The Tiger Trail
Posted: November 29th, 2009 | Filed under: Other Sports | 65 Comments »
This is going to sound very, very wrong … because, well, it is very, very wrong. But I’m sorry. I’ll admit this straight out: I am fascinated by this Tiger Woods accident story. I’m fascinated, and I’m paying close attention, and I will read whatever stories come out about it. Sure, I know it’s wrong. I know it’s gossip. I know it’s rubbernecking on a highway. I know. Tiger Woods and his family deserve some privacy in their lives. They should have the right to go on without having to share the most personal details of their lives. They should not have to deal with reporters and photographers stalking them. And so on. I believe these things with all my heart.
And still … I’ll read every word. I cannot help myself. I’m dying to know. But I suppose I should clarify — I’m not dying to know what really happened that night. I have a pretty good guess at that. No, I’m dying to know how Tiger Woods and his people are going to handle all this.
See, here’s the thing: Someday, mankind will invent a robot that can make birdies on every hole. I have no doubt in my mind about this. I don’t believe it will ever be fun to watch robots play football or baseball or basketball — there’s something physical about those sports that craves humanity. But golf is different. Because in golf, reaching a robotic level of perfection is the ultimate goal (see Hogan, Ben). Can you repeat your swing under pressure? Can you read the wind? Can you read the greens? Can you drain all the emotions from your body and make the big putt on the 18th green? These are the traits of the super-robot — and even now now the mind can imagine a golf-playing robot that will repeat the perfect swing every time, calculate the wind perfectly and will be have the sensors necessary to read every blade of grass on the green.
I believe that golf robot will be built sometime in the next 20 years, I really do. And, beyond the initial curiosity, I know that won’t care about it. I won’t have any interest in watching that robot stripe drive after drive, hit perfect shot after perfect shot, make putt after putt — it seems to me that’s not the interesting part of watching golf. The interesting part is the human part. The interesting part is watching Jean van de Velde blow up on 18. The interesting part is Arnold Palmer charging on the back nine. The interesting part is Tom Watson coming to 18 with a chance to pull off the greatest triumph in golf history and hitting his approach shot TOO WELL (is there another sport where doing something too well hurts you?). The interesting part is a 10-year-old boy with a poster of Jack Nicklaus on his wall and a dream of one day winning more major championships than Jack did.
That 10-year-old became Tiger Woods, and he has made his life mission — at least his public life mission — to (1) Win those 19 professional major championships; (2) Make a billion dollars; (3) Make sure people know as little about him as possible.
These are all perfectly reasonable goals, though they can conflict. Golf, we are told, is the most illuminating of sports. Corporate types talk all the time about how they want to play golf with clients or business partners or employees or adversaries in order to measure them — golf (they say) can tell you about a person’s composure, a person’s decision making skills, a person’s level of daring and so on. Billions of people have watched Tiger Woods play golf under the most extreme pressures, so you would think we have learned some things. And we have. He’s damned good at golf. Also, he swears a lot.
Then, for an athlete like Tiger Woods to make billions of dollars he needs to be in the public eye, as a spokesman for a company, as a star of commercials, as a person people can believe in and even love. You would think the person would need to show a little bit of himself — even if it’s fake and just a persona. People who knew Johnny Carson would often say he was nothing at all like the person who hosted the Tonight Show. That was a character he played when the camera lights popped on, night after night after night.
But Woods — well, remarkably, he really has not even created a public character for himself. He is, instead, a blank slate. People talk about how Michael Jordan was the first to create that blank slate — the “I am whatever you want me to be” form of sports celebrity — but I never thought that was quite true. Jordan had a persona — as a wisecracking basketball player who was not trying to change the world but was instead perfectly content to joke around with Spike Lee, play in a movie with Bugs Bunny and cut your heart out with a big shot in the final seconds. Later, he had the weird baseball period of his career*, and the gambling stories emerged, and he could not walk away from basketball, and he had that sad Hall of Fame speech. But the sense in his prime was that people KNEW Michael Jordan, even if they didn’t really know him at all.
*I know people have made fun of Michael Jordan as baseball player — and others were wildly offended by it — but I always loved that Jordan tried it. I don’t know all the reasons he did … maybe some of the conspiracy theories about it are true. But it seems clear that he wanted to see if he was good enough to play ball at the highest level. I think that’s a very human thing. Jordan was not good enough, or he started too late, or whatever. But he tried. And when I think back on Michael Jordan’s career, it’s probably my favorite thing about him.
Tiger is different. I don’t think anyone beyond his close circle really feels like they know Tiger Woods. And maybe even those people don’t know. Is he funny? Some say yes, but I’ve never really heard him say anything especially funny. Does he like talking about politics? Movies? Sports? Can he tell a story? Is he a good listener? Does he have interesting thoughts about faith? Does he get on the floor and play with his kids? Which Austin Powers movie did he think was funniest? Any of them? Is he happy or unhappy with the direction they are taking Jim and Pam on The Office? Does he put money on Free Parking when he’s playing Monopoly? Does he park near the entrance or exit when going to a Target? Who does he think writes better, Delillo, McCarthy or McDermott?
We don’t know. We know he was raised to play golf. We know he plays it better than anyone in the world. We know that he does not like cameras clicking during his backswing, and he has a remarkable ability to get himself out of golf danger, and he does not miss many important putts. We know he married a Swedish model, and they have two cute kids and a couple of dogs. We know that he is friends with Roger Federer, though what this means is really anyone’s guess since Federer is not exactly an open book himself.
Beyond these few tidbits, you can go to Tiger’s Web site and go to the “Did you know” section to find out more juicy details such as:
– Tiger’s alarm clock is set up at 5 a.m. sharp.*
*Do we really need the word “sharp” there? Do people often set their alarm clocks at 5:03 a.m.? The other day, we bought some oranges in Florida, and the salesman told us they were “completely seedless.” Did I need the word completely? How useful would “almost completely seedless” oranges be?
– His inspirations are his parents and Nelson Mandela. Think about how much inspiration there will be in the air if he takes his mother to see the movie “Invictus?”
– His perfect day would be a day he surfed, skied, played golf and went spear fishing. All in one day. So in other words, Tiger Woods perfect day is … pretty much any day he wants.
– His biggest challenge is to become a better person tomorrow.
– His favorite soundtrack — and this is by far my favorite answer — is “anything from ‘80s and early ‘90s.” I mean, you’re not even trying now. Really? ANYTHING from the ‘80s or early ‘90s would be his favorite soundtrack. “Hey, what’s your favorite soundtrack?” “Oh, I don’t know, it’s like ‘Purple Rain’ or ‘Weird Science” or ‘Amadeus’ or ‘Electric Boogaloo’ or ‘Chariots of Fire’ or ‘Eddie and the Cruisers’ or ‘Schindler’s List,’ or, you know, the music from that one with the guy from that thing, you remember?” … Plus, what kind of question is that in the first place. Your favorite soundtrack?
Point is: Tiger’s life is not any of your business or my business or anyone else’s business. And that’s cool. That’s his right. But, here’s the thing: He plays golf. He does commercials. And people still want to know. We want to know because we are invested in him. We won’t spend hours and hours on weekends watching the birdie-making computer play golf. We won’t buy Cadillacs because the robot drives them. We won’t care if he uses the American Express card. We won’t point the robot out to our children. We won’t be put little furry robots on our drivers.
I suppose that Tiger Woods is as good at playing golf as anyone in the world is at doing what they do. He is as good at golf as Springsteen is at performing, as Auster is at writing, as Streep is at acting, as Jobs is at predicting the next big thing. But it’s the humanness behind all that that makes him interesting. How does someone get so good at something.
All of which brings us back to the beginning: Earlier this week, word spread that Tiger Woods was in a car accident. At first, I guess, there were all these rumors about it being serious and so on. Soon, though, it became apparent that it was not too serious. And then a few details leaked out. Nobody could be too sure about the details — but the reports said that Woods was out at 2:30 a.m., the one-car accident was near his house, there was no alcohol involved. Weird. Then, more details, apparently his wife Elin was the first to the scene — she heard the accident — and she saved him by pulling him from the car. And then, word emerged that she had pulled him from the car after breaking a back car window with a golf club. Maybe both back car windows. Reports conflicted.
And then, police were asked to come back to talk to Tiger later because he was sleeping. When they came back the next day, they were told to wait another day. When the came back the next day, they were told Tiger was not talking.
Oh yeah — this should probably be mentioned too: There was a report in the National Enquirer just two days earlier (and it’s the National Enquirer, so you can make your own judgments) — that Tiger Woods was caught cheating with Rachel Uchitel, who, the Enquirer so eloquently called “The New York City party girl.”* The party girl has denied it, but yeah, that is in the air too.
*I like this part too, from their follow up story: “The Enquirer’s blockbuster cover story was verified with polygraphs, multiple sources and an on-the-record interview with one of Rachel’s friends.” Polygraphs? Really?
To be honest, I don’t find much of this too interesting. I can probably piece together in my mind a version of what happened that night. Maybe it’s right, maybe it’s wrong, but I just tend to make presumptions about 2:30 a.m. car accidents with windows broken by wives swinging golf clubs shortly after the National Enquirer claims the husband had an affair. It’s one of my many flaws. Anyway, I try not to make judgments about how people I don’t know live their lives. I have enough work to do back home.
What I do find interesting — endlessly interesting — is how Tiger Woods handles this. He has always been able to so carefully control his image. And now, well, this is out of his control. And he knows it. Sure, he can ask for privacy — as he did in a statement on his Web site — but he must know that for this is public gruel now. This is the first time in a long time that something big about Tiger Woods has been revealed without Tiger Woods officially endorsing it. And when it comes to the world’s greatest golfer, people will grab for something real.
That’s the weird part of the media world today. There are voices attacking us from all sides. There is more coverage of sports and politics and entertainment and business and everything else than ever before. But so little of it is real. So little of it has any substance, any meaning. “What’s your favorite sountrack?” “Oh, anything from the ‘80s or early ‘90s.” Just like that.
Well, here was this moment in Tiger Woods’ life, a painful moment, an intensely private moment that ran naked into the public square. Something real. So now what? How will he handle this? What will we learn about him in the process? Will he stick with the wife-saved-him-with-golf-clubs story? Will he pretend it never happened? Will he sue the National Enquirer? Will he go on Oprah? What does Tiger Woods do when the story gets away from him?
I know I shouldn’t — but I’ll be following along.
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Circle me, Florida state police offer. But, uh, not today. Or tomorrow.
Officer. Got a little excited there. And, yes, I share your guilty fascination with this story.
Hilarious! And yes, the possibility that Elin Woods chased her husband down the driveway in her PJ’s, with a nine-iron, causing him to lose control of his Escalade, as his eyes were bulging out of head looking into his rear view mirror, just kills me every time I think about it.
It won’t be easy to erect the wall to make this one go away. Although ESPN isn’t following it with the fervor of, say, a Brett Favre offseason retirement/unretirement rumor.
This is a really interesting piece. I am especially intrigued by the comments about us (audience) becoming invested in Tiger. I imagine the same goes for other celebrities. That makes a lot of sense to me. It helps to explain my own fascination with such stories. I am trying to decide if there is a relationship between what I know of the celebrity, how invested I am, and how much I “rubberneck.”
Tiger will ignore this til it goes away. If someone asks him questions about it from the media, Tiger will no longer talk to them. He still controls the image if he says absolutely nothing. Once he asks for forgiveness from the public he’s going down a road he doesn’t want to. At this point, the public is just speculating and it will die down.
As a sidenote, it’s nice to see the man is human.
I can probably piece together in my mind a version of what happened that night.
Indeed. Sometimes a story can be complicated, and other times it can be pretty simple. I’m leaning pretty heavily towards the latter, here.
I was at a nightclub in Las Vegas when I noticed a bit of a congregation forming. Vegas nightclubs are packed tighter than sardines so it’s fairly difficult to distinguish one crowd from the crowded masses, but this one was different as it involved a bunch of people pointing in the same direction. I looked over and noticed that the crowd was pointing at Derek Jeter and Tiger Woods, who were standing at a booth which sat adjacent to the dance floor. I didn’t want to gawk, but that was a pretty good celebrity pairing that just magically appeared so I stood next to a rail overlooking the booth and peered for a spell. What I remembered was thinking that Derek Jeter looked as if he was the smoothest player in the city that night, smiling easily and generally seeming as if he was having a genuine good time (and I’m not much of a Jeter fan but the guy looked like he was enjoying being Derek Jeter as much as somebody should enjoy being Derek Jeter). Tiger on the other hand couldn’t have appeared more uncomfortable. He just seemed out of place, almost claustrophobic. I didn’t spend much time watching “the show” but I did think to myself that Tiger probably didn’t spend much time hanging out in clubs or “with the masses”. Not sure why or even if it’s apropos to anything, but this post reminded me of that encounter, as up until now it had basically escaped from my memory.
ah the celebrity life.
must be nice to tell the cops, investigating something you were involved in, that you’re “sleeping” and then “not talking.”
re: the soundtrack question
It’s not necessarily a movie soundtrack. I understood that in the general “music is the soundtrack of our lives sense;” i.e., what Tiger would like to listen to on his perfect day. So it’s even more vague than Joe thinks.
As important as both privacy and his immaculate image are to Tiger, he still was willing to utterly sacrifice them for an affair.
Or, perhaps, he was driven to sacrifice them, to be free of his impossibly perfect and non-existent persona. What a prison.
Yes, I’m tongue in cheek. Mostly. Sort of.
The irony is too rich, though.
“ah the celebrity life.
must be nice to tell the cops, investigating something you were involved in, that you’re “sleeping” and then “not talking.””
There is no legal requirement for him to speak with state police officers in this case. It was a 1 person traffic collision with no influence of alcohol. As is stated many times the cops are actually looking to see his injuries to see if Elin’s story was false. He is not required to a) cooperate in an investigation that could incriminate his spouse, or b) cooperate in an investigation where he is not seeking assault charges.
[...] Joe Posnanski » Blog Archive » The Tiger Trail [...]
Onstar:
“Hello Mr. Woods, how can we help you?
Tiger:
“I’ve been in a crash.”
Onstar:
“Are you hurt? We’ll call the authorities.”
Tiger:
“Just call my wife. She’s trying to break my rear window with a golf club, but she’s using a 1-iron. Tell her that’s the wrong club. She needs a WEDGE!”
Does anyone else find posts like 3, 5, 7, 14, 16 and 18 as annoying as I do? Is it possible to ban them? It seems to me like they’re from people trying to drive traffic to their blogs and it’s just pure noise as far as I’m concerned.
Can we just pause the story at the point where Elin is running down the driveway in her PJ’s and just ignore the rest?
The buick people seemed to have lucked out.
I’m confused. maybe somebody can help me out. if the cops dont have to talk to him because he WASNT drunk, how did they know he wasnt drunk without talking to him. isn’t a breathalyser some kind of protocol at 230 am or is it just because he was on his property. Im not saying he was drunk. I just dont get it.
Joe, I too am fascinated how the Tiger camp will handle this.
It’s clear they’re in MAJOR spin mode…as evidenced in this nugget from Tiger’s official statement:
“The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.”
Yeah, Tiger. Okay Tiger.
Ha!
What’s with the spam at 3, 5, 7, 14, 16 and 18? Any way to control this crap?
I heard Tiger was on his way out to pick up a pizza. The pizza place only delivered until 2am, so he had to go pick it up. His wife, apparently, wanted mushroom and onion on the pizza but Tiger refused because he doesn’t tolerate onions very well late at night. He told her he would get two pizzas instead, which upset her because they were a married couple, not two single people. Why can’t they share a pizza? So she ran after him and broke his window with the 9 iron, intending to tell Tiger that she would share the ham and pineapple pizza he preferred. Unfortunately, breaking the rear window of the car distracted Tiger and he crashed. It’s a heartwarming tale, really. It’s just too bad that the Woods’ never got their pizza that night.
And even as I sent that last message, I see it has been deleted. Good work.
Joe, love the post. Except I care both about how the story develops from here and what actually happened in the house that night. What’s wrong with a little purience? And besides being one of the most prominent endorsers in the world, Tiger and the media have gone to extreme lengths to paint him as an exemplary human being when in reality he appears to be an ass.
A couple of points on why FHP needs to continue the investigation:
the domestic violence issue is relevant. What if Tiger had been supposedly hitting Elin with a golf club before she got into her car?
lying to the police should never be condoned and if they have reason to believe they were lied to, they should investigate.
was Tiger impaired when he got behind the wheel (prescription drugs have been mentioned in some reports)?
@ Paul O. (#15) Uh…what’s wrong with post #7? Also, you reference posts #16 and #18…AFTER you posted as #15. Something doesn’t add up here…
Same goes for you, B.S. Blues (#19). Other than #7, those posts are certainly humorous, but lighten up. Woods is not hurt. His wife is not hurt. The affair story is probably made up. I don’t see why we have to be so damn serious about this.
I wonder if Elin got advice from Brenna Cepalek (the girl that took a 9-iron to Nick Faldo’s Porsche) on which club to use.
I feel sorry for Tiger and (especially) Elin. It must suck to live in a fishbowl like that.
@23, those posts used to be spam (like the current #13 post) until they were deleted. Unless I’m confused and Paul O. can see into the future.
Joe, the only problem with this post is that I think you are underestimating robots of the future. They are going to be awesome and interesting.
Probably much more interesting than Tiger Woods.
Although I’d be surprised if they could play golf as well as him in the next 20 years.
I am completely serious.
[...] By Andrew I’m just curious about something. There were some complaints in the comment section of Joe Posnanski’s latest post about some humorous takes on the Tiger Woods crash from a few days ago. You can read that if you [...]
The first thing that popped into my mind was a scene from the Simpson’s parodying Terminator 2 where Homer runs after Flanders’ car swinging a golf club. He uses it to pull himself onto the car while Flanders’ eyes bulge out of his head.
I often set my alarm at odd times. 5:03 is a favorite. I get out of the house at about the same time and have the mental benefit of 3 extra minutes of sleep.
Think about the affair – most men, if they think of having an affair will probably fantasize about a woman who is, say, a Swedish supermodel.
So, if you’re married to the Swedish supermodel, who do you fantasize about? A NY “party girl”? What a weird life he must lead.
#23: Those posts were spam until Pos or someone else deleted them. Until recently, they weren’t too numerous among the comments here, but they are, I think, some form of automated link to blogs and other sites, and an attempt to attract attention/page views. You can still see an example at #13.
Also #27.
this has nothing to do with the tiger woods’ situation, but until joe posts something on the SI sportsman of the year, there’s nowhere else for me to ask:
how on earth did derek jeter win it???
joe, i don’t suppose you’ll resign over this, but i hope you can at least write a dissenting opinion piece.
jeter shouldn’t even be top 3 in his own sport, much less beating out all of the athletes in every other sport.
how about making a poll question out of it?
(be sure to include manny pacquiao)
@ Paul O. (#31) Yes, they are intended to get viewers to visit those websites. #27 is actually my own blog that pinged back to this comment section because I linked to it.
Correction, they were actually trackbacks, not pingbacks. Still sounds similar to me, though.
Should have included this in the previous post as well (sorry, this ends my 3 consecutive posts). I did not trackback to this on purpose, it’s just that WordPress automatically does it, at least to my knowledge.
Sorry for sounding cranky in my first post, by the way.
@#33
Calvin, can’t Jeter win one award in peace? This is the SI Sportsman of the year award. Whether you agree or not, he won many baseball awards this year, including the Aaron, and Clemente awards. He also performed well in helping his team win the World Series. The man takes nothing off the table when it comes to his team and sport, and gives credit to his parents at every turn.
I’m not saying you can’t have your own opinion, but mine is that if there is one award he may truly deserve, it’s SPORTSMAN of the year.
I too am probably more interested in how Tiger’s camp handles the situation as compared to learning the details of what happened that night.
After years of the media happily tearing a new one for many a celebrity who have run afoul, I think Tiger is going to be the one who steps up and basically dares the media to keep pushing the story.
Think about it. Without Tiger, tournament purses would be 1/2 what they are, tv ratings would be a 1/3 what they are. This isn’t to say that Tiger would stop playing, but he certainly could stop giving the ESPNs, NBCs and CBSs of the world access.
Last point is I totally understand the decision to opt to not speak with the cops. If I saw a police department giving every nugget of information to the media, I wouldn’t want to give them anything else to press release.
When I hear or read about things like this that don’t result in serious injury, I generally just move along quickly.
But not this time, and not because it’s Tiger either. This time it is clearly not “just an accident.” This time the police almost certainly should be doing some kind of investigation and they are being met with a stone wall of silence.
If the Fl law is structured to allow people causing accidents not involving other people to avoid answering questions, it is wrong and should be corrected. If it is not so structured, then the police should not be allowing Tiger to duck their questions.
And, unlike so many media stories I’ve seen Where was he going at that time of night?” is not of all that much importance.
“How in hell did you hit both a fire hydrant and a neighbor’s tree while navigating your own driveway?” is one that should be asked.
As is “how did you get so hurt when your air bag didn’t deploy?
And “Excuse me maam but why exactly did you use a golf club on the rear window? and maybe “Were you trying to hit your husband?
Because this is so clearly more than a minor accident; at the least it is some form of domestic abuse and it deserves a few (intelligent) questions getting asked.
#38, I think the argument can be made that “the media” has nothing to lose by pushing the story.
it’s not like they get any access to him now as it is.
I can’t decide if someone that makes tens of millions a year telling me what to buy owes me a public life, or not. Frankly, I find the whole fascination with celebrities odd. I’ve never understood why we care about famous peoples’ lives in any detail.
Driving around at 2:30 am and then awakes at 5:00 am sharp. Maybe he really is a robot.
[...] I’ll admit this straight out: I am fascinated by this Tiger Woods accident story. I’m fascinated, and I’m paying close attention, and I will read whatever stories come out about it. Sure, I know it’s wrong. I know it’s gossip. … <more> [...]
I don’t begrudge you your own personal prurient interest, Joe, but why do you need to be part of the media frenzy?
[...] Posnanski says he’s fascinated to see how Tiger — the ultimate blank slate, jealously protective of his privacy — will handle the [...]
You know, we may never know what exactly happened, but if:
1) Tiger and his wife were having a domestic dispute and if
2) The dispute became phsyical with her as the instigator and if
3) To try to diffuse the situation, he was leaving the house (which is pretty much the only choice a man has in a situation where his wife is physically assaulting him, at least the only choice he has that doesn’t involve him getting hurt or arrested) and if
4)While he was leaving she continued the assault, which distracted him from driving properly and caused his accident THEN
He is being quite the mensch right now I would say. Taking the complete blame so that his spouse doesn’t get arrested.
Just for the record, I always set my alarm clock for somewhat unusual times. Were I a morning person (I most certainly am not), I would set it for 5:03AM, or something like that. It is currently set for 8:12AM.
And one final comment on why Tiger would not be forthcoming with the truth, if in fact, his wife assaulted him, I don’t think she is a citizen of the U.S., which means if she were convicted of felonious assault, the mother of his children would be deported.
@37
a lot of guys helped their team win a championship this year, though i don’t think that should be a real determining factor (yes, i know that at SI, it often is).
i’m sure jeter is just as big a sweetheart as everyone says, but should ‘giving credit to his parents’ win him a major award???
it’s not that he’s the worst choice in the world, but he’s a pandering selection, one intended to make a few thousand more people buy a magazine issue they might otherwise not have. SI is a magazine, i know, and they’re in business to sell copies, i just would’ve preferred a more inspired choice.
Some folks have been saying this little contretemps is none of the cops’ or the media’s business.
I respectfully disagree.
You’ve got possible domestic violence and DUI* here, as well as insurance claims to investigate.
*It’s been said that Woods is taking prescription drugs of some sort that might have impaired his driving or his actions.
As for the media, Tiger Woods is news. He gets paid bajillions of dollars a year from his sponsors, so what he does is of public interest — if you take the big money, you leave yourself open to the big exposé.
So if he’s cheating on his wife and she commits assault and battery on him, that’s a big story. Don’t believe me? Ask Alex Rodriguez and Roger Clemens all about it.
@49
Again, this is “Sportsman” of the year. It’s totally subjective.
In 56 years there’s never been a Yankee as the winner, but this year they are pandering to sell more copies?
Derek Jeter may or may not be the greatest/most valuable hitter/defender/player, but he fits Sportsman of the Year pretty darn well in my opinion.
The only reason I replied to your comment in the first place is because it reeked of “OMG Derek Jeter won another underserved award, please Joe, tear him down so that everyone can see him for what he really is, an overpaid egomaniac that happens to play on a bought championship team!!!”
Here’s an inspired choice “Eunice Kennedy Shriver as a posthumous Sportswoman of the Year, since her work to literally create the Special Olympics was fantastic (she passed away in August).” (h/t Sam Borden from the LoHud blog.) I wouldn’t have had a problem with her being chosen.
Again, since he really needs me to defend him, I just think sometimes he just can’t win anything without someone, you in this case, jumping on him BECAUSE he’s Derek Jeter and plays for the Yankees.
/sorry everyone for being so off-topic, uh color me setting my clock 13 minutes fast so I can trick my brain every morning by forcing it to do math.
I feel the need to be on-topic.
I think this is very simple and it’s the answer to one of your questions. “Will he pretend it didn’t happen?” The answer is “yes”. There is absolutely no reason for Tiger or his wife to ever comment on this.*
With no more breaking news this will fade away. When he comes back into the public, somewhere between 10 and 100 “I’m not talking about that, ask me about golf” and the story dies.
There is absolutely nothing for them to gain, and much to lose by speaking out at this point. Someone once said, “it’s better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.”
*This is contingent on the fact that there were no witnesses and nothing comes out of a blood test.
I wake up at 6:13. Why? because 6:10 is fricken early, man.
@51: 13 minutes fast is for amatuers. My clock is set 43 to 47 minutes fast.
@ Juancho #50: Tiger surely won’t be filing an insurance claim…it will come out of petty cash.
@51 & 54: I use 23 minutes….It drives my wife crazy on the weekends because I just keep doing the math and hitting snooze.
What I don’t understand is why Tiger just didn’t admit that he was rushing to Walmart for the Black Friday 3 a.m. opening to replace their 50″ plasma TV because Elin had been practicing in the media room and put a golf ball through their TV. As he left she was running after him to tell him to make sure he gets a Sony.
Everyone should calm down and wait for Charles Barkley to comment. He’ll tell us what to think.
“Electric Bugaloo?? Don’t get me wrong, it’d be a helluva movie, but…
joe,
love the post. are you an auster fan? i wonder what you think of james wood’s review of his fiction in the latest new yorker.
http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2009/11/30/091130crbo_books_wood
i’ve sort of always felt this about auster – that he’s been jeterated for being a master stylist for way too long.
Kent @ 56: I laughed out loud. Good one.
BTW, can you get a DUI if you are on private property? Not sure how the FL law is worded (do you have to be on a public thoroughfare before the law applies?) and also not sure if Tiger ever made it to the street, but if he didn’t, then the only criminal charges from the vehicular accident would be possible criminal trespass into his neighbor’s yard (with the car)
Have you read the NY Post story on the alleged “other woman”? http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/the_night_that_my_life_spun_o5oYvhdiiYINolBBteiOFL
At the risk of being naive: I actually believe her.
Read the story. It’s basically just a transcript. It’s not a tightly-scripted statement from a flack. The comments are so rambling and unfocused that they feel true to me. There’s a good bit of detail there.
Maybe she’s just a phenomenal liar, but the story does make some sense. If you work in a NYC club VIP room you’re going to encounter a lot of celebrities and a lot of scumbags.
My alarm is never set to a 5 or a 0, I just can’t get up then. Usually its :03 or :44, but I’ve been known to use :22 as well. Yeah its a little strange, but so is not stepping on the foul lines
Actually, I do set my clock for something like 6:13 or 6:04. I don’t know why. Even numbers seem fascist.
I’m sorry Joe, but you just can’t use 0 or 30 as the ending number for the alarm clock. I wake up at Dimagio / Ruth (5:03). The coffee pot is programed to start at Gehrig / Aaron (4:44) so it will be fresh as soon as I head downstairs. If I need to warm my bagel, I type in Maddux (31) on the microwave. I’m not 42 years old; I’m Jackie Robinson’s number.