a rational human remains amidst all that. Tricky balance. Can make you do stupid things. Makes me wish Hunter S. Thompson was alive and covering the Super Bowl.
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The Colts are going to win because of Manning being the greatest quarterback of all time… there is no way to stop him. If he wants to win the game, he will. They have had a vast amount of 4th quarter comebacks this year and when the Ravens sat back, Peyton found a way to beat them, when the Jets came blitz heavy, Peyton found a way to beat them…
He is just too good and will continue to be until his retires on top of the game. As a fan of the game, I used to hate Manning because of how good he was, but through-out the years, it’s impossible as a fan of the game not to enjoy watching him play.
Drew Brees on the other hands, is no slouch, in my eyes, he is the best quarterback other than Peyton and this is going to be quite the SuperBowl. TheCoach was predicting a Saints-Colts SuperBowl earlier in the season and I am so glad it’s happened!!
Feel free to check out TheCoach’s Pick @
http://www.lionsdenu.com/nfl-picks-superbowl-xliv-indianapolis-colts-vs-new-orleans-saints/
Best of luck to both teams this week,
Regards,
TheCoach
im ok with the old timer acts playing super bowl halftime. what i could do without, is the phony enthusiastic crowd of kids that rush the stage. what motivates a kid to pretend to like something from their grandparents generation? it would be similar to me screaming my head off for frank sinatra. dont get me wrong, i appreciate frank, but i wouldnt run around on a field screaming my head off if i saw him in concert. all that said, the scariest part is that the kids pull the act off well.
on the subject of sacks and advanced stats, this is another example of how football stats are an inexact science. the degree of damage a sack causes is difficult to calculate. did the qb move up in the pocket and only take a 1 or 2 yard loss (a glorified incomplete pass)? what down was it? a third down sack outside of field goal range isnt as bad of a result as the exact same result on second down.
football stats in general seem to have this problem. its a case of looking too closely at the trees and missing the forest. there are too many variables that are ignored when trying to calculate a teams effectiveness.
Impressive to see a Nails song as reference!88/44 !!
Circle me laughing
Thank goodness there is a game to be played some time Sunday, all the rest is becoming over the top, circle me jaded.
I love that line @38 about how if Peyton wants to win, he will. Two thoughts — he must not want to win 100% of the time, which I would think would really piss off his coaches, teammates, etc.
Second, is that anything like pitching to the score… and are you sure you’re not *really* Jack Morris?
The Saints owe even more to Archie Manning.
1. Archie was a great quarterback for them.
2. Archie “suggested” to Eli that he didn’t want to play for the Chargers.
3. Eli was drafted by the Chargers.
4. The Chargers drafted Rivers, the quarterback they really wanted.
5. Brees was forced out of San Diego.
6. New Orleans got the 2nd best qb in football.
7. Thanks to Archie, once again.
#7 Terry Glenn was not a walk on. He enrolled without a scholarship because he was academically ineligible. As soon as he got his grades up he was given a scholarship.
Anybody know what time Saturday morning the pre-game coverage begins???
Obviously I’m not a player so I don’t understand the pressure and
expectations. And I think that this will always be heaviest on players
competing in the Super Bowl. But as far as “Super Bowl hype” goes, I think
that it has plateaued and that it’s really not that big of a deal now. With
the exception of a larger-than-normal press conference, how is this pre-game
scrutiny that much different than the rest of the playoffs, the preseason,
or even the stretch run in the regular season. Because of the technology and
the overflow of information sources – fueled by fantasy football and
gambling, which are the real driving forces behind the NFL’s rise in
popularity to “religion” status – the football world has gotten much
smaller. Twenty years ago people didn’t spend NEARLY as much time obsession
about football as they do today (no real Internet = no real fantasy
football, except in pockets, and no online gambling) so the Super Bowl hype
had real meaning. People didn’t know all of the players, the characters, the
third-string receivers, the quirky back-up tight end, the names of half of
the defensive players. Now anyone who follows football at least has a basic
understanding of about 90 percent of the guys coming into this game. And
between blogs, online news sources, local and satellite talk radio, and
television there isn’t an angle, a weakness, a story line, or a situation
that’s going to come up this week that hasn’t already been talked about or
dissected or discussed 1,000 times previously. Again, there is still
pressure. But Super Bowl Hype is dead. In a way the hyper-expansion and
invasion of all of these news sources – which generally have made the
“spotlight” a lot brighter and a lot harsher – have actually conspired to
TAKE AWAY the impact of what had been a media phenomenon unlike any other,
the Super Bowl Hype.
Reading the title, I half expected to see 44 couplets about each of the offensive and defensive starters on both teams. You know, something like “Peyton was a restless boy/He danced around behind the line”. I think if anybody could pull that off, it would be Joe.
@21. Right there with you about “18 Wheels on a Big Rig”. It’s only a little funny until the Roman numerals start, and then it suddenly brings the house down. For those not in the know, check it out on YouTube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GhQWeZSg9U
Hope I die before I get XLIV, broken hip indeed…