These Guys Really Are Good
Posted: October 22nd, 2009 | Filed under: Other Sports | 70 Comments »
While getting ready for Game 5 of this ALCS … here’s a little thought about golf. I’ve actually had this in the can for a couple of weeks. Seems like a perfectly good time to throw it out there.
I’ve written here before that I don’t play golf. But I write quite a bit about golf. This provides a rather flawed perspective about the game.
The only golf I ever see is the very best golfers on the very best courses in the very best tournaments. That’s it. I watch Tiger Woods at Augusta. I watch Phil Mickelson at the Pinehurst No. 2. I watch Ernie Els at Muirfield. I watch Tom Watson at Pebble Beach. In this world where I live, there are no shanks. No snap hooks. Players don’t putt the ball off of greens. When these sorts of crazy things DO happen, they are so out of character that they baffle the imagination … like when you see a pro bowler throw a gutterball or an NBA player miss an open dunk.
In this insular world of golf where I live, a 100-pitch shot is easy — you should get the ball within 10 feet. A good lie in the sand trap means a pretty sure up-and-down. A creek 200 yards from the tee is not in play. A 20-foot putt is very makable.
I never think much about these things. After all, as a sportswriter I’m lucky enough to be around the excellence of sports. The best baseball players. The best football players. The best basketball players, hockey players, tennis players, boxers, thoroughbred horses, race car drivers and so on. But there’s really a difference between those sports and golf for me. I grew up playing most of these sports – I know how hard they are to play. No matter how many times I see a quarterback make a perfect pass an instant before he gets crushed by two linebackers, no matter how many times I see a hitter crack a line drive single on a 94-mph fastball, no matter how many times I see someone make a 22-foot jumper with a hand in his face, I appreciate how hard it is to do. And most of the sports I did not play are quite obviously challenging … no one needs to explain to me the various difficulties of boxing against a 240-pound man with a sledgehammer right hand or driving a car 200 mph or riding Perfect Drift into the homestretch.
But golf … golf looks easy. That is at the very core of the sport’s charm. It looks so easy — anyone can do it easy. Take a stick. Hit a ball. Walk after it … or drive a cart. Cut a business deal. Drink a beer. Talk about old times. Hit the ball again. Everything is beautiful. Trees surround you. Flowers. The smell of cut grass. You are on the green. You’ve got a putter that’s has more brainpower than the computers they used at NASA to send Neil Armstrong to the moon. Line it up. Knock it in.
Of course, I know intellectually that golf is not easy. I know this from my own truncated efforts to play. After all, the last time I played a round of golf was when I worked for the Augusta Chronicle in 1992, and they foolishly allowed me to play at Augusta National, and then immediately changed to the rules to make sure that no one like me would ever play the course again.
And I also know this from my reporting on the game. I know how hard golfers work at this game. I have watched them batter shot after shot on the driving range and practice for hours on the green. I know this game is savage and difficult … but I forget. It’s so easy to for me to forget. When I write about golf, I write about perfection … or at least what golf announcers call perfection. “That was a PERFECT shot, Johnny.” “What a perfect putt that was Jim.” “He put himself in perfect position, Ian.” I’m always vaguely aware that there’s a big, wide, beautiful world out there of golfers popping their drives and scorching their chip shots over the green. But I never think much about them.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, I found myself at the Jimmie Johnson charity golf tournament in San Diego. As an aside, the next day I found myself in the green room of The Tonight Show, where Jimmie Johnson was a guest along with — get this — Christian Slater and The Backstreet Boys. Life is funny*.
*But the George Lopez commercials are not.
This week, I found myself in Dallas at a Sports Illustrated golf event featuring Tom Watson. Both times, I was in a cart going hole to hole, watching amateurs play golf, and it hit me hard, something like an epiphany: Wow, golf is hard. Sure, that should be blatantly obvious, I know that, but golf is REALLY hard. Here were men and women — mostly men — who had expensive clubs and expensive shoes and had undoubtedly taken many expensive lessons. They were muttering mantras to themselves as they hit — keep the left arm straight, go slow on the backswing, shift your weight — and they were hitting ludicrous shots. I mean, these golfers were trying really, really hard, and they were hitting balls that sliced 100 yards left, hitting balls that hooked dead into the trees, hitting wedge shots that dribbled 13 feet before stopping, hitting touchy little chip shots that soared over greens.
“Can you spot my ball,” one golfer said, at which point he promptly topped his drive and hit it maybe 20 yards.
“I’ve spotted it,” his three partners said in unison, the second oldest joke in the joke golfing book*.
*The oldest joke has something to do with Jesus playing golf. I believe the first version of it was in Philippians.
I think that, in this way, that of all fans and all spectators, golf fans (who are inevitably golfers) have the most unique relationship to their spor. After all, it has been a while since most of us adults have played competitive baseball or shoulder-pad football. Weekend basketball and hockey are fun but entirely dissimilar — you are not shooting over Dwight Howard or getting banged into the boards by Raitis Ivanas. It’s hard to feel the competition.
But in golf, you can come pretty close to simulating what they’re doing out there. The pressure is different, and their courses probably are set up harder, and so on but it’s more the same than it is different. When you hit an impossibly great shot — a hole-in-one or a ridiculously long chip-in or whatever — you know that for that one instant you have just played the sport as well as anyone in the entire world could have played it. You ARE Tiger Woods. And the rest of the time, when you’re popping up drives and ramming putts 40 feet past the hole and hooking shots into The Lost Ball Forest, you understand Tiger Woods.
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Truncated. Love it.
When I hit my one and only hole in one (In a round that wound up about 117) I distinctly remember NOT feeling like Tiger but as your posts suggest, realizing in that moment that I will never, ever be Tiger and that this game (golf) would kill me should I actually try and become “good at it”.
I’ve been playing for like 10-15 years now, and, yeah, golf is freaking hard. I can’t, for the life of me, figure out how to make my drive go straight. It always slices. However, I have gotten pretty good at minimizing the slice and making it work for me. I doubt that’s something you’ll ever hear on the PGA Tour: “You know, that Tiger Woods is really good at making his horrific slice work for him. Watch as the ball hooks around the tree in the OB area and curves all the way back into the fairway. Incredible.”
Oh, and yes, George Lopez…not funny. And his commercials just illustrate this. But I guess TBS just kinda has to work with what it has access to.
Circle me, Y.E. Yang
No, no. Circle me a fool
Along the same lines, I’ve always marveled at the fact that these (umm, us) weekend hackers continue to play despite never really improving. I’ve said it would be like someone who plays tennis hitting every fourth of fifth ball over the fence, necessitating them putting down their racket, schlepping out to get the ball and returning to play. Who plays tennis this way? Nobody. They’d quit after one day. But there are plenty of golfers who spend as much time looking for stray shots as they do actually playing.
Those golfers you saw need to watch Tin Cup and go with the “grip it and rip it” philosophy.
I haven’t played a round of golf in about five years now, but after reading this I kind of want to.
Tim Tebow, Moses and I decide to get cranked to the gills on a bottle of Blackberry Brandy, and decide to go hit the links. So, Timmy keeps shanking his drive on the third into the drink, and gets Moses to part the water so he could get his ball back. After the third time, Moses refuses to do so again, so Tim starts walking on the water and looking down to find his ball again. I look at
Moses and say, “Jesus!! Who does he think he is??”
/rimshot
/silence
/sad trombone
Oldest golf joke:
Ball falls off the tee, playing partner says, “1″
I thought the oldest golf joke was about the guy who held his 1-iron up in the air during a thunderstorm. His friends thought he was crazy, but he explained “Even God can’t hit a 1-iron!”
Ba-dum-bum.
Q,
When I slice, it’s always because my hands are moving faster then my hips. It took me years to figure that out; and now sometimes I don’t slice. Of course, when I don’t slice I usually overcompensate with my hips and get a nasty hook… Golf is hard.
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so what distinguishes golf from bowling?
nick said at 1:05 pm on October 22nd, 2009:
so what distinguishes golf from bowling?
Answer: In bowling your bad shots roll right back to you!
My son will be 14 in two weeks, which means he thinks he knows everything in the world. As if that weren’t bad enough, he also happens to be three inches taller than me already and a naturally gifted athlete. He’s already a better baseball player than I ever was (despite the fact that baseball is the one sport at which I was actually pretty good), he’s a gifted basketball player, a natural hurdler in track, etc. I am both proud and humiliated watching him do things at 13 that I either can’t do anymore or never could.
So when he asked to go to the driving range with me to hit a bucket of balls earlier this summer, something he had never done in his life, I was fully prepared for him to pick of a driver and hit the damn ball 200 yards dead center. It wouldn’t have surprised me in the least.
Having never swung a golf club, he needed some instruction, so I hit a few balls first to show him the general technique, tell him how it differed from his baseball swing, etc. As bad a golfer as I am, I can still manage to hit a few straight 7-irons on the range without embarrassing myself, and I did on that day.
Eventually he’d seen all he thought he needed, so he picked up a club, squared himself to the ball…and took the worst swing in the history of golf. Whiff.
Red-faced, he tried again, another whiff. Now he was taking a few glances around the range to see if anyone was watching. I assured him no one was looking, and no one would be laughing anyway because everyone there knew it was hard to hit a golf ball. So he kept trying, and though he did finally make contact on most of his swings, the results were pretty lousy, just like everyone else’s results on their first day with a golf club in their hands. Meanwhile, I was smart enough to stick with my trusty 7-iron throughout my entire bucket, lobbing mostly high, straight pitches 120 yards downrange while he flailed away with little success.
So yeah, golf is hard, as he found out that day. Still, I won’t lie and say that it wasn’t nice to have an opportunity to let him know that sometimes you have to put in a lot of effort to be good at something, and that his fat old man might still know a few things that he doesn’t. And that there might still be a few sports where he can’t beat me.
(Yet.)
#14 – Bowling involves more drinking.
Paul,
My son is 7 and can beat me at HORSE. Basketball was never my sport.
I know dads always want to have the upper hand with their sons but we should earn their respect while we demand it.
Good article Joe. Golf is like many other sports where the competition is ‘athlete on a course’. For example, there’s skiing and running. Anyone can go out and ski on Olympic courses, but most are not whipping down the mountain at 60 mph. For road running, marathoners can get out and run on the same course at the same time as the elite athletes of the sport.
I can personally attest that Curling belongs in this category too. Every time the Winter Olympics comes around, curling becomes a national joke. However, if you’ve ever actually tried it you would find that it is WAY harder than it looks. Pool/billiards might also fit in this category.
My first time at a driving range I whiffed on at least my first 20 tries, then hit a slow grounder up the middle.
There have been times on the golf course when I have gotten extremely frustrated with a particular shot(s), and believe it or not may have uttered a word or two not suitable for a family blog. In those moments, it has helped me tremendously to remind myself that I’m simply not good enough to warrant getting mad over a poor shot.
Golf is hard.
As usual, a major media figure totally ignores running
Running is the perfect example of what you’re talking about. Almost everyone has run at one time or another in their lives, even if they haven’t kept up with it. The best runners make it look smooth and easy, but most people labor extensively, and many give up because of the pain and difficulty.
In almost every world-class road road running event, and in many track events, the best runners compete directly with the unwashed masses. I run the exact same Boston Marathon as the Kenyans. Unfortunately for me, it would be a major success if I were to finish within an hour of the winning time. But if a mystery runner was capable, he could jump in to a major event and win. There’s no chance of that happening in a PGA tournament.
I’m sure golf is really very hard (I’ve never bothered to try) but I’ve always figured you see so many amateur players fail at it because so many more amateurs try to play it than other sports. If as many middle aged men tried to stand in the box and hit a major league fastball, imagine how much harder baseball would look.
I don’t know which are worse………this year’s George Lopez spots or last year’s FrankTV ones.
I’ve never golfed. The one and only time I went out to a pitch-and-putt (nine holes, par 27), I snap-sliced my first shot perpendicular to the direction of the hole. At least it was straight.
So, yeah… on the second hole, I crank the durned thing to within three feet and sink the birdie putt. Now I know why the other three guys wanted to stuff me into a ball washer. And after the round was over and I handed in my 70, I wanted to let them. (You’ve heard of triple bogey? I think I bogey-squared one hole.)
I haven’t hit the links since, but I still kind of want to. The problem is finding lefty clubs, and also cursing like a drunken Teamster on strike.
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Golf is a good walk ruined.
It’s also the crack cocaine of pastimes, turning otherwise sensible people into fanatics.
The professional form does make for fascinating TV, though, about as good as it gets; with the added advantage of being impervious to bad umpiring.
I was tempted out of my lounge chair a few years ago to attend a tournament in person. Brother, it’s a long way from the sanitised televised version. Watching the players warm up on the practice putting green, I have never been so close to so many grim-faced, driven, focused, fixated people. I’ve yet to attend a who-do-we-whack-next meeting of Cosa Nostra, but I reckon I’ve had a grounding in case it ever happens. I didn’t have to be told to not speak out of turn.
And a golfing friend once told me that anyone who yelled out “shank” on the professionals’ driving range pre-tournament would meet pretty much the same fate as Julius Caesar on March 15 way back when — nine-irons instead of knives, of course.
The appeal of marathoning is very similar to the golf — maybe even more. You’re doing exactly what the best in the world are doing — same course, same conditions. You really understand how great they are, especially if the course has a curves, hills, or switchbacks and you see the leaders in action.
The Tour de France is a similar thing too. Watch Lance Armstrong ride up Alpe d’Huez on TV, and it looks unremarkable. Stand at the foot of it yourself and you wonder how these guys get more than half a mile without having to get off and push!
Sheesh. Thanks for mailing one in Joe. Wow, golf is hard, pro golfers are good, and since golf is not really a blood-and-guts sport, average people can experience what pros experience with good shots … breaking new ground here.
Golf is not a difficult game, just a technical one. If one starts at a young age, receives thousands of hours of instruction, and has enough $$$ for equipment, lessons, tee times, etc. … there’s no reason why the person can’t be a serviceable player.
MrMJ is my new hero.
Ray C @ 22: I thought many gave up running because they got a learners permit?
I apologize for the long post, but golf is the bane of my sporting life, so here goes:
MrMJ: “Golf is not a difficult game, just a technical one.”
You just said that if people
1. start at a young age.
2. receive thousands of hours on instruction.
they can be “serviceable.”
That kind of defines a “difficult sport.”
And you’re wrong, you can do all those, and still suck. I sure as hell do.
I am admittedly not a Bo Jackson, not even a poor man’s Bo Jackson, but I was one of the better all-around athletes of my age cohort growing up. Baseball, basketball came naturally. Played them in high school. Played tennis in high school. One season I played volleyball just for the heck of it. I surpassed my dad in just about every sport by the time I was 13 or so. And it always felt great to “own him” at something new.
Got a little older, have run a few marathons (slowly). No problem (well, once I discovered NipGuards and decided I didn’t really “need” toenails). Joined a bowling league and bowled some 200+ games. No big deal. I’m not saying this to toot my own horn, because I’m not a great athlete at any sport. I was never a star in anything in high school. But I am above-average, and sometimes well above-average, at just about sport I’ve ever been interested in–often without a ton of effort.
But I’ve been trying to golf since I was about 8. I’ve had a club membership. I’ve taken lessons. I golfed every single day one summer at home from college. I’ve played 36 holes in a day, many times. I have 2 family members who are club pros that have tried (and will continue to try) to straighten me out. I’ve spend thousands of dollars at driving ranges. I’ve played thousands of rounds in my life. I have nice clubs.
I even have, I am told, a good “natural swing.”
And I STILL completely suck. I was probably better at 15 than I am at 35 (God forbid I’m even worse at 55). I strongly doubt I’ll ever break a 15-handicap…heck, if I’m playing no-gimmies and USGA rules, I’m not even a 20-handicap right now. I’ll step up to the tee of a par-4, uncork a 280 yard drive…and take an 8. My dad kicks my ass all over the course on a front nine, then taunts me by offering me strokes on the back nine. If I do start to beat him, it will be his age, not my proficiency, that’s the reason why. (And if he uses senior tees, I may never beat him.) He COMPLETELY “owns” me at the one sport that still matters to both of us.
I try to tell myself–just play tennis competitively. Just play pickup hoops, and softball, a little racquetball, maybe run a few more marathons. BUT STOP GOLFING. JUST STOP. Hell, I don’t even love golfing. I probably hate it as much as I like it. But I can’t stop playing it. Because I keep telling myself that I will figure it out, and when I do, I’ll be good at golf like I am at other sports. And I’ll finally beat my dad. It doesn’t look that hard…it doesn’t even FEEL like it should be that hard.
That summer I was home from college, I golfed at least 18 holes every single day. I was no better at the end of the summer than the start. I was, however, much angrier about the sport. And, unfortunately, completely hooked on something I completely suck at.
The next time I am “home,” my dad will set up a crack-of-dawn tee time and I’ll enjoy walking the course, talking to him and his buddies…and then three overweight waaaay-past-their-athletic-prime senior citizens will beat me down and take my money. And they’ll do it again the next day. And the next day. And every day until my visit ends. And when I get home, I’ll head back to the range, hit balls for 2 hours, figure something out, and get excited for the next time. That is sporting insanity defined.
Joe said: “After all, as a sportswriter I’m lucky enough to be around the excellence of sports. The best baseball players. The best football players.”
Joe living in Kansas City you must spend a lot of time in the visitors locker room.
Joe is on to something. Golf DOES look easy, and it’s often played by middle-aged white guys who don’t look like real athletes. For that reason, it often commands little respect even from the reporters who cover it closely.
Remember how seriously reporters USED to take the idea that Michael Jordan was going to go on the PGA tour after retiring from basketball? That alone shows tremendous disrespect for the game of golf.
A guy like Jim Furyk has been practicing golf for hours, every day, since he was a kid.
The idea that Michael Jordan (or ANYONE, really) could take up a sport in his twenties, play a little in his spare time, and acquire those same skills is… well, STUPID. It’s insulting. It’s only slightly less silly than Sergio Garcia playing a little pickup basketball on the side, and talking about entering the NBA.
Kenny @ 32 “I thought many gave up running because they got a learners permit?”
That, my friend, is true comedy.
MrMj @ 30
“Golf is not a difficult game, just a technical one. If one starts at a young age, receives thousands of hours of instruction, and has enough $$$ for equipment, lessons, tee times, etc. … there’s no reason why the person can’t be a serviceable player.”
–
I would say this is true of nearly any sport, provided you don’t have any significant physical handicaps. Ichiro’s dad made him hit 250 pitches every day starting at like 10 years. He’s a scrawny dude who you would never think of as a pro athlete, but he’s learned a niche skill that has enabled him to be an international star. I’ve heard that Joe Mauer’s dad did something similar, but I don’t know the details.
Tennis, golf and figure skating are notorious for starting kids young, but the level of competition in today’s sports is extremely high, and starting early is becoming more and more necessary for any sport. There are very few Brian Jordan/Bo Jackson types out there who can just randomly choose an activity to dominate. The majority rely on good coaching and hours upon hours of drills. All those Dominican baseball camps are proof of this. Bryce Harper was getting noticed by scouts when he was like 12. Juan Gonzalez signed when he was 16.
Joe, your thoughts on the IBB to A-Rod in the 9th inning of Game 5?
MrMJ @30
Any ideas on how to achieve world peace? Cure the common cold? Baldness?
I’ve played just about every sport competitively (except hockey) and by far, golf is the most challenging. I’ve been playing for 8 years now and I still can’t say I’ve ever birdied a hole. Damn lipper.
Golf is the only sport former athletes can play in which 100 percent effort can be used every time out.
One can play all out with, grandkids, women, new to the game players……….
In fact playing golf well with other golfers is cool.
I can’t think of another sport where you can give it you all, always. I can see situations with other sports where max. effort could be used, but not often.
Tennis? I guess if you have a player matching your skills every set. Which doesn’t happen.
Softball…nope, not everytime out
Flag football….nope, unless you wish to chop block your mother in law, or sizzle a short pass to your out of shape clumzy best friend.
The problem with golf is expectations. TV has ruined normal people and made them think/believe/wish they could be like the pros. I watched it a bit and then decided to go to the driving range. After using about 150 swings to get through 50 balls, I realized that those people were biological oddities deposited here from another planet. Normal people don’t play golf like that.
I’m not a golfer. I wish I was. I wish it was cheap enough. But I like going to Par 3 courses with friends and just enjoying a game played outside. And I just assume I will suck. I assume that there is not a whole lot I can do about this, besides kidnapping Tiger Woods, stealing his DNA, and having it spliced into my own. So shots flying everywhere doesn’t surprise me. Shots coming woefully short is expected. And when something happens that’s right, that’s good… I’m delighted. Wonderfully surprised.
Golf is just fun at that point. Of course, I have to beat my mind into submission and refuse to think about winning or losing, or my head will explode and I will probably use those blunt instruments as skewers.
Self-delusion is my game.
Hey – can someone clue me in? What does the “circle me____” mean? Thanks.
I always hear how it is harder to hit a 90MPH pitch, than it is to golf. I say hogwash. Where a hit ball goes in baseball is somewhat random, and you have a huge space to land your hit in and be successful. Hitting your ball within 10 feet of where you are aiming, using a completly unnatural move, is much harder to do consistently. And, a baseball player is deemed great if he can do it, what, 32% of the time? Imagine if Tiger hit the ball where he was aiming less than 1/3 of the time!
And, Anthony is right. People have unrealistic expectations for their game. Even professionals only make a 10 foot putt half the time, yet I know many golfers that get mad at themselves for missing those putts. We golfers are a silly lot.
Bert Blyleven, great pitcher, terrible announcer, does this thing where fans hold up signs in the stands saying “circle me bert” and he circles them with a telestrator on tv. It’s about as lame as his announcing….
OK…. so when someone say “Circle me, YE Yang” what does that mean? They want YE Yang to circle their post on this website??
Sorry, doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Seems like posting for the sake of posting. Come on people, you’re better than that. And none of this “first” stuff!!
A good hitter can direct his hit on the field. Not necessarily pinpoint, but they can aim. The fact that a 32% success rate is great tells you how difficult hitting is. The fact that no one has hit .400 since Ted Williams. Hitting a golf ball with Tiger-like accuracy is very difficult, but I think hitting a fastball is the most difficult in sports.
Yea, the “Circle me” thing here is pretty much just a replacement of first.
I always think returning a tennis serve would be the hardest thing in sports. Faster than a baseball, and a smaller target.
Plus, even if you get it over the net, it’s likely you hit a weak shot that the server just kills you on with his next shot. That looks way harder to me than hitting a baseball.
Tampa Mike, I can see why people think that, but I think the fact that hitters are rewarded for hits that go pretty much anyplace means it is easier than precision golf. You have to hit precise shots on 18 holes, over 4 days, to be great. You have to do it time, after time, after time. A golfer will have to hit more precise shots in a month than a hitter has ABs in a season. So, its not just the individual ABs or shots, its that you have to do it over and over. That required consistency is way harder, but YMMV on that opinion.
I’d don’t buy that hitting a fastball is the most difficult thing in sports, given how many guys can do it fairly well. Now, hitting a breaking ball…
@48
One distinct advantage a player has when returning a tennis serve is that he does not have to think whether to do it or not. He can just react and if the serve was a fault, he will not be punished for going after it. The baseball player has to decide first whether to go for the swing or not. If something, batting is similar to the tennis volley after the very bad approach shot…
@22
I agree about the running part. If I ever make it to IOC, I will have lane 8 given to a random spectator on every Olympic track & field event. Hell, even one spot in the throwing and jumping events. I think it would do many a TV-spectator good to get some comparison.
And as for golf, I will happily admit it is hard. I played basically every sport ever invented, but, having been a South European hothead, quit golf after one single try. My girlfriend at the time was not only better, she could even drive the ball further – I had no choice, but to pack my ego and leave…
On last night’s intentional walk to A-Rod: I understand about your distaste for the intentional walk, I’m right there with ya. But there’s no way, there’s just no way in God’s pin-striped earth I allow Brian Fuentes to face A-Rod with a one-run lead.
(for what it’s worth, I feel like Fuentes, Byung Hyung Kim and Kyle Farnsworth should all get a house together)
Agree with #48 Mike in MN-
Baseball is by far my favorite sport… and the sport that i was best at growing up… But it always bothered me when people repeated that line about “the hardest thing to do in sports is hit a Major League fastball.” Hitting a baseball isnt even the hardest part of baseball.
If i spent all day long having Roy Halladay throw me fastballs, i think, maybe, i could hit one… maybe. If I spent all day.
But if i spent all day trying to throw a pitch past Pujols, i would never succeed. Never.
Thats not even considering other sports. Here is a quick list off the top of my head of things in pro sports that would be harder than hitting a fastball.
1. Trying to block an NFL Nose Tackle or Defensive End
2. Trying to pass rush ~350lb NFL Center, Offensive Tackle or Guard.
3. Trying to defend or score against an NBA PF/C in the low post
4. Trying to get a punch in against a professional boxer
5. Anything in the Octagon
What I mean is, there are so many things in pro sports that the average person is physically precluded from doing. Swinging a bat and attempting to hit a ball can be done by almost anyone and could be accomplished with help of a little luck.
The running analogy doesn’t really work. We may run on the same course as the elites, but there’s not a moment during that run in which we’re doing anything remotely similar to what the elite runners are doing.
I’m an average weekend golfer with about a 12 handicap. And every now and then, for a three or four hole stretch, everthing will come together. Straight drives. High and crisp iron shots that stick near the pin. 15 foot putts into the middle of the hole.
Then I double the next three holes. It’s a mystery.
Sorry about the Bruce Born To Run show, Joe.
Abysmal forecast in NY tomorrow. I think you’re spending Sunday night in the Yankee Stadium press box and maybe Monday night too.
@53 Although you achieve similar results for a brief period of time – does it mean you are doing something that closely resembles the action of an elite golfer? More so than a decent amateur runner resembles an elite one?
Mike in MN @ #48–
there is one thing harder than trying to return ridiculously fast serves–calling the lines WHILE you try to return them. in a league i played in there was one team that would trot out ringers once in a while. they’d bomb serves well over 100 MPH that would just explode off the court, kicking up to eye level. one european dude in particular that would should up when was in on business was ridiculous–i took maybe 2 games off him in two-plus sets (we kept playing because he kicked my ass so quickly that all the other matches were still going) and MAN was he pissed after those games. And when he served:
WHOOSH.
“vas zat een?”
“i’m not sure.”
“vell, i zink it vas een.”
“okay then.”
WHOOSH. (or, VOOSH).
over…and over…and over. there was no freakin’ way to call any serve that was close. and that dude probably wasn’t good enough to be playing on a major circuit. i can’t even imagine trying to return a roddick-esque serve. i’ve seen stories where a journalist will try to return a few big-serving pro’s serves and usually it’s some joker who never plays…well, i play a lot, and i’m pretty sure that not only would i not get my racket on many (maybe any) serves, but that if one was aimed right at me i’d be in a lot of pain shortly after its launch. i mean, roddick has served the ball 155 MPH. C’mon…155 MPH? That’s a freakin’ car race. That’s 50% faster than serious “cheese”, as the Eck would say. I wouldn’t want to play Roddick unless I was wearing a lot of protection, especially about 3 layers of cups.
KSmith @ 42: Check out the Glossary
I love the Raitis Ivanas reference. How many people will have any clue who this guys is?
Joe…You still have the opportunity to play, and play with your daughters. Take them to a driving range sometime for 30 min. of putting, to see if they like it. Then, you can take lessons at the same time they do. I did this with my two sons when they were 10 and 5 (and I was 42), and now I have two playing partners for the rest of my life. Be prepared for that day, however, when they can beat you. With both of my sons, it happened in their early teens.
Re: Circle Me _______
Posters use “circle me ____” to make a quick reference to a person as an additional example of whatever was discussed in Joe’s post. If Joe’s talking about amazing moments in postseason pinch hitting, you’d probably see:
Circle Me, Kirk Gibson
Roughly translated: “Hey, remember that other great clutch performer Kirk Gibson”
At their best, circle me’s can be informative or funny. At their worst, they miss the mark and offer nothing to the discussion.
“What I mean is, there are so many things in pro sports that the average person is physically precluded from doing. Swinging a bat and attempting to hit a ball can be done by almost anyone and could be accomplished with help of a little luck.”
But that’s what makes it so hard. It’s something that literally everyone should be able to do, and yet so few are able to do it consistently well. The average person couldn’t score or defend against Shaquille O’Neal, but the average 6′11 person would probably find it much easier than he would hitting a baseball. The average person can’t block Dwight Freeney, but the average 6′6, 300 LB guy would find it a lot easier than hitting a baseball. Boxing and MMA, if you train long enough, you should be able to at least put up a halfway decent fight. Doesn’t matter how many times you hit the batting cage, you’re still gonna be lucky to foul a few pitches off against a ML Caliber pitcher.
Agree with others who have noted that many weekend golfers seem to have absurdly high expectations for their games.
The fact that hack players are expected to play by the same rules as professionals also contributes to the appreciation that duffers have for pros. In what other sport is the bar set so high for recreational players?
For me the strict adherence to the rule book takes a lot of the fun out of golf (I wouldn’t want to play 48-minute pickup basketball games either). I also kinda think the fact that hacks and pros play by the same rules indicates that golf is easier than other sports. Not easy, but easier.
Regarding hitting a 90 mph fastball vs. all other things.
Boy’s of Summer, Roger Kahn description of standing at the plate while one of the Dodger pitchers warmed up is classic, and goes to the heart of why hitting a baseball is tough; it would be ABSOLUTELY terrifying to stand there, first and foremost. Regardless of all skills involved, one must first stand there and not primarily be prepared to dive out of the way. I would try to hit a golf ball into the hole, (Mr MJ is ludicrous and unnecessary btw) I would not stand and let Roy Halliday throw fastballs by me all day. I wouldn’t have the nerve.
Yes, I know Kahn’s description is of a curveball, but nonetheless.
This is a little bit unfair. I think we are beating ourselves up a little bit. Yes, we all suck at golf compared to the people we see on tv. Yes, we might stand a better chance in the MLB than on the PGA tour, but that doesn’t mean golf is necessarily harder. It just means that there are a lot fewer pro golfers that we see on TV.
How many golfers are considered “professional”? From a scan of Wikipedia, it looks like there are about 125-150 golfers on the PGA tour. Imagine if we took the top 150 baseball players in the world and eliminated all the others. No more Yuni Betancourt. Just the 150 best in the world. If the only pro baseball players you ever saw were the top 150 in the world, you’d probably have a higher opinion of their talent level.
Now consider that for televised golf, you really only watch the top 20 or so. Heck, I doubt I could name more than 10 active golfers off the top of my head. Imagine that the top 20 baseball players were the only ones you ever saw. You’d really appreciate how much you suck then.
My point is, golf as a professional sport is hard, but the fact that we only see the best professionals makes it look even harder. Tennis is the same. Name more than 5 pro tennis players? Comparing yourself to Federer or Tiger Woods is not the same as comparing yourself to any run of the mill pro athlete. Its like comparing yourself with Pujols or Peyton Manning.
Try comparing yourself to some sucky players. You will feel better. I once saw Coco Crisp three hop a throw to the cutoff man. I KNOW I could throw better than Coco, and he doesn’t exactly hit well either. Maybe if we all practiced dropping bunts and running really fast we could bunt our way to a .250 OBP, then go work for Dusty Baker.
In regard to hitting a major league fastball…
Weren’t there stories a few years back about Jennie Finch, the softball pitcher, striking out a bunch of major leaguers? I think an argument could be made that hitting one of her fastballs (from whatever distance a softball mound is) is harder than hitting a MLB fastball.
B.O. @ 64:
There are a heck of a lot more pro golfers in the world. Multiple U.S. tours, European tour, Asian tour, etc. Then throw pro women in there too. Then throw in local pros–there are thousands of insanely talented golfers at courses across the US. I mentioned earlier that I have two relatives that are club pros…one’s a muni, one’s an elite country club. Dude, both of them are SO GOOD that it’s ridiculous. If you put them on an average public course they would simply tear it up. They both try to drive a couple par-4s at our public course. And they are nowhere near the PGA tour (not even the minor league one, whatever that is now). You would watch these two guys (who are now in their 50s and not as good as they once were) and say “how can PGA pros be THAT MUCH better than this?”
So no, for me personally, it’s not watching Tiger and saying, “That doesn’t look that hard.” It’s more like if I watched a local community college team and watched a 19-year old kid shoot 2-under par and then said, “Man, do I suck.”
Obviously, golf gets a bad rap as a “sport” because the people who play (at the pro level) simply don’t look like athletes. For every lean Tiger Woods physique, there’s 3 guys who look like they’d have difficulty running a quarter mile but have no problems closing down a buffet and there’s 3 other guys who look like they’re headed to a Ritz Carlton corporate retreat in the Caymans.
That’s why there’s certainly an “everyman” aspect to golf. Golfers look like you and me or your financial advisor … there’s nothing stereotypically “jock”-ish about them. They wear dress slacks, loafers, polo shirts, and if cold, nice sweaters. Lefty should wear a bra. They have what looks to be a servant carrying their bags around and offering “advice.” They walk around beautiful “parks” and hit a stationary ball 70-80 times a round. They endorse asset management, accounting, and consulting firms. They can’t execute a proper high-five.
So when some people see a pro hit a 5-iron a half foot away from the cup, they are predisposed to thinking, “Meh, it can’t be that hard.” But the more you understand and play the game, the more you understand who incredibly difficult it is.
I see where some pro on the PGA tour just shot back to back rounds of 61. Hell, that’s nothing. Earlier this year I had back to back nines of 61. Let’s see a pro top that!
Joe,
We’d love to hear your thoughts on the Tribe’s new skipper.
Second to last paragraph, first sentence, ended with sport missing its t, spor.