Banny Log: Worst Human Ever

Posted: February 4th, 2009 | Filed under: Banny Log | 30 Comments »

This is so mind boggling, I cannot even believe it.

In case, you don’t want to click on it: That’s a story about former Kansas City Royals/New York Mets pitcher Ambiorix Burgos. You might recall that Burgos was traded straight up for our favorite pitcher Brian Bannister.

Banny, you probably know, is the greatest guy in the world.

And Burgos, it is now becoming clear, is desperately trying to become the worst.

Burgos was arrested in September, and here I’m pulling from the story that appeared in the New York Daily News, for “allegedly slamming his girlfriend against the wall at the Holiday Inn … He repeatedly punched her on the back, bit her and slapped her, prosecutors said.”

Well, hey, those were prosecutors, right? Maybe they exaggerated.

Burgos was arrested in October in Santo Domingo, and here I’m pulling from the Associated Press story: “Ambiorix Burgos was driving an SUV when it slammed into two women who later died of their injuries, police said.” It was a hit and run, and Burgos turned himself in a week later. It was in the second story that the AP reported, almost in passing, that Burgos also faced an unrelated illegal weapon charge.

Then comes the story we linked. A fellow ballplayer in the Dominican named Felix Gatico Martinez says that Burgos TWICE tried to shoot him after a heated argument they had during — we cannot make up this stuff — during a dominoes game.

I remember a scout calling me after the Royals traded Burgos to the Mets for Bannister. You know, there were some around baseball who thought the Royals were off for making that deal. Burgos could throw 98 mph. He had a devastating split-fingered fastball. He was clearly not going to be one of the five Burgos family members to appear on Family Feud, if you know what I mean, but if there are 100 people surveyed, top three answers on the board, name a pitch that gets people out — a 98 mph fastball would probably be the number one answer.

Anyway, there were mixed feelings about the trade, and this scout calls me and tells me that it’s great for the Royals. He had a lot of good things to say about Banny, all of which were right — guy’s makeup is off the charts, his fastball isn’t hard but it has some late movement, he has outstanding command and so on. And I said, “What about Burgos?”

And he said two words: “Bad guy.”

30 Comments on “Banny Log: Worst Human Ever”

  1. 1: David said at 11:17 pm on February 4th, 2009:

    I’m going out on a limb here, but I think that scout may have been on to something.

  2. 2: Francis Morrone said at 11:29 pm on February 4th, 2009:

    FYI, the Dominicans take dominoes *very* seriously. I’m not kidding.

  3. 3: Curtis said at 11:53 pm on February 4th, 2009:

    True enough, Francis.

    I have never really been in a fight – I am a big man, so sober men don’t start anything and I pretty much steer clear of non-sober situations – but I have been on the edge of three fights. One of them was at a Florida State – Miami football game circa 2001. One of them was at a sports bar when the Chiefs beat the Patriots when they missed a last second field goal, in what remains one of the most bizarre afternoons of my life. And the third was about three years ago when I happened to be helping my brother do some mission work in Haiti, end up in a game of dominoes, and inadvertantly break some ethical code of dominoes I didn’t know existed. My Spanish isn’t good enough, and so I still remain fuzzy on the details. Happily, no weapons were drawn, and I lived to tell the tale.

    Of course, none of that excuses the behavior. But if you had said the fight started during a game of pinochle, I would have thought you were full of it. But dominoes, in the Dominican, I was nodding.

  4. 4: Rany Jazayerli said at 12:00 am on February 5th, 2009:

    Joe, I think you might be missing the best (worst?) part: “when the also professional, Felix – Gatico- Martinez accused him of trying to kill him.”

    Felix Martinez? THE Felix Martinez? The guy the Royals were trying to sell as their shortstop of the future back in the mid-90s? The same guy who hit 19-for-123 (.154) over three seasons, and whose most memorable moment came when he sucker-punched Frank Bolick during a massive brawl with the Angels in 1998?

    Wow. The only thing this story is missing is Ugueth Urbina with his machete. And Julio Machado with his gun.

  5. 5: bmorten said at 2:24 am on February 5th, 2009:

    well, he sure doesn’t sound like someone you’d want hanging out with your kid sister, but ‘worst human ever’ might be a bit over the top, in a world that spawned the 3rd reich, and 911, and rwanda..and on and on and on..but i have to say, as a royals fan, i was quite pleased when the royals moved him on down the road, but only because he never struck me (unintentional pad pun) as a ‘true royal’-type player.

  6. 6: stephen said at 7:59 am on February 5th, 2009:

    Robert Mugabe has a devastating split finger fastball. MAybe the Royals can sign him?

  7. 7: Stos said at 8:19 am on February 5th, 2009:

    I remember being annoyed when the Mets shipped Bannister out of town, mainly because he’s a starting pitcher and I always think it’s unwise to move a starter for a middle reliever, no matter how hard they throw.

    Now, as if all his injuries weren’t enough, it turns out the dood’s insane to boot. If there’s any compensation, it’s that Bannister hasn’t turned into Greg Maddux just yet…….but still….awful.

  8. 8: Bellylard said at 8:36 am on February 5th, 2009:

    We can be pretty sure this article wasn’t Burgossed-written.

  9. 9: Grant said at 8:58 am on February 5th, 2009:

    Yeah, so the scout called him a bad guy, but wasn’t his GDARP (Good Deeds Above Replacement Player) the worst in the majors the last three years? I mean, check out these numbers:

    2008 GDARP – -7.2 – That’s worse than Sidney Ponson!
    2007 GDARP – -3.4 – He didn’t once pick up the tab for the postgame strippers
    2006 GDARP – -8.4 – Once again worse than Ponson!

    Who needs a scout when you can get the numbers to tell you the exact same thing? For contrast, Banny totaled a 25.4 GDARP the last three years, which was good for third-best in the majors.

  10. 10: Man in Black said at 9:18 am on February 5th, 2009:

    You had to wonder about Burgos’ intelligence, guy was throwing 98 in games but couldn’t throw a strike. You know the coaches were telling him to throw 94mph strikes and the guy just wouldn’t listen. Also, he was throwing 98 the first week of spring training with the Mets. And he blows out his elbow? Shocking.

    Curtis- Nice pinochle reference. I’d play with you anytime.

  11. 11: esquinazo said at 10:14 am on February 5th, 2009:

    Oh, it gets even worse . . .

    (The “Even Worster” Worst Human Ever)

    Most of the versions of the SUV hit-and-run I’ve read cite witnesses who say that he hit the two women intentionally, because one of them had rejected his sexual advances.

  12. 12: Jake (San Diego) said at 11:14 am on February 5th, 2009:

    I, also, have been a witness to dominoes fights in Haiti, and can easily imagine the same thing happening in its neighboring country, the DR…

  13. 13: Tampa Mike said at 1:46 pm on February 5th, 2009:

    A 98 mph fastball does not a good pitcher make.

    They done good with Banny.

  14. 14: bennyball said at 3:53 pm on February 5th, 2009:

    Rany wrote –
    “Wow. The only thing this story is missing is Ugueth Urbina with his machete. And Julio Machado with his gun.”

    Don’t forget a pants-less Chico Lind.

  15. 15: Owen said at 4:35 pm on February 5th, 2009:

    Undoubtedly this will lead to a standard questionnaire that could go with the standard physical before acquiring a player. It would have questions like “Are you crazy? Like not just quirky sense of humor, but are you f***ing psychotic? Check yes, no or kind of. If they just had that the Mets would still have Banny, but some days I’m not sure we deserve him.

  16. 16: Jimmuscomp said at 4:42 pm on February 5th, 2009:

    If it is in fact THAT Felix Martinez that would be a hoot. BTW, Rany that was Jarrod Washburn’s MLB debut, methinks.

    Looking it up….

    Yep, seems to have been his debut. I remember because I am a big Halos fan and hoped Washburn would be a good addition to the rotation – and he was for a few years.

    Game Log

  17. 17: Banny Log: Worst Human Ever » Joe Posnanski said at 4:44 pm on February 5th, 2009:

    [...] Original post by Joe Posnanski [...]

  18. 18: My Pet Goat said at 10:35 am on February 6th, 2009:

    Hey, bmorten! What defines a “true royal player”: is it their appalling deficit of on-field success or perhaps their potential marketability to more discerning franchises?

  19. 19: My Pet Goat said at 10:37 am on February 6th, 2009:

    I know, a true Royal player is defined by his fairness of skin, right?

  20. 20: johandav said at 10:49 am on February 6th, 2009:

    I’m a Mets fan, and I pitched (no pun intended) a fit when I heard about this trade. A good young starting pitcher with great promise and who’d done well for you in his first call up – the most valuable commodity in baseball – for a middle relief pitcher who couldn’t throw strikes. Unbelievable. The only thing you can say about this trade from the Mets perspective is that it’s not as bad as Kazmir for Zambrano. (The WRONG Zambrano!)

  21. 21: Fergie Jenkins said at 10:54 am on February 6th, 2009:

    If there was a World Lowlife Classic where baseball players competed to see who could behave in the most reprehensible way, the DR could field an unbeatable team.

  22. 22: Mark H said at 11:46 am on February 6th, 2009:

    All I can say is, The Mets ended up with Beltran because of their cash and not their brains. The Royals’ “brains” leveled the score a little bit. If only the Yankees could be as smart as the Mets. :(

  23. 23: Robb said at 3:12 pm on February 6th, 2009:

    In response to My Pet Goat –

    Frank White is the exemplar of a ‘true royal-type player’.

  24. 24: ajnrules said at 5:13 pm on February 6th, 2009:

    Ambiorix Burgos got the win when I went to see a game at Shea. I remember being highly disappointed, and this was back in May of 2007, before all of his legal troubles.

  25. 25: Terry said at 6:20 pm on February 6th, 2009:

    As a Mets fan, I was thrilled with the trade. It is impossible not to be a Banny fan, but he simply is not very good and, while it violated the Starter for Reliever adage, I would trade the “fringy stuff, crafty” guy for the guy throwing 98 every single time. Its just unfortunate that this particular guy got hurt and turned out to be a one man crime wave.

  26. 26: bmorten said at 1:51 am on February 7th, 2009:

    in response to queries above, i reply that my definition of a ‘true royal player’ is a player with limited skills, endless guts, and at least a veneer of the hard to define ‘class’, which means sort of, a good citizen,..some of my all-time choices as ‘true royals’…frank white, freddy patek, dan quisenberry, george brett, hal mcrae, mike sweeney, willie wilson, floyd bannister, jerry lumpe, steve balboni, clint hurdle…and an honorable mention for willie mays aikens…there are others, i hope others can nominate them and jog my memory…but, in the end, i would say that, in my opinion, the number one alltime ‘true royal’ would be a tossup between frank white and freddie patek…for the love of the game.

  27. 27: bmorten said at 2:10 am on February 7th, 2009:

    instant addendum to previous post…re ‘true royals’…how could i fail to list…4 of my all-time favorite ‘born to be a royal’ players…amos otis…so good, so underrated, so much fun to watch…dick howser…satchel paige…charlie lau…and an honorary ‘true royal’ buck o’neal…and did i mention quiz? patek? and did i mention mr. kc royal baseball, the incomparable frank white?

  28. 28: James said at 9:08 pm on February 9th, 2009:

    I loved Burgy. I ordered a custom number 50 Burgos shirt a few years back, I felt dumb when he was traded. Whenever ‘Rompe’ came on and i’d see Burgos trotting out i’d get so pumped in the stands, whether or not the Royals had a chance at winning. The height of my love of Burgy was a night in August 2006, the Royals were about to sweep Boston. A few Boston guys were heckling me, apparently I wasn’t a real fan since the shirt I was wearing was the free one they handed out that night. Burgos faced the top of Boston’s lineup, Coco bunted safely and it was looking scary. I still believed in Burgy’s fastball. I was chanting something like, “I love you Burgy it’s ok.” killing them with kindness as they say. The three Boston guys continued being mean to me. A lady in the stands jumped to my defense, she implored the usher to do something about their behavior and yelled in their faces that they were being rude. Yada yada yada Burgy got an out on the 2 hitter, took care of Manny and Ortiz and we all went home happy.

    I found the Burgos stories last week oblivious to this posting. I’m happy I didn’t opt for the Burgos jersey, he really is a bad guy. Now I love Banny.

  29. 29: Hot News » Ugueth Urbina said at 7:10 pm on April 8th, 2009:

    [...] Senators preview with Will Bentzel of Senators Fans Unite « Bowie Baysox Blog…Banny Log: Worst Human Ever » Joe Posnanski…Urbina sentenced to 14 years in prison for attempted murder | News From All Over The World… [...]

  30. 30: Hot News » Willie Mays Aikens said at 11:20 am on May 22nd, 2009:

    [...] 1993, Locke called Aikens many times to establish a relationship with him. Usefull Posts Banny Log: Worst Human Ever » Joe Posnanski… « Jody Gerut Nemenhah Tribe » © 2009 http://hot-news.dreamhosters.com/ [...]

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