Seeing Seagulls by the Lakeshore*
Posted: June 11th, 2009 | Filed under: Baseball | 62 Comments »
The Kansas City Royals lost Thursday night when the game-winning hit bounced off a seagull.
Now, that sentence — as marvelously constructed as it may be — is a bit misleading. The Royals were going to lose anyway Thursday night. They really lost when, up two-runs in the eighth, they committed two errors on what looked like a double-play grounder to first and when closer Joakim Soria left a curveball up to Cleveland’s Jhonny Peralta. They really lost when reliever Kyle Farnsworth … well, do you really need to say more than that? Kyle Farnsworth is an absolutely remarkable pitcher. For the last month and a half, he has been placed into low-pressure situations and he has been virtually unhittable. League hit .148 against him! Strikeout to walk ratio of 17-2! Zero earned runs!
As soon as the Royals put him into the game on Thursday — tie score, top of the 10th inning — he immediately turned back into Kyle Farnsworth.* A leadoff seeing-eye single. A walk. A line drive hit up the middle that bounced off a seagull and skipped past centerfielder Coco Crisp. Ballgame.
No, it wouldn’t have mattered — we all know Coco isn’t throwing anyone out at the plate.
But it does matter. Because, bottom line, the top-line sentence is accurate. The Royals lost when a ball hit a seagull. And it’s just last latest addition to the list of remarkable things I have had the chance to witness since arriving in Kansas City thirteen years ago.
I have seen a manager, in an effort to inspire his team, jump into a shower with his clothes on. I have seen another manager, in an effort to inspire his team, promise to smile more. That manager also believed his team had too many milk-drinkers, not enough tequila drinkers. I have seen two managers quit in the middle of the season and a third manager get told he was fired by the reporters who covered the team. I have seen a parade of pitching coaches fired, a handful of hitting coaches fired, a couple of bullpen coaches let go and numerous bench coaches reassigned.
I have seen a centerfielder race back to the wall, set himself, time his leap and … watch the ball land 10 feet in front of him on the warning track. The ball then bounced over his head for a ground-rule double — the umpires were so confused they initially called it a home run. The call was righted eventually but one of my favorite moments as a Royals observer was watching the Royals’ manager race out to argue the call. I could only imagine the exchange.
Manager: That ball landed on the warning track. How could you miss that?
Umpire: Because your centerfielder climbed the wall?
Manager: Uh, good point. Listen, I’ll go back to the dugout. You guys work it out.
Mine eyes have seen the glory of a player named Chip Ambres, who played in only 53 games with Kansas City, but managed in that short period of time to make team history TWICE. Ambres made his first appearance for the Royals on July 20. Eight days later, on July 28, he hit his first big league home run. The Royals lost that game to Tampa 10-5 … and that was the first loss in what would become a 19-game losing streak.
Historic moment No. 1 happened on August 9th, when the Royals were leading Cleveland 7-2 going into the ninth inning. Mike MacDougal was the Royals closer then — or at least that’s what they called him — and he promptly gave up a double to Casey Blake, a double to Grady Sizemore, a single to Coco Crisp (Coco has seen the Kansas City thing from both sides now). That made it 7-4. After a strikeout, MacDougal gave up ANOTHER double to Travis Hafner. Victor Martinez singled. It was 7-5.
And then the real fun began. Ronnie Belliard popped up to short … but Angel Berroa dropped it. The Royals did get an out there on a play at second. So it was 7-6, but there were two outs.
And that’s when Jeff Liefer lifted a fly ball to Chip Ambres in left field. Anyone who heard the call by Royals announcer Denny Matthews will never forget it: “There’s a fly ball to left field and … he dropped it. Yes he did.” There was no doubt in Denny’s voice at all. The Indians ended up scoring 11 runs in the inning and winning the game.* That, incidentally, was lost No. 11 in a row for the Royals.
*Another highlight of that inning was when right fielder Emil Brown tried to kick the ball back into the infield. He was not quite successful.
Later, in historic moment No. 2 — just mentioned this the other day — Ambres (playing center) and left-fielder Terrence Long converged on a fly ball and then, each thinking the other would make the play, began jogging toward the dugout. The ball plopped down behind them. I remember going into the radio booth to ask Denny if he had ever seen anything like that before. He considered the question for a moment. And then he said: “Nope.”
Other stuff I’ve seen: I saw the Royals lose once when a pitcher, attempting to start an inning-ending double play, slipped on the resin bag and threw the ball into centerfield. … I saw the Royals begin a game batting out of order. I mean, batting out of order is one thing, but the FIRST BATTER was out of order? … I saw a Royals baserunner literally fall off of first base on a pickoff attempt. He got back to the bag safely and then, almost in slow motion, he just fell off the base and was tagged out. … I saw the Royals lose a game when, with the bases loaded, a batter hit a ball back to Mike MacDougal. He threw home — literally. The ball had to be at least 5 feet over the catcher’s head. I remember it being 10 feet high. … I saw the Royals release a pitcher IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME … I saw a Royals prospect, with two runners in scoring position, look so frightened that, even though the opposing pitcher threw three batting practice fastballs right over the heart of the plate, he never even thought about swinging. … I saw the Royals try out a professional softball pitcher … I saw a Royals pitcher get hurt during spring training SLIDING practice (you might recall, the Royals are an American League club) … I saw Esteban German get hit in the face with a fly ball because (1) he was playing centerfield, (2) he’s not a centerfielder, (3) the sun was out and (4) he was not wearing his sunglasses. Fortunately, Esty was wearing his sunglasses on the flight home after the game so no one could see his shiner … I saw Tony Pena lose a ball in the sun because he wasn’t wearing sunglasses. After the game, Pena explained that he had ordered his sunglasses but “they had not come in yet.” … I saw Royals pitcher Miguel Asencio throw 16 consecutive balls to start off his major league career. … I saw the Royals draft the first high school pitcher who ever officially threw 100 mph. Apparently, nobody noticed that he did not throw strikes.
Of course, there’s the Ken Harvey oeuvre. Once, he lost a battle with a tarp. Once, as the cut-off man, he turned his back on an outfield throw and got hit in the back. Once he threw a baseball into his own pitcher’s face.*
*Harvey, you will note, was the Royals All-Star in 2004. He then played in 12 games for the Royals in 2005 and he hasn’t played a big league game since. A little while ago, he was released by the Kansas City T-Bones Independent league team.
There was the time a Royals pitcher complained because he could not get any no-decisions. … There was the time the Royals decided to call up a pitcher named Eduardo Villacis to pitch at Yankee Stadium because … well, no one knew. No one on the team had ever even heard of him. Villacis gave up 5 runs in 3 1/3 innings, walked four, struck out none, and the Royals sent him back down and then released him. He never again pitched in the big leagues. … There was the time a Royals outfield “accidentally” shot a television reporter with a pellet gun. … There was the time outfielder Mark Quinn finally walked after a long, long streak without walking. Someone set off fireworks at the stadium. … There was the time a pitcher, frustrated by a bad rehab start, broke his hand hitting a door. …
More. So much more. I’ve written about so many of these things again and again, but I cannot help it. Something bad happens and it all rushes back. This team, well, someday something good is going to happen for this team. Someday.
Tonight, though, they lost when a ball hit a seagull. Well, why not? Why the hell not?
*Alternate headline: I ran. I ran so far away. Couldn’t get away.
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This makes even Cubs fans feel good.
Joe, you write about these things so often but I always enjoy reading them. At some point every summer, usually earlier than this, but occassionally later, nearly every Royals fan gives up on the season and starts re-telling these stories. The sad thing is that they actually provide some comfort, probably because the humor is our only coping device.
Do we get a movie yet?
Well, on the bright side, it looks like they have a shot at another top three draft pick in 2010.
We’re developing quite an arsenal of natural weapons. We have the midges for the Yankees and the seagulls for the Royals. Next up: zebra mussels. Maybe they will clog up the Tigers’ water jug on a sweltering August afternoon.
Wow. Great post. It actually made me laugh out loud. You were able to write about plenty of mishaps without Brett and McRae’s infamous tirades too.
gotta say: this is one reason i will never stop being a royals fan. how amazing is this list of things i’ve seen after growing up with brett, bret, quiz, frank, willie, onix, duke, dennis, gura, busby, mark g, buddy, danny, eisenreich, orta, etc… those names are a big part of my childhood/adolescence. in my adult life: harvey, mac the ninth, runelvys, sanchez, stynes, saunders, and the tragedies of sweeney, damon, dye, and beltran. what else can i do. i’m waiting for my second childhood that shakespeare promised me.
The eleventh run ninth inning against the Indians had to be the low point of the franchise, right?
The other game I remember is when the A’s had a gigantic winning streak, and they were playing us during this same stretch of complete and utter nonsense, and they jumped out 11-0 in the third inning. But then we had a big rally soon thereafter, and another one late in the game to make it 11-10. And then we scored in the top of the ninth to tie the game. We were going to end a 19 game winning streak with one of the most amazing comebacks in baseball history.
And then we gave up a homerun in the bottom of the ninth to lose.
hahaha when you put them all in order like that, Joe…
i thought for sure the royals were gonna wing that one.
If only Philip Roth had waited to write “The Great American Novel.” This summary of hilarious incompetence could have helped him add on at least a few chapters. Hell, you should just write an unauthorized sequel to that novel about a fictional “Royales” team committing every baseball atrocity you’ve actually witnessed in real life.
The Nationals may lose more games, but it sure seems like the 2004-2006 Royals are more entertaining to reminisce about, kind of like the 1962 Mets. That was one thing that was so frustrating about the 2003 Tigers. They lost 119 games, and there were very few moments where you can look back and just laugh like those abysmal Royals teams.
Love ya Joe.
Need to get an editor. Lots of minors.
My favorite part about Kerry Robinson climbing the wall, only to have the ball land on the warning track and bounce over him, was his quote in the KC Star the next day. (I’m going from memory here, so I might not be word perfect…) “That was just me trying to make something happen.”
He was successful.
We lost this game with John Bale at first base. This is not the first time we’ve lost a game involving John Bale and first base. It will likely not be the last.
I’m a Royals fan. I know the drill. But this game and the game on Tuesday just really put me in a foul mood with them.
Some of this stuff is so outrageous it reads like the opposite of the Chuck Norris schtick.
I don’t live in Kansas City – I live in Detroit – yet I’ve seen the Royals:
1) Set a team record for runs in a doubleheader before the end of the first game … and then get shut out in the second game.
2) Have a manager say that the player that went 6-for-6 with 6 runs scored in the first game of the doubleheader (yes, the same one) was going to sit out the second game because he was “too tired from running the bases.” Did I mention the Royals were shut out in the second game?
3) Have a *different* manager tell us that there are times it is better to hit a double than a homer, because pitchers don’t like pitching from the stretch.
4) Sweep the Tigers at the end of the season, which did keep the Tigers from winning the division (they went to the World Series anyway), but also handed David Price to the Rays.
5) Lose in 1:45 to Jose Lima. Only 7:05 game I’ve ever seen that ended before it got dark.
6) Play Tony Pena Jr. in several major-league games.
That was one thing that was so frustrating about the 2003 Tigers. They lost 119 games, and there were very few moments where you can look back and just laugh like those abysmal Royals teams.
That Tigers team did have a game end on a walk-off strikeout, but they won it – the 9-8 win on the next-to-last game of the season when they were 8-0 down and looked like a lock for loss #120.
Winning run on third, one out, and Warren Morris swings at a 2-2 pitch that is about 10 feet outside. Ball goes to the backstop and Alex Sanchez scores the winning run.
That doesn’t sound real. It just… it doesn’t seem possible. It’s like reading about a cartoon baseball team.
[...] The Kansas City Royals have lost 524 games since 2004 and they’ve lost them in dozens of different and depressing ways. [...]
When Farnsworth was a Brave, I always referred to him as Ten-Cent Head. He is, to me, the living embodiment of that particular old saw: the man with the million-dollar arm and the ten-cent head.
This was excellent. Not being a Royals fan, I had not heard those stories. Great stuff.
This is what you get when you build your offense around guys who don’t get on base like Guillen, Jacobs and Crisp, and when your bullpen gets rid of Leo Nunez for guys like Kyle Farnsworth and Jamey Wright. Seriously, is this recent stretch the worst ever for a “major league” bullpen? We have to have not only the highest ERA, but the most inherited runners scored in baseball history.
I got the feeling that this could have been a real old-timer talking about the 1930’s Dodgers. All they need is the Sym-phony band.
[...] The Kansas City Royals lost Thursday night when the game-winning hit bounced off a seagull. [...]
Joe, I saw this commercial and thought of you. For a couple reasons. That’s a compliment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfGXmxJ1vM
You also forgot to mention that last night with Mark Teahan and Mike Jacobs on the bench, and a righty pitching (Kerry Wood) that had just weeks ago given up homers to Teahan and Jacobs, Trey pinch hit for Tony Pena with ……………………….. Luis Hernandez.
Luis Hernandez with a career minor league OPS of .610. Maybe the only hitter in the league as inept as Tony Pena.
And of course in reading the game stories in the Star this morning, I didn’t see a single mention about that. Or about how Guillen and Olivo each had pathetic strikeouts with a runner on third and 1 out. Why should these players care if they suck if only a handful of people really care and the KC media will continue to give them a complete free pass?
Love the A Flock of Seagulls reference! How many BR’s even know that band?
One of the all-time great calls – Denny Matthews’ “He dropped it. Yes he did.” Gosh, he must feel like Bob Eucker calling the fake Indians games in Major League.
I’m a Pirates fan, so I’m sure I could one-up you if I had your remarkable memory.
Wow Joe, when you put it all together into one article, it kind of makes me want to jump from the top of a very tall building!! I wonder how many non Royals fans read this article & think you made up 90% of it? I assure you, he did not!!
I was at the game. The seagulls were everywhere. (They have been for 2 weeks. On 5-31 I was at the game and a girl sitting in front of me got pooped on. Good times.) I didn’t know that it actually hit a gull, I just thought that his view was blocked. It was pretty comical watching Crisp act like the gulls were the thing that prevented him from gunning down DeRosa at the plate. To look at Clisp you would have thought it was a forgone conclusion.
When the Tribe rallied to tie it, I said to my friend that “we only need to get this thing to Farnsworth.” When he came in my friend pointed out that Farnsworth had a 3.00 ERA.
“Just watch”
I love it when I’m right about stuff like that. Thank you so much Joe. You made me look like I know what I’m talking about. Not an easy task.
Nothing works out for this club. Strengths turn into weaknesses over the course of weeks. High draft choices don’t pan out (Butler, Gordon). Soria may have Mariano Rivera stuff, but seems to have no Rivera longevity. They always seem to have 3 or 4 first basemen/designated hitters and guys otherwise playing out of position. Their defensive lapses are an embarrassment. How long has it been since they had any speed? I don’t get it. You gotta get something right. And then it defies description to read that the GM Dayton Moore is encouraged and upbeat about the makeup of the club. Whatever he is smoking, I want some of it…
I’ve decided that I will take “circle me bert” and “first” over Mark telling Joe he needs an editor for his blog.
Love the stories. The outfielder climbing the wall to have the ball land 10 feet in front of him followed by umpire confusion had me laughing. I’m a Cubs fan and Cubs fans/reporters have yet to grow a sense of humor about our mishaps so this is MUCH appreciated.
There’s a young guy, maybe 23 or 24, born in late 1985 or early 1986. He has never seen his team (football or baseball) win a championship. And his baseball team will have been comically bad during most of his formative years. In other words, he will be me, except he lives in Kansas City and is 20 years younger.
I think all of those things happened to the Indians of my youth.
I would love to tell this young man that it works out for the best, but … um … well … let’s change the subject.
There was a time – not that long ago – when the Royals had the highest payroll in baseball.
I’ll just let that sink in.
[...] as Kansas City Star writer Joe Posnanski said in his blog last night, the Royals did not lose because a game-winning single hit a seagull. They were going to lose [...]
i LOVE the alternate headline. flock of seagulls will be in my head all day long. thanks, joe.
Isn’t it “resin” not “rosin” – as in resin bag? Although, yes, we all do say “rawzin bag”.
And, that bird would have made a better throw to home plate than Coco!
The first “SQUAWK OFF” win…EVER?
Hat Tip: http://royalsblog.kansascity.com/?q=node/344#comment-3675
bwaaaaaahaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaahaaa
So, if the bird is sitting on the ground and the ball hits the bird and deflects up without actually touching the ground straight to Coco who catches it and then runs into the infield tagging first and second base, is it an unassisted triple play?
Joe, you should find a (lesser talented, obviously) columnist from Pittsburgh and do a dueling banjos style list of comical baseball events. Rent a hall, sell tickets for charity, that kind of thing.
You failed to mention the Royals starting the game with a 10-run first inning…and losing.
this is not a memory that will make a man proud. i went to a concert at norfolk’s scope auditorium in 1983. the headliner was the go go’s. the opening act was a flock of seagulls.
the go go’s live were significantly different than they were on record; rather than coming off as creamy and poppy, they made like an honest to goodness rock and roll bar band. the chick on drums came off like a bonham wanna be, she was thunderous.
so that was okay.
a flock of seagulls were…just awful. they replayed ‘i ran’ three times during their short set, they just didn’t have any songs. and dude’s hair was…way beyond merely laughable.
clint hurdle had a pretty good year with the tidewater tides that year, and strawberry got into a couple dozen games late in the season.
and the damn mets never did bring gooden up to the tides that year, even though he struck out three hundred guys in less than two hundred innings at a lower level…as it got to be late in the year, everyone was pumped, surely gooden would get promoted and we’d get to see a couple three starts out of him…but, no, it never happened.
in retrospect, that was my biggest disappointment that year, not getting to see that hot kid gooden.
but, in the remorse and disappointment department, a very very close second to that is the fact that i paid, in part, to see and support a flock of seagulls’ musical career.
thanks for bringing them to mind, joe. thanks a lot.
The one I’ll always remember is the game I went to where David DeJesus (I think) fouled a ball off of the press box. On a bunt.
Oh, and that 10 run 1st game. That I remember because I had just found out I could get text alerts from ESPN for baseball, so I signed up and figured, what the hey, it’s baseball, there are some high scoring games, but not too bad, and I chose the option for a text every score. I received 28 texts that night and ended up with a rather large text overage on my next bill.
Your next book should be on Eduardo Villacis. Still one of the most bizarre things I have ever seen in 30 years of watching baseball.
The guy lying on the couch who Sam Jackson shoots in the head in the opening sequence of “Pulp Fiction” was called “Flock of Seagulls,” I assume because of his haircut.
[...] If you need the uglier details of the past 15 years you can read KC Star’s columnist Joe Posnanski’s annual article on the team’s ineptitude. Suffice it to say that the Royals have squandered most of the goodwill built up during the [...]
Great ending. Absolutely great ending.
i’ll add a seagull story from milwaukee. a torrential downpour that flooded county stadium up to the tenth row of box seats spawned an insect bumper crop that was too tempting for the lake michigan gulls to ignore. at the beginning of a 5 pm twilight doubleheader there were literally hundreds and maybe thousands of gulls on the field feeding. everywhere. even walking between the mound and home plate while the pitcher was winding up. they tried to scare the gulls off by playing loud sounds over the public address system and by having the crowd scream in unison, but nothing worked.
the second night they brought in a couple of hunting dogs to chase the gulls off between innings. so after the top of the first they unleashed gus the wonder dog from the bullpen in left field. instead of chasing the gulls gus slowly ambled out to the left field warning track, sniffed around, and dropped a load right there. the milwaukee journal photographer got an excellent picture at just the right moment, but the persnickety old editor wouldn’t let it run in the paper.
my other favorite animal story regarding county stadium was when during the last home game of the season a skunk emerged from the brewers’ bullpen and wandered around the field for 15 minutes. talk about the perfect metaphor. anyway, it was like a lion had been set loose. no one would go near it. so the game was delayed until mr. skunk decided to disappear under the fence behind home plate. being at the game and listening to uecker’s description of the events on the radio while watching them unfold live was almost worth sitting through all those bad brewers games.
[...] for frenchie. – to go from the Braves to the ………Royals. No matter how bad thing are, at least we aren't Kansas City. __________________ That corpse you planted last year in your garden, Has it begun to sprout? [...]
After reading your story, except for some of the names being different, I would have thought I was reading about the team of my youth, the Cleveland Indians. At least the Royals don’t have players being traded to the Yankees so they can make payroll.
The key is you need to have a baseball movie made about your team winning a championship. While that still hasn’t happened for us, it’s at least gotten us closer (one more out in game 7, 1997).
I think the Indians are right now consulting with the Cleveland Zoo to find some other “creatures” besides midges and gulls to help them win games.
This is the proposal for your next book, yes?
There was a time just a few years ago that us Brewers fans had a list like that…it will get better.
ahhhhhhhhhh the memories LOL. Still laugh about Eduardo’s great performance at Yankee Stadium, poor guy. Probably never saw what hit him. Anybody ever heard from him again?
Are we sure it wasn’t an albatross?
Don’t forget Blake Stein (traded for Kevin Appier) stiking out the first 8 Brewers and 11 in 5 2/3 innings, but we still lost the game.
Who was the pitcher cut during the game?
After having watched Luis Castillo’s Error for the Ages on Friday night against the hated Yanks — a horror now permanently branded into the already-traumatized psyche of every Mets fan — it’s almost reassuring to know we’re not the only ones who’ve seen our team continually create new and ever more bizarre ways to lose.
It could be worse – you could be following the Mets. At least there weren’t expectations for the Royals – the Mets were picked to win the World Series by some publications (::coughSIcough::) but are looking more like the ‘62 Mets than the ‘69 Mets most days, topped off by Luis Castillo’s boner Friday night.
The part of me that grew up with Anthony Young losing 27 in a row and David Cone masturbating in the bullpen and Vince Coleman throwing firecrackers and Bobby Bonilla signing the largest contract in ML History only to be, well, Bobby Bonilla wants to just laugh at this stuff, but the part of me that fully expected this to be THE YEAR just wants to cry.
oh, and in case you couldn’t tell from my above post, I’m juuuust too young to remember the late 80’s Mets. I was two in ‘86 and my first ML game was ‘91, the first time they finished under .500 since Darryl was in AAA.
I am the kid who was born in April of ‘86 that has never seen his Royals or Chiefs win anything. At least I got to see my school win some basketball championships
[...] Heck, they even tried out a softball pitcher once. [...]