Picks 02.11.09
Posted: February 11th, 2009 | Filed under: Pop Culture | 35 Comments »
OK, time again for the Picks of the Week … well, this is the first REAL picks of the week. We were just trying it all out last week. I do want to thank all of you for clicking last week’s picks … we have raised eight bucks for charity. I’m thrilled, especially because last week was just a practice week.
We’re going all music singles with our picks this week. This whole thing appears to be working: Click on the song, you can go to the Amazon page, and if you feel like it you should be able to download the song (once you have the Amazon downloader) and it will go right into your iTunes or music folder.
And any money made goes to 826 Valencia, the writing center that author Dave Eggers started.
Pick 1: Valentine, Nils Lofgren.
As you probably already know Nils is my musical hero. This is a great song, perfect for this week of course, and Bruce Springsteen is on backup vocals.
Pick 2: Effington, Ben Folds
I have had to go to Cincinnati several times in the last year — because, you know, 09/09/09 — and I have driven each time. I like long drives. It’s about nine hours, give or take a food stop, and what I like to do is go leave in the afternoon, stop a little past halfway, spend the night, and then get up in the morning and finish off the drive. I always stop in Effingham, Illinois. Always. There’s a nice little Fairfield Inn there, and I always feel great when I get there. I have very warm feelings about Effingham.
But, yes, on the road, when approaching Effingham, I think about the town’s name. I think of scenarios where it could be used:
Scenario 1: “Are you serious? We’re having effing ham again tonight?”
Scenario 2: “Chad Johnson is an effing ham.”
Scenario 3: “This movie might have been all right if Jim Carrey would quit being an effing ham.”
And so on. There are other more vile scenarios too, which I’m sure you already figured. So, naturally, I was thrilled when one of my favorites, Ben Folds, played with the effing theme:
Effington could be a wonderful effing place
I can see if from the highway
And I’m wondering
Are they effing in their yards?
Effing in their cars?
Effing in the trailers and the back roads and the parking lots
Of Effington
Making my way to Normal, Illinois
I’ve got to believe he was referring to my beloved Effingham. He might have meant Effington, Minnesota, but that’s not close to Normal. Or — and I love this name — NEW Effington, South Dakota. But I don’t think Ben would have missed playing around with the New part of that.
Lots of other great songs on this Ben Folds album too, including the awesome “You Don’t Know Me” with the awesome Regina Spektor and an equally awesome Queen type chorus.
Pick 3: Jesse’s Girl, Matt the Electrician
I think I’ve made it pretty clear over the years that I don’t have great musical taste. I like hooks. I like gimmicks. And more than just about anything, I love semi-serious and unique remakes of preposterous songs. Give me Matt the Electrician, an acoustic guitar, and the lyric, “You know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute/I want to tell her that I love her but the point is rather moot,” yeah, I’m in heaven.
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I’m burnt out on HOF talk and now this….Yes, I’ve been thru Effingham, IL and spent a night or two at a motel there but there’s not that much else to effing say about it.
I love Ben Folds too, Joe, but you are way off base recommending that album. Other than “You Don’t Know Me” and “Dr. Yang,” it’s total garbage with his worst lyrics ever.
Don’t circle me Bert, I’m second.
My thoughts 2 big stories of the day, Robbie Alomar and Brett Favre:
Who is crazier in the Alomar story, Robbie or the girl who stayed with him for 4 years? By the way, if the timeline is correct that could explain Alomar’s career ending so suddenly. The only thing that could make Alomar any worse a person is if he were waxing his car while kids were clamoring for his autograph…so at least he’s not that bad.
Brett Favre now joins Joe Namath and Johnny Unitas in the one year too long club. Charter members of club include Emmitt as a Card, Jerry Rice a Bronco, OJ Simpson as a Niner, Franco Harris as a Seahawk, Chris Carter as a Dolpih…come on, you guys are smart give me some more…
Er, third….and fourth?
Effingham, where the immortal Uwe Blab played his high school ball for a couple years anyway, after coming over from West Germany – yes it was a long time ago.
Didn’t Jerry Rice finish with the Seahawks?
Reggie White with the Panthers?
Joe, you could do a swear contest rematch for best use of “Effingham.” Yes, you do want to do that.
As for Robbie Alomar- I think his hat is definitely in the ring for worst (baseball playing) person ever… who apparently the Mets like to trade for. All the more reason to, along with the customary physical before signing a contract, give players the “Are You Effing Crazy?” questionnaire.
I don’t know about it being such a terrible album, Andy L. In addition to the two songs you mentioned, I like the lyrics to “Kylie from Connecticut” and “Errant Dog.” And I’d second Joe’s recommendation about of “Effington.” That’s better than “Songs for Silverman,” which had only two songs I’d keep on my playlist. YMMV, of course.
And, Joe, Effington does refer to Effingham. According to a story Ben told on some show on the Sundance Channel, he wrote it after passing by Effingham on his way to a show in Normal. He played at the show that night, expecting a big response from the locals, “Effington in the house, represent!” but received only bewildered looks. It was then that he realized he’d “effed” up the name. Apparently, he decided to keep it that way.
Ben Folds best album is Rockin the Suburbs.
Any Kids in the Hall fan can tell you that Effingham should just change its name to Finehamabounds.
It *does* refer to Effingham, and the name of the album (Way To Normal) refers to the trip that inspired the song.
Jerry Rice went to training camp with the Broncos in 2005, but retired just before the start of the season when he didn’t win a starting job.
This reminds of all the stupid things my wife and I say every time we pass through Frasier’s Bottem (hee hee even that sound dirty) in West Virginia.
Yes, the Kids In The Hall also had a guy just looking for a Normal Ham Meal.
Did the Effinghamsters tell you their origins? They were once New Guinea pigs.
Effingham? All I can ever think of is the giant cross that stands there by the interstate.
Personally, I love those “one year too long” guys. Athlete’s careers are short enough. I don’t think any of them should hang it up until they’re sure they want to and I think some of the clamor from fans who don’t want to seem them play when they’re a shell of themselves prevents players from hanging around when they could have had more useful years.
Take Mike Piazza…you don’t think he could have been a valuable backup catcher for someone last year playing twice a week to spell the starter? Of course he could have.
Now maybe Mike Piazza just couldn’t accept being a backup and playing twice a week but I have to think that’s at least partly due to the way fans would perceive him and the outcry of seeing Piazza hanging on like that. Or maybe the fans had nothing to do with it and a guy who’s been such a star can never going to being a backup.
But the point is just that I don’t think we have any business telling athletes they should retire just so we don’t have to watch them when they’re no longer the great players they used to be.
I reuse my razors a LOT. I bought this cheesy little mirror contraption years ago that sharpens disposable razors, and as long as I use enough gel I can get months out of one razor. I am a cheap bastard, and I love it when the “lubrication strip” is nothing but a tattered piece of white rubber, or better yet, worn away.
But don’t let me fool you, those twelve days of the year when I put on a new blade are like Christmas. It’s the little things in life.
Just discovered this site, and I’ve gotta tell ya Joe, your writing is right in my sports-appreciation wheelhouse. I’m in my third year of a ph.d. program and honestly this blog is helping me stay sane! I don’t have time to go chasing after great sportswriting, and I can’t read any more (insert major ESPN talent) columns. So not to praise you by disparaging others, but most mainstream sports writing is pretty effing bad these days (or maybe I’m just reading the same people to the point of seriously diminishing enjoyment) and it’s nice to find a notable exception. Congrats on all the deserved success.
I’m all for big hooks and especially catchy gimmicks (I’ll confess that I even thought “Tubthumper” was genius for about 15 minutes), and I think there’s nothing better than great-terrible 70s rock anthems on the iPod when it’s yard work time. But I’ve also long been a fan of bands that bring the mellow (without the cheese), and if anyone else is, check out Fleet Foxes. They were great on SNL, and all their stuff is worth listening to. Great harmonies.
Here’s my favorite town name: Scotrun, PA (I think it’s off I-80). It looks innocent enough, but everyone I know who has driven by it has done a bit of a double-take and wondered if they really just passed a town celebrating an infrequently-celebrated part of the male anatomy.
Can you just do a whole Ben Folds post, Joe? I could write 10,000 words just about “Way To Normal,” much less “Ben Folds Live” or “Whatever and Ever Amen.”
My personal favorite off of “Way To Normal” has to be “Brainwashed,” simply because no one writes a better “Eff you” break-up song than the mopey-guy from Winston-Salem. It’s so catchy and disharming at first, and then you go “Oh, this is a break-up song.” Finally you realize it’s a break-up song directed at a friend or acquaintance, rather than the actual love interest.
Has this been done before by any artist of measure? It’s the break-up song everyone needs to blare when your friends start lecturing/preaching to you. This a woefully underfilled void.
Your thoughts, Mr. Posnanski?
The “You Don’t Know Me” video also stars the brillaint Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim.
I’ll bite, I’ll listen, I’ll raise money for charity, but I really can’t talk music…most of my friends refer to the tennants fo National Socialism when they describe my taste for music (ie: I’m a Music Nazi).
Sorry I’m being such a poop this week, but: Call me when you start recomending Shark Pants or The Minutemen…
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Ben Folds is my absolute favorite. I’d agree that Rockin’ the Suburbs is his best SOLO album, though I prefer the first album from Ben Folds Five, self-titled. I’d vote for Landed as his best solo song.
@ Brent C,
Personally, I’d put “Whatever and Ever Amen” above “Rockin the Suburbs”, but then maybe I’m getting old. That said, “Rockin” has the most tracks I keep going back to. So maybe it IS his best.
I can’t believe no one has mentioned “Hiroshima” yet. It’s a pretty pointless song, but I went around my house humming “uh-uh-uh-oh” for about a week.
I just went to lunch, and on the radio they were actually playing “Song For The Dumped.” Chorus wasn’t even bleeped.
I had to write a review on a Ben Folds concert when he came to Providence last fall. Missy Higgins opened for him. Although he’s a good live act, it’s totally one of those events that chicks drag their bfs to…
Joe,
If you like hooks and a slightly cheesy lyric,
It´s funny how I could never cry
Until tonight and you pass by
Hand in hand with another guy
You´re dressed to kill and guess who´s dying?
-Dance Away (Roxy Music)
Joe, I wholeheartedly agree with your selection of Effington.
Best track on the latest disc, and best lyric on a disc where too often Ben seems to be trying to recreate his pre Five songwriting style.
There’s a fantastic restaurant just off the interstate called Niemerg’s in Effingham. You can get an entree AND a ridiculous all-you-can-eat salad bar/buffet for like $6. You can also overhear unbelievable conversations involving escaped cows and the politics of corn. It is now a required stop whenever I have to drive in any east-like direction.
I had no idea someone covered Rick Springfield. Yet
Joe,
I’ll second CA’s suggestion of Niemerg’s. What a great small-town place. There’s another restaurant in town called Firefly Grill which has gotten some press in Bon Appetit. Friends and family have raved about it, and I’m visiting this weekend.
My last trip to Effingham resulted in me trying to convince my wife to find a job there.
I love Effingham! Spent a night on the move from Cleveland to LA when the special olympics rolled through Terre Haute and there wasn’t a hotel to be found in SW Indiana.
Joe – you should get the readers to pile on with suggestions for remakes like this version of Jesse’s Girl.
For example, Dynamite Hack’s cover of “Boyz in the Hood.” Dynamite Hack even did it to themselves with “Anyway.”
I know there must be lots more out there. Would be great to compile a list
When I was a kid, my family used to make a trip from KC to Akron, OH almost every summer. It was our summer vacation, timed around a HUGE family picnic.
We always drove, and almost always left one evening after my parents got home from work. We would drive to St. Louis, stay the night, and then get up pretty early to make the rest of the drive. And we ALWAYS ate breakfast at the 76 truck stop in Effingham, IL. That had huge, delicious pancakes that were as big as the plate they came on. Pancakes as big as your plate is how we affectionately reffered to them.
I have little doubt now that those pancakes would be considered a pixifood, but I cannot be certain.
America’s Favorite Pastime (The Ballad of Dock Ellis)
dock ellis didnt think he would pitch that day
back in 1970
when he and his wife took a trip to the ballpark
a little bit differently
so by the time he hit the bullpen
half the world had melted away
thats about the time coach murtaugh said
hey dock your pitching today
taking the ground the mound turned into
the icing on a birthday cake
the lead off man came up and turned into
a dancing rattle snake
the crowd tracked back and forth
in waves of color under the sun
the ball turned into a silver bullett
his arm into a gun
i took a look all around the world one time
finally discovered
you cant judge a book
three up three down for three straight innings
in a zero zero tie
as all those batters names came ringing
from some voice out of the sky
hallucinating halloween scenes
each new swing of the bat
his sinker looked like it was falling off a table
but nobody was hallucinating that
i took a look all around the world one time
finally discovered
you cant judge a book
by the top of the fifth he was up one to nothing
and giving the padres fits
by the top of the seventh he was up two to nothing
and they still had’nt got any hits
with one out left to go in the game
the batter looked like a little child
the birthday caking was shaking
and those waves of color were going wild
when he finally mowed the last man down
he was high as he had ever been
laughing to the sound of the world going around
completely unaware of the win
and while the papers would say he was scattered that day
he was pretty as a pitcher could be
the day dock ellis of the pittsburg pirates
threw a no hitter on lsd
i took a look all around the world one time
finally discovered
you cant judge a book
My favorite unfortunate town/other name is the Topeka HS Trojans because they are the main rival of Seaman HS, also in Topeka. Football cheers go something like, “Trojans stop the Seaman.”
Whenever I drive by Effingham I always think, “I’m so hungry I could eat a whole effing ham.”
The headline writers in Topeka always have a heyday when Seaman plays Topeka High.
Fighting Seaman able to penetrate Trojan line.
Trojans swarming defense able to dismantle Seaman attack.
I’m a fan of Ben Folds and I can’t wait to listen to the Nils Lofgren song.