The State of Kansas (Pop Culture 4)
Posted: December 2nd, 2009 | Filed under: Pop Culture | 81 Comments »
I love movie trailers. I have to … we almost never go to actual movies anymore. Here it is, December, and I’m almost certain that the only movies I have actually seen in a movie theater since the Oscars include:
1. Up.
2. Away We Go.
3. Oh God, Book “Please tell me that I have seen more then two movies the last eight months.”
Nope.That’s it. Two movies in, what, eight months? I mean, hey, I realize, this is no great tragedy. I don’t watch television beyond sports, “The Office” and “Parks and Recreation” either … this is just my my boring little life of family, blogging and checking for Tiger Woods updates. Still, I would say that movies are different. I grew up loving movies — I saw EVERYTHING — and now people will begin a conversation with “Have you seen …” and I say “No” before they finish. I haven’t seen it. I haven’t seen anything. Things are bad enough that last night, I saw one of those “Red Boxes” at the supermarket, and I got this ridiculous craving and said: “You know what? I want to get a movie.” And I looked at the choices and was so overwhelmed by how many movies I had not seen (pretty much all of them except Major League) that I felt light-headed and sort of closed my eyes and stabbed at something and bizarrely ended up walking out of the store with “The Proposal.”*
*Haven’t been motivated to watch it yet. Maybe tonight.
Anyway, movie trailers have sort of taken the place of seeing actual movies. And in a way this is a lot of fun. Trailers take less time, they’re usually easy enough to follow, and there’s a bonus for me: I more or less KNOW I will never see the movie. Because I know that I will never see the movie, I watch the trailer as its own entity. I imagine if I would have liked the movie or not. I rank them in my mind (“I think that was a four star trailer!). I enjoy Brilliant Reader Kendell’s theory on movie trailers (“They are only really effective for convincing you NOT to see a movie”) but for me there are many different levels of movie trailer watching.
Take comedies. Sure, some comedy trailers are SO bad — Old Dogs for instance — that I find myself feeling bad for the poor shlep who had to put together the trailer. I just imagine them watching the movie again and again and thinking, “Damn, there HAS to be a scene in here In can use.”
But it’s interesting: Some movie trailers for comedies are funny … and yet they leave me with the overpowering feeling that I have just seen pretty much every funny scene in the movie. So while these trailers are not necessarily effective at getting me go to see the movie (“That theme seems all used up”), they leave me oddly fulfilled because I wasn’t going to see the movie anyway. And I just got an entire movie’s worth of laughs for free and in 60 seconds.
On the other hand, some comedy movie trailers are not funny at all … but they leave me guessing that the movie might actually be pretty good. I felt this way after seeing the “Ghost Town” trailer. I didn’t think the trailer itself was funny at all; kind of the opposite to tell the truth. But I like Ricky Gervais, I like Tea Leoni, I kind of like Greg Kinnear, I like Kristen Wiig. And for reasons I cannot begin to explain I tend to like movies about dead people walking among us. So, I walked away with the strong feeling that I would like this movie even though I thought the trailer was kind of weak. And I did actually see the movie (in a hotel) and I did like it.
There have been two trailers in the last month or so that have intrigued me … for very different reasons. The first is: The Box. I guess the critics mostly agree that The Box wasn’t much of a movie, which I guess shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. But — and I don’t know that I can explain this — I was strangely intrigued by the concept of someone giving you a million dollars if you agree to have someone you don’t know killed. In addition to movies about dead people walking around us, I’m a sucker for moral puzzles such as: “If you see a train heading to kill five people, and you can make the train switch tracks so it only kills one, is that the morally appropriate thing to do? And if it is, let’s say you see a train heading to kill five people, and you have a heavy person sitting next to you who, if you pushed on the track, would stop the train, is that the morally appropriate thing to do? And what’s the difference? And so on.”
Anyway, I guess The Box disappointed, even if it did have a face-scarred Frank Langella.* But I thought the trailer deserved a trailer Oscar nomination.
*I love Frank Langella. One movie I DID see this year before the Oscars was Frost-Nixon and afterward I was never entirely sure if Langella was good or bad in it. If the point was for Langella to recreate Nixon, then I would say he was pretty bad. But if the point was to create a Nixon-LIKE character with many interesting layers — probably more interesting than Nixon himself — then I thought it was brilliant. Then, I really like Frank Langella. I thought his Bob Dole in the movie “Dave” was better than Bob Dole.
The second trailer is just … it’s for the movie “Avatar” (not to be confused with the video game “Avatar” although, let’s be honest, the two are easily confused). “Avatar” is about another planet or giant beings that have blue skin or green skin or something like, and there’s love and, well, yeah, I have no earthly idea what it’s about. I have mentioned here before that I’m not really into fantasy (line ends just beyond the Harry Potter books) or science fiction (line drawn somewhere between The Matrix and The Matrix II). And this seems to be a movie that combines both fantasy and sci-fi with James Cameron mad overkill thrown in, so, yeah, this movie clearly was not made with me as the target audience.
That said: There’s something about the preview that makes me feel, oh, pretty much 100 percent certain that the movie is going to suck …
It’s when the man who apparently is welcoming them to the planet (or something) says: “Ladies and gentlemen, you’re not in Kansas anymore.”
I have to admit, I did one of those goofy Hollywood double takes when he said that. Really? Not in Kansas anymore? Someone is using that line AGAIN? I mean, seriously, this movie cost like $300 million to make — it cost MORE than the New York Yankees payroll — and they’ve got a “Not in Kansas anymore” cliche line in it? And not only that, they feel like that line is SO CRUCIAL that they included it in the trailer?
I love Kansas. I have lived in Kansas. My wife is from Kansas. I have spent countless hours driving all around the state. I suspect I know more about Kansas than most people — it’s where Superman was born found (Smallville, a lovely town), where Amelia Earhart was raised, where Walter Johnson threw his first fastball, where Dean Smith learned basketball, where Barry Sanders made his first football move and where the Little House on the Prairie stood. Don Johnson is from Kansas, and of course so is my wife’s current PIAATROWSTOA* Paul Rudd.** I’ve been to Dwight Eisenhower’s home and Bob Dole’s hometown and where Wyatt Earp kept the law. Kansas, I’m told, received the fewest tourism dollars of all 50, but I have been to most of the tourism attractions, even if I have not yet made it to Cawker City and the world’s largest ball of twine.
*Person I Am Allowed To Run Off With Should The Opportunity Arise.
**And so is the band “The Embarrassment” which I knew absolutely nothing about … I learned about them from Thomas Frank’s “What’s the Matter With Kansas.” The Embarrassment was an indie-rock band from about 1979-83 … with brilliantly named songs like “Elizabeth Montgomery’s Face,” “Viewmaster,” “Hip and Well Read” and so on. I bought what I assume is their entire 42-song collection for $9.99, and I love it. The music has the remarkable ability to make me feel nostalgic for a time … it’s remarkable because I have never heard these songs before.
And, of course, Kansas is the grainy black and white home in “The Wizard of Oz,” which has led pretty much every wit for 70 years to say, at one point or another: “Hey, we’re not in Kansas anymore.” And the great thing is how people say it like NO ONE ever used the line before. I have to say this is annoying on so many levels, one of those being, as I just mentioned, that I’ve been told Kansas received the fewest tourism dollars of all 50 stats. So, basically, people generally have not been to Kansas in the first place.
But even more than that, the line is OLD. That gag doesn’t just have whiskers on it, it has Walt Whitman’s beard. I mean, that gag should have retired back with “Frankly My Dear” and “Play it again Sam” gags. Think about it: How many times do you think “We’re not in Kansas anymore” has been used in motion pictures, television, whatever. It has to be hundreds. I mean, at least the The Matrix tried to jazz it up a little bit with the “Buckle your seatbelt Dorothy because Kansas is going bye-bye.”
But for a movie to just use that cliche straight — and apparently Avatar uses it as a SERIOUS line — well, as a writer, it just disgusts me. As soon as I heard them use that line in the trailer, I knew I would not go see the movie.
Of course, I wasn’t going to see it anyway. I suspect the movie will still do all right.
Loading ...
Technically…Superman was not born in Smallville, but found there. And it was in 1978 that Smallville was put in Kansas. Prior to that, Superman was said to grow up in Iowa or Maryland.
Circle me, John Brown.
“And the great thing is how people say it like NO ONE ever used the line before.”
I don’t think that’s entirely true. I think people say it like one other guy once used the line. Or two.
What I mean is, it’s not a great line that people are making believe that they just made up. People are referring back to an original usage of the line.
It’s just that a million people have used it before.
Hitler shares your feelings about Avatar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAPyipuT-Jg
Personally, I not only laughed at the “kansas” line but also the “get your real legs back” and “lost in the woods” lines.
Thanks for all the posts today!
“The Box” is based on a 1970 sci-fi story I’ve always liked that was adapted for the “New Twilight Zone” series from 1986. (Why isn’t THAT on Hulu? I want to see Bruce Willis in “Shatterday” again.) But, like most good short stories stretched into movie-length form (“Paycheck,” f’rinstance), I’m just about 100% sure it sucked, too.
Someone needs to write a book titled “What’s the Matter With Thomas Frank.”
My wife and I have a theory that to date has never been proved wrong…..
The more times that we see a commercial for a movie before opening weekend, the worse it will be.
The logic is that movie companies try to get every possible dollar from that opening weekend because they know that once people start talking about how crappy the flick is, nobody else will see it.
To date, it has never been wrong.
About Kansas, that line embarrasses me as well. I grew up in Olathe, my extended family stretches from Pratt to Lyons to Sterling, KSU, KU, etc. The joke about Kansas is old….very very very old.
Don’t forget that both Dean Smith AND Adolph Rupp came from Kansas and learned basketball at Kansas. For this reason I feel comfortable claiming half of Kentucky and half of North Carolina’s total wins for KU.
This is a super random question.
“So, I walked away with the strong feeling that I would like this movie even though I thought the trailer was kind of weak.”
Did you watch the trailer for then actually walk away from it? I suspect not, but that’s what I keep picturing when you (and other writers) use the phrase “walk away from.”
Movie trailers always remind me of Christopher Walken’s line from True Romance.
“Now, what we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don’t wanna show me nothin’, but you’re tellin me everything.”
I think making trailers is a lot harder than making an actual movie – you’ve got to try and condense 90 minutes of movie into 2 and a half (industry standard), all of this while deciding which scenes to show and which scenes to hide. I’ve noticed that a lot of trailers play like music videos now – a selection of visually impressive scenes set to a song that may not even be on the soundtrack. What would be really fun is coming up with a list of trailers that were better than the actual movie (I think Watchmen would have to be on there).
I, for one, am hoping beyond hope that this Avatar flick becomes a Waterworld in terms of box office draw.
It *does* look absolutely, unquestionably stupid, and the more blockbuster atrocities like this become financial failures for studios, the more dignity we as a society will retain.
You’re right on with the Oz refernces. I hate them. As a Scott, I also get plenty of Trek “beam me up” lines as well. Which is another worn out cliche that just won’t die.
ps. Adolph Rupp, also from Kansas.
Don’t bother with “The Proposal”, Joe. Seriously, just find a basketball game to watch or spend 92 minutes browsing Baseball Reference.
I hate trailers that throw you off the scent of what the movie really is. One of the worst was “Stepmom”. I knew going in that it was a chick-flick but my wife would be happy. But I only agreed because the trailer made it seem like an upbeat rivals movie with Susan Sarandon as the older ex-wife and Julia Roberts as the new young wife. There was happy music in the trailer, Sarandon and the kiddies bouncing on the bed and dancing to MoTown music. Roberts with the big Julia-laugh. etc…..
But noooooooooooooo. Total “slit your wrists” downer. The kids have post-divorce angst….they hate Roberts. Sarandon hates Roberts. Roberts hates being a new mom. Then….then!….Sarandon gets cancer and proceeds to wither away and die while the kids and Roberts cope with the whole situation.
Yes, the movie sucked. But that wasn’t what made me made. Lots of movies stink. I was ticked off at the “bait and switch” pulled off by the trailer. I was brought there under false pretenses!
Trailers don’t market the actual movie; trailers market the movie they think you want to see. Sometimes the movie and the trailer have little in common. For example, go watch the original Star Wars trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gvqpFbRKtQ
It is painfully obvious that the studio had no idea how to sell this movie.
My wife’s PIAATROWSTOA since the mid 80’s — has been Pierce Brosnan.
Joe I also loved the comment in the other post about the things we will try in front of our wife that we would never have tried when she was our girl friend.
Didn’t “little house on the prarie” take place in Walnut Grove (Willow Grove?) MN?
You can’t just take Dances with Smurfs and call it something else!
The actual site of the Charles Ingalls house in Indian Territory was established conclusively in the late 1950s through careful record research done by a librarian named Margaret Clement, which established the Ingalls cabin as having been definitively in the southeast corner of Section 36, Rutland Township, Montgomery County, Kansas.
-wikipedia
I’m overjoyed to know you are enjoying The Embarrassment. Members of The Embarrassment later went on to form The Del Fuegos (who you may know already) and Big Dipper (who are less well known but were and still are excellent). Here they are in their 80’s heyday http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTVcZn_BYcU
@15: That is amazingly true. If anyone besides me ever saw In Bruges, that is an even better example than Star Wars. They marketed it as a buddy comedy through Europe while it was a serious movie about suicide and other dark themes (it was also much better than the commercials made it seem).
1 – Little House on the Prairie was based on life in Minnesota and filmed in California.
2 – Avatar = Giant Blue Ewoks.
@ 7
I totally agree with this theory, it’s one of the things my family and I always notice about movies. And you’re right, as far as I can remember it has never been wrong.
I like Kansas, except for Salina. Salina seems like a real poop hole.
Actually Avatar looks like a modern Ferngully, you know movie that really is saying don’t destroy our environment.
However, i have to strongly disagree with your take on the Kansas line and this is why. The character who says that is obviously a giant a-hole, we are supposed to identify this immediately. How do we know that this is a character to root against? because he uses the Kansas line thereby showing himself to be cliched and unimaginative. Therefore the line perfectly serves its purpose in the trailer which is that you can immediately identify the villain.
I always thought the world’s largest ball of twine was in Darwin, MN. I know they have Twine Ball Days. (or is it Ball of Twine Days?) Does every state have a city that claims the world’s largest ball of twine and nobody bothers to check?
The Embarrassment!
Joe, regarding my comment in a previous post, you should absolutely check out Robbie Fulks given that you enjoy The Embarrassment. Let’s Kill Saturday Night and Couples in Trouble might be the ones you’d like most, but the more overtly country South Mouth is a fine introduction.
(Fulks also writes a “My Day” column on his website in the manner of Eleanor Roosevelt. He is one of the more careful and precise writers working in music today.)
But have you ever seen the fish-within-a-fish fossil at the Sternberg museum in Hays? (its the claim to fame of my wife’s hometown. really, the only one) If that alone hasn’t kept the state in 49th, it must be failure of advertising.
If you go to Cawker City, DO NOT touch the ball of twine. The local kids spend the weekend pissing on it then laughing when the tourists lean against it for photos.
National Lampoon’s Vacation, the Griswalds drive through (a fake) Boot Hill. Dennis Hopper is from Dodge City. Kirstie Alley, Wichita. What else do you need?
The Wizard of Oz line irks us, as Kansans who hear it anytime we travel out of state. It’s almost become something of a slight to hear. For the rest of the world, that line is one of the pinnacle quotes from one of the most widely recognized fantasy movies of all time. I’m assuming that’s a parallel they were trying to establish.
MU 41 KU 39
…afterward I was never entirely sure if Langella was good or bad in it
What I loved about that movie was that I was never sure if Nixon was good or bad in it. It’s not really in the script, either: the movie isn’t really written from Nixon’s point of view.
In honor of Frank, I propose that a “Langella” be a movie that gains unexpected depth due to one great performance.
How cool is it that Joe is an Embarrassment fan! My favorite of their songs is “Celebrity Art Party.” I never saw them but I did see Big Dipper a couple of times back in the 80’s.
With “Fairytale of New York”, you gain back many of the points you lose for your Bruce fetish. But how could you leave “Snoopy’s Christmas” off the list?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jlf—13Q0g&feature=fvw
What’s not to like about Kansas? They have some of the best ‘rest stops’ along its Interstates…
I liked “what’s that matter with kansas” because now as a person from NJ i know pizza hut started there and random facts about the hometown of Sprint. It comes up more than you’d think.
It’s true about trailers, but it is strange that some people are really awful at reading them. I feel like it’s something we’re born with, but out of the blue somebody will say something like “oh The Rocker looks good”
The two movies i thought had awful trailers that for some reason i still went to and were amazed about were Gladiator and to a lesser extent Enemy of the State.
One annyoing habit I’ve seen in comedy trailers is having a scene (which seems to be one of the better jokes), and they decide not to use that scene in the movie.
Maybe I like familiarity but sometimes I’ll go to a movie waiting for one scene that I saw in the trailer to see how it all fits together… and they cut it!
Very frustrating!
I have a question.
How heavy must one be to derail a train?
…
All I can say is, that’s a big twinkie.
Kansas: hoorah! Bleeding Kansas. Cawker City, yesss! One big ball of twine, that. Been there and been to Nicodemus—tiny! Scene of the best pages of Ian Frazier’s excellent “Great Plains.” The Embarrassment? Best song, “Wellsville” (“Pass my life, pass it by, / Pass by Wellsville….”), northeast KS-centric. Saw ‘em twice. I think they all wore glasses. It’s home, Kansas, and I love it.
Why would someone root for Avatar to be bad? Why can’t some movies not be the kind you want them to be, but still be good and enjoyable for others who want that kind of movie? I’m hoping it is good and entertaining. I don’t think it will be, but I’m hoping (though I’m with Joe, I hardly see any movies anymore — but, I disagree that makes my life boring—-I don’t think watching tv or going to movies means you have a more interesting life).
Jeff — There was apparently some sort of kerfuffle about relative twine ball sizes at some point.
All of the souvenirs I have from Darwin (more than you’d think; the beer flows fast and cheap at Twine Ball Days and so does the commerce) note parenthetically that it’s the World’s Largest Twine Ball (Made By One Man). Guessing the distinction was legal or Guinness-required?
It never fails that whenever KU plays on the road, some student in the crowd holds a sign that says, “Hey, KU! You’re not in Kansas any more!”
Walter Chrysler grew up in Ellis, KS. Billionaire Fred Anschutz grew up in Hays, KS.
Fort Hays State University won the 1984 & 1985 NAIA men’s basketball national championships, the 1996 NCAA Division II men’s basketball national championship, and the 1991 women’s basketball national championship.
The film “Paper Moon” was filmed in Hays.
Whoops. I meant billionaire Philip Anschutz.
For Texas cowboys, the railhead towns of Dodge City, Fort Hays and Abilene were the height of culture (and at the same time the depths of depravity) in the 1870s.
The Little House on the Prairie was in KS (in the original movie of the book, that takes place in KS). They then are removed (because Indian Territory wasn’t open to settlers yet) and they eventually move to Walnut Grove, MN, where the TV series takes place. In actuality, the movie and TV series are both pretty accurate as to where the Ingalls lived and when they lived there.
One of the best scenes from Swingers is when Mikey and Trent meet the girl who plays Dorothy at one of those Casino revues. Mike uses the “We’re not in Kansas anymore” line and everyone just stares at him like he’s the biggest tool they’ve ever met.
Commercials are much like movie trailers in that if a commercial is so frequent and/or so bad they will dissuade me from purchasing the product out of annoyance or pure hatred.
Joe-
Given your interest in moral dilemmas, I hope you’ve seen Michael Sandel’s now-televised Harvard course entitled “Justice”, here: http://www.justiceharvard.org/
Pretty great stuff.
I thought Don Johnson was from Galena, Missouri.
Wow, Joe, that was weird. It was like you operated on my brain, took out a cell, transplanted into your brain and then wrote the words contained in that cell. I said EXACTLY the same thing about the Kansas line, even down to the “they even included that line in the TRAILER?” I love James Cameron but really have doubts that it’s a good movie, based on that one line alone. I’m waiting for the reviews before I stick it in my Netflix cue.
The Proposal:
…*ahem*…
Sandy Bullock is Van Wilder’s boss. They hate each other. Sandy is getting thrown out of the country due to some improbably retarted plot twist. Instead of simply going to a lawyer to get this resolved, some other improbably retarted plot twist forces Sandy and Van to pretend to get engaged in order to avoid said deportation. Van turns the table on Sandy and actually buys into the whole improbably retarted plot twist, and forces Sandy to actually act like his fiance. But — and here’s the twist!! — they start to realize that mabye everything they’ve ever wanted has been right in front of their faces this whole time. After a scene where one crushes ther other’s heart (it doesn’t matter who), they come back for a climactic scene in which: SHIT!! EVERYTHING WE’VE EVER WANTED HAS BEEN RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR FACES THIS WHOLE TIME!!
I’ve never seen the movie…did I get it right??
@ Joe K. # 44:
Mikey: “I was kind of turned on by the whole Judy Garland thing. Does that make me some sort of fag??”
Trent: “No baby, you’re money”
@46- I was just going to post that same link. The clip sort of loses some momentum about halfway through, but I like his lecture style in the beginning.
What I can’t believe is that those dipshits in the audience are Harvard students. *Pop!* goes that ideal. Not one of them says anything to indicate even the slightest bit of intelligence, with the possible exception of that one guy with the idea of harvesting 4 healthy organs from whichever of the 5 people dies first.
My favorite part is when the one guy in the audience tries to draw some distinction between turning a wheel to switch tracks and pushing the fat guy, saying that pushing the guy is somehow more directly involving oneself in the situation. Sandel says, “what if the guy was standing on a trap door controlled by a wheel that you could turn…”
I have never been to Kansas although I’d like to go. I have never used the phrase “We’re not in Kansas anymore”. It is as cheesy as it is over-used. Obviously, it is cheesy because it’s over-used, but it is actually over-used as a cheesy line. So, like Joe, when I heard this line in a trailer of a sci-fi movie that has the budget of something going for epic status my mind was blown. Why anyone would want this line in any form in any creative art I have no idea, except that those in charge have a low opinion of moviegoers demands of dialogue.
Also, while “Buckle your seatbelt Dorothy because Kansas is going bye-bye” is a jazzed up version of “we’re not in Kansas anymore” it is still a version and thus horrendous and actually it’s even worse because it’s taking something that became cheesy due to over-use and then after it became cheesy it was over-used even more and then someone thought “let’s get crazy and totally zany” regarding a doubly over-used line.
It’s things like this that make me lament my place in this world. It’s not that my place in this world makes me lament my place in this world. Everybody can’t be king. It’s that something so stupid as including the line “we’re not in Kansas anymore” in a $300 million sci-fi flick was OKed by so many others making much more money in a more interesting field than me. Like I wrote, everybody can’t be king or in the king’s court and I accept that, but when they put atrocious doubly cheesy lines in a designed-to-be-epic movie I can’t accept it. Take that line out of the movie and help me be at peace with my barely bourgeois existence.
I’m upset.
Wasn’t expecting to read the words “The Embarrassment” on here. Wow!
@47: Galena is in Kansas.
http://maps.google.com/maps?q=galena,+ks&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=Galena,+KS&gl=us&ei=1voXS9zAFMX-nAfCj63jAw&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CAwQ8gEwAA
As someone that grew up 5 miles from Darwin, this is not the place I expected to find it being discussed.
As long as Michael Bay doesn’t direct a high budget Sci-Fi/Action film I’m perfectly content with it doing well at the box office, though avatar might have to break $600+ million just to turn a profit.
I don’t go to movies that often anymore. I mostly hate what Hollywood and its cousins put out as “art” or “entertainment.”
However, two excellent movies out now include “An Education” and “Coco Before Chanel”.
They contain a great story-telling sense and make you think. Is that a bad thing anymore?
I’m so excited that I’m now “brilliant reader Kendell.”
I agree with Joe that something about that trailer makes Avatar look like it’s going to be lousy. Despite the crazy budget and special effects it just looks so hackneyed.
Hmmmm, saw “The Box”, I liked it, my date hated it. James Marsden was competent, Frank Langella wasn’t given much to do and Cameron Diaz should never attempt a southern accent again, that was a distraction.
Yes, that is how I watch movies. You can tell me all day that Brad Pitt is Benjamin Button or Pierce Brosnan is James Bond, but they’re just too famous for that.
I saw “Old Dogs” as well. I had to go see it as penance for “The Box”. I laughed more than I thought I would, but it was still quite awful. I guess it was in accordance with Joe’s movie expectations/actual quality theory. I think this was Bernie Mac’s last movie, and he looks quite ill in his scenes.
We’re not in Kansas anymore? I think that is a phrase that people use when they are around people they don’t know and/or are in unfamiliar surroundings, i.e., the “Lost” island, or a guided tour of Jurassic Park.
My girlfriend and I are each divorced parents (hers is 8, mine are 7 &4) who travel extensively for work, so movies at a theater rarely happen–NEVER for adult movies… (Is there a theater anywhere still showing “The Hangover”? We have Saturday open, if her flight isn’t late!!)
But still, on the few occasions we are with our children watching the latest Dreamworks and Pixar movie for kids (“Up with Meatballs in the Sky with Aliens and Monsters” or something), we’ll watch the previews and nod at each other if a good one comes on… It’s like we are acknowledging that if we ever DID get out to see a movie that one would be a good choice… Yet, deep down, we know it won’t happen for years, at best… LOL
As a Kansan by adoption, I get mighty irritated at “Wizard of Oz” references. Yes, I have heard them all before. Several times.
Also, every sucky band that comes through KC does a slapped-together job on the Beatles’ version of “Kansas City” and it sounds like patronizing crapola.
I don’t know if anyone remembers the movie “Kansas,” from the late ’80s, starring Matt Dillon and Andrew McCarthy. It really blew donkey appendages. They did some of the filming in Lawrence. I was working at the Eldridge Hotel bar and every night Matt Dillon would come in and get toasted and bitch about what a hick town Lawrence was. Compared to LA, I suppose.
I’m also surprised that no one’s mentioned “The Day After” yet.
I remember Tom Frank from when he went to Shawnee Mission East. He was a prick. I also vaguely knew Rob Neyer when he spent a semester or two at KU. That means I know everyone from Kansas who has ever written a book.
Well Juancho, you don’t know ME! (Of course my book hasn’t actually been published…..)
Every one of us hwo lives here has heard the musician say “I’m glad to be here in Kansas” when they were actually in Missouri, or whatever. And the tedious “Kansas City” which is not much of a song to begin with. really, if he said “Alabama” instead of “Kansas City” would anyone care about it?
But I have a good one about our obscurity. This summer Joe Bonamassa was up in St. Joseph at the Trails West (or whatever they call it) party. I’ve seen him several times; this was definitely the lamest of the group. Fast and flashy but dull. Anyway, after a couple of songs he said how this was his first time to St. Joe, and how proud he was to be on this stage, and how so many fine performers had been there before, blah blah, all the hackneyed crap guys say in such a venue.
Then, at the end of his show, he stepped to the microphone and shouted, “Thank you St Louis!” Come on, the guy’s name is Joe, and he couldn’t remember that he was in a city with his name? How pitiful….
Juancho–Bill James (genius baseball statistical analyst/sabermetrician) has written many books. He lives in Lawrence.
Author Mickey Spillane went to school at Fort Hays State.
Joe,
Ever hear of Mulberry, Kansas? A Navy buddy used to tell a funny story. Seems he enjoyed the company of darn near every prostitute in Southeast Asia without a bit of medical problem. Gets home to Mulberry and catches the clap from his old high school sweetheart. Life’s funny that way.
I have to agree that the fish-within-a-fish fossil at the Sternberg Musuem in Hays, KS is awesome and easily worth the price of admission. Also, my kids loved the museum’s discovery room, which is much better than similar offerings at other nature centers, parks, etc.
If you haven’t seen this, its a great lesson in how you can edit a film into something completely different. Textbook example of how to use music, too. Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, reimagined as a heartwarming family tale:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmkVWuP_sO0
#21: Totally agree about In Bruges – in fact, that’s the very movie I was thinking about when it came to trailers. I see a lot of movies and distinctly remember saying to myself when I saw that trailer (which came across as midget slapstick – yawn) “I’ll be sure to give that a miss”. But a girlfriend rented it and it could not have been worse served by the trailer. It was one of the best movies of last year.
@54: There is a Galena, Missouri. It’s NE of Branson, roughly halfway between Branson and Aurora. Johnson was born in Flat Creek, MO, just outside Galena, MO, and moved to Kansas as a small boy.
And that’s more than I ever had hoped to type about Don Johnson in my life. With luck, that will never come up in conversation again. Ever.
Watching trailers for Hollywood movies is like being hog-tied to a chair and having volleys of steaming goat manure projected in your face. At top volume.
Here’s my biggest question regarding trailers, though:
Why does there only seem to be two people on earth who narrate them? It’s either the guy with four testicles who does the thrillers, or the smarmy dork with the smarmy dork voice who does the comedies. Can someone explain this?
The best trailer of all time is this one for “The Shining”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dr4PHCeN1oM
No narration whatsoever, just absolutely chilling atmosphere, and you want to see the film immediately.
The only thing older than the “Not back in Kansas” line is evolution. Which I think is back in Kansas now but sometimes it’s not.
I like Kansas- Dust in the Wind and all.
joe, i’m sure you get lots of random recommendations all the time so feel free to ignore this one, BUT: you say you’ve never been much into sci-fi; i suggest you pick up a book by phillip k. dick (“man in the high castle” is a nice place to start). his books are quick reads, and like nothing else i’ve ever read. fwiw, hollywood can’t stop using him as source material (total recall, minority report, blade runner, paycheck, etc.) but nothing beats the real thing. kurt vonnegut & phil dick, and away you go.
Honest to God… Well I should start by saying that I did a semester abroad in Germany, and when someone asked where I was from (as i do whenever anyone asks) I just said Kansas (because I no longer feel the need to explain that there is in fact a Pittsburg in Kansas). So the very first person I met in a social gathering in Germany said… “Well you’re not in Kansas anymore.” And I cemented the American asshole assessment by replying very sarcastically… “Oh yeah, like I’ve never heard that one before.” I try to justify it with intense jet lag, because later I realized that though I had heard it a million times, that person probably never had the opportunity to use it before, and more than likely never will again.
I haven’t trusted trailers since taking my kids to a family adventure movie we’d seen the trailer of a week earlier — amazingly exciting and scary, out in the wilds of Alaska or the Yukon or somewhere, a man and three children (just like us!) trapped in a log cabin while a pack of ravenous wolves try to bust in. Wow! Had to convince the girls they wouldn’t be eaten alive in the movie theatre.
So to the movie. This guy and his kids spend the first 45 minutes tramping through feet-deep snow to reach the cabin; wolves show up, growl and scratch for a little while then trot off; family watches them go then spend the next 45 minutes tramping through feet-deep snow back to civilisation.
When talking about culture, how could you forget that White Castle began in (Wichita) Kansas. Although I am pretty sure there are no longer any locations in the state. White Castle is a classic part of American culture, so much so there has been a terrible movie made about it!
The book “Little House on the Prairie” took place primarily in Kansas. The television show of the same name took place in the location described in the book “On the Banks of Plum Creek,” which I think was in Minnesota.
Also as a correction and one of the most misquoted lines of cinematic history, the line from Casablanca is “Play it, Sam.”
Ilsa: Play it once, Sam. For old times’ sake.
Sam: [lying] I don’t know what you mean, Miss Ilsa.
Ilsa: Play it, Sam. Play “As Time Goes By.”
or …
Rick: You know what I want to hear.
Sam: [lying] No, I don’t.
Rick: You played it for her, you can play it for me!
Sam: [lying] Well, I don’t think I can remember…
Rick: If she can stand it, I can! Play it!
Speaking of “We’re not in Kansas anymore” and movies, Peter (Ron Livingston) read this line off of Joanna’s (Jennifer Aniston’s) flair in “Office Space!”
I’m a few days behind since had to get a new hard drive…
but for me, living in KC, the line I’m tired of hearing is:
“Get the h*ll out of Dodge” or variations thereof. Unless you’ve lived in Dodge or been there an extended period of time (at least a week) you have no license to use that phrase. You haven’t earned it!
I’ve earned it. Quite!
You don’t here the “Kansas” line here so much.
I’m a few days behind since had to get a new hard drive…
but for me, living in KC, the line I’m tired of hearing is:
“Get the h*ll out of Dodge” or variations thereof. Unless you’ve lived in Dodge or been there an extended period of time (at least a week) you have no license to use that phrase. You haven’t earned it!
I’ve earned it. Quite!
You don’t HEAR the “Kansas” line here so much.