Toasty Wrap: The Wrath of Snuggie

Posted: January 15th, 2009 | Filed under: Pop Culture | 45 Comments »

Yes, I know, I said I was going dark, and instead I’m going to set a record for posts in one day. You probably saw that coming, though. However THIS can’t wait. This must be seen to be believed.

Thanks to the Great Amanda for pointing this out.

You think you the Snuggie was impressive? Wait until you see Montel Williams’ … The Toasty Wrap. The Ultimate Warming Machine! Use your laptop without getting cold. Enjoy a snack while staying snuggly warm. Could it be? Is it possible?

Oh yeah, it’s possible. Montel Williams is selling the Snuggie under the Witness Protection Program name of Toasty Wrap.

It’s staggering. That’s all. So, seriously, what are some other possible names for the Snuggie?

– The Comfy Cloak.

– The Plushy Poncho

– The Fall Shawl

– The Sweaty Teddy

– The Stupid Blanket With Holes

– The Robe-o-matic

– The Thermal Djellaba

– The Never Get A Date Again Wrap*

*I had not noticed before that the college girl who is sitting in the dorm room in her Snuggie/Toasty, well, she has like a psychedelic “Peace” poster on her wall. Are we supposed to believe this was set in 1969? I’m just imagining the director of the commercial and he/she is going, “Well, OK, she’s in college. What kind of posters do the college kids have on their walls these days? Peace posters, right? That’s what they had on their walls in the sitcoms of the early 1970s, I’m sure that hasn’t changed at all.”

– The Balmy Burnoose

– The Fleecie!

I’m not kidding. These Snuggie people are taking over the world.

45 Comments on “Toasty Wrap: The Wrath of Snuggie”

  1. 1: Gina said at 8:45 pm on January 15th, 2009:

    The Slanket!

    http://www.theslanket.com/

  2. 2: Brad said at 8:57 pm on January 15th, 2009:

    They’re even giving away the same reading light that they gave away with the Snuggle!

  3. 3: Dave B. said at 9:17 pm on January 15th, 2009:

    You’d think they might change the colors available, at least…

  4. 4: Dave B. said at 9:23 pm on January 15th, 2009:

    BTW, I went with Washington, Lincoln, both Roosevelts, and Jack Kennedy (overrated like Jeter, but HIS intangibles included Marilyn Monroe…)

  5. 5: Craig said at 9:30 pm on January 15th, 2009:

    HOLY CRAP!!! Its the same commercial video, but with a different voice over, that has to be illegal

  6. 6: Gina said at 9:34 pm on January 15th, 2009:

    The Fuggly!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_E9iUwWOkE

  7. 7: Stuart said at 9:47 pm on January 15th, 2009:

    Heh…watch the video closely (again), and you’ll see that the mom and her daughter are reading their book backwards! Does the Toasty Wrap work in Japan, too?

  8. 8: will betheboy said at 10:50 pm on January 15th, 2009:

    I love the shot of the family in the Toasty things roasting marshmallows because nothing bad has ever happened when a group of people in robes burned things, right?

  9. 9: David G said at 12:04 am on January 16th, 2009:

    Wizard Wear! I think the group at the football game makes the ad. I ran across the Snuggie at Bed Bath and Beyond the other day I opened the box. They are thinner than an airplane blanket. Someone is making a fortune on those bad boys.

    In other news…the Shamwow wow guy has got a new product…he has brought back some veggie chopper/dicer thing. He has the same headset though and he is only offering it “for a few minutes”

  10. 10: The (only occasionally) Great Amanda said at 12:16 am on January 16th, 2009:

    Ah, every bit as funny as I could have hoped. Seriously, the Toasty Wrap sounds like something you get at Quiznos.

  11. 11: Dan Cook said at 12:46 am on January 16th, 2009:

    Now you’re just stalling. Back to the book. (09/09/09)

  12. 12: Max said at 3:12 am on January 16th, 2009:

    Speaking of competition, Joe. You got one in this:

    http://72.3.226.219/splash/

  13. 13: Bentley Wright said at 6:47 am on January 16th, 2009:

    Don’t the slanket people look like the wackiest, coolest bunch ever? If you buy a slanket, do you think they’ll be your friends?

  14. 14: The Oriole Way said at 7:42 am on January 16th, 2009:

    We actually bought a slanket for my mother-in-law last year. She freakin’ loves that thing.

  15. 15: Tim said at 8:02 am on January 16th, 2009:

    How abut they call it…. a robe.

  16. 16: Nathan said at 8:42 am on January 16th, 2009:

    The KKK PJ! Don’t lose 75% of your body heat when you are peeling potatoes while watching “Rock of Love Bus”! The KKK PJ not only comes with holes for your arms, but a hood for your head, keeping your couch time productive and your ears freakishly warm!! (only available in white)

  17. 17: Yaro said at 8:53 am on January 16th, 2009:

    All I can say is…

    BEWARE OF IMITATORS!

    …beware

  18. 18: Jason @ IIATMS said at 8:54 am on January 16th, 2009:

    The Monk

  19. 19: AK said at 8:55 am on January 16th, 2009:

    Vince, with the Slap Chop:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUbWjIKxrrs&feature=related

    “You’re gonna love my nuts!”

    I just got done watching this and the ShamWow back-to-back, and I feel like I’ve somehow been contaminated.

    Does anyone else think this guy looks like Willem Dafoe’s illegitimate son??

  20. 20: Oddibe Kerfeld said at 9:03 am on January 16th, 2009:

    Joe,

    Why do you refuse to write about the awesome Obama Victory Plate?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIWmIJpNnSQ

    Every cool person on Tuesday will be wearing a Snuggie and eating their lunch off of an Obama Victory Plate while watching the inauguration. If you get rush delivery now you can still have your plate by Tuesday.

  21. 21: Bellylard said at 9:11 am on January 16th, 2009:

    I still miss the “isn’t that amazing” line that always accompanied the Ronco products. Since it’s not suggested to me that these are amazing products, I am unconvinced. Gratuitous use of “fabulous” sways me not.

  22. 22: Bookiemonster said at 9:17 am on January 16th, 2009:

    Has anyone noticed that the snuggie is essentially just a backwards bathrobe?

  23. 23: Bellylard said at 9:30 am on January 16th, 2009:

    If we are looking at a first class of Lincoln, Washington, Jefferson, and the Roosevelts, what would the second year be?

    Jackson (or is he banned beause of that Senate censure?)
    J Adams (A tad uptight. What did he actually accomplish as president? Pissing off Hamilton isn’t enough.)
    Polk (Did everything he promised in four years, but never cracked a joke. Even I wrote a Polk song once, though.)
    Truman (would you buy a suit from this guy? OK, we KNOW what that bomb can do now and where the buck USED to stop)
    Madison (bad form to let OUR house get burned, this is more of a football player move)
    Monroe (had a doctrine, but “era of good feelings” could have been PEDs, i.e. Presidentiality Enhancing Drunkeness)
    Cleveland (first term all-star, second term cranky veteran also-ran)
    Wilson (there is that Jim Crow he has to eat)
    Reagan (after they stop naming everything after this guy, maybe they’ll realize he just bought off the Russians)
    Clinton (who does he have to &%$@ to get in, &@#% it! The Arkansas ImPeach?)

    Nixon is Pete Rose.

  24. 24: Edward OP said at 10:04 am on January 16th, 2009:

    The new Vince thing is the “Slappy”, an enclosed vegetable chopper that you can also use for other applications…

    “You’re going to love my nuts.”

    Btw, Joe, I saw the ShamWOW! at Target in Lawrence earlier this week and a friend of mine bought one at Walmart in Shawnee ($19.99, no P&H). He hasn’t used it yet, though, so we have no comments about the quality.

  25. 25: Former Army Person said at 10:08 am on January 16th, 2009:

    Polk had high peak value but too short a career. Cleveland was just a compiler.

  26. 26: AK said at 10:11 am on January 16th, 2009:

    Edward OP – It’s the “Slap Chop” (see my post at # 19). “We’re gonna make America skinny again, one slap at a time!”

    I just put my full-length winter coat on backwards and I’m sitting at my desk – I’m warm, and I can still reach my phone or type on my computer!

  27. 27: Perry said at 10:12 am on January 16th, 2009:

    Hey, college kids still have psychedelic peace posters! I work on a university campus and spring semester just started, so the vendors jave their tables set up outside the student union selling posters and whatnot. And they’re all pretty much the same stuff I would have seen 35 years ago when I was a student. What I saw at a glance while walking past: Muhammmed Ali, Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, the Beatles, Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin, James Dean, Al Pacino (ca. The Godfather). These kids apparently have no culture, so they’ve pinched ours.

  28. 28: deathsinger said at 11:49 am on January 16th, 2009:

    Nathan,

    How about watching “The Birth of a Nation?”

  29. 29: Owen said at 12:24 pm on January 16th, 2009:

    You know what charming adults do at home? Play backgammon! Well, not all of them actually, because some are hopelessly trapped under blankets.

    By the way, did you hear about the posthumous Dr. Seuss release about the war between the Snerks who wear Snuggies and the Twerks who wear Toasty Warms? A new classic.

    Can we all agree that it’s only a matter of time before the Twins, Brewers and eventually all the teams wear these to stay warm in their dugouts? They’ll feel all snuggly warm, and be able to do everything they could before. I bet MBM demands to wear one while playing, and doesn’t try that hard until they let him.

  30. 30: Nathan said at 12:46 pm on January 16th, 2009:

    deathsinger-

    “Birth of a Nation” would be good, though, in retrospect it should have been “Roots”.

  31. 31: Mark said at 4:55 pm on January 16th, 2009:

    Joe & Readers – CNBC is hosting a bracket style contest for Best As-Seen on TV Product of All Time.

    http://www.cnbc.com/id/28693606

    Go vote for the Snuggie.

  32. 32: I miss fjm said at 6:45 pm on January 16th, 2009:

    John Gruden next Chiefs coach!!! I want the Gruden face at Arrowhead. I need the Gruden face at Arrowhead. Deep down we all want Gruden on that wall.

  33. 33: Chipmaker said at 7:45 pm on January 16th, 2009:

    Ever since I read your first Snuggie column, I’ve been getting Snuggie email spam. Coincidence? I surely hope so.

  34. 34: james said at 7:58 pm on January 16th, 2009:

    The Slanket sounds like a blanket that a cheap girl of loose morals would wear.

  35. 35: Jacob said at 12:39 am on January 17th, 2009:

    The Warminator!

  36. 36: Lucas Gray said at 9:38 am on January 17th, 2009:

    http://www.infomercial-hell.com/blog/2008/11/25/blanket-with-sleeves-grudge-match-slanket-vs-snuggie/

    check this blog with a whole review of the most rediculous Informercial ever.

  37. 37: Bucky said at 4:46 pm on January 17th, 2009:

    I love that there is “one easy payment” of $19.95 for the Toasty Wrap. I always thought the idea of the payment plan was to spread out the money being spent.

  38. 38: Kevin said at 6:30 pm on January 17th, 2009:

    Why don’t any of these have gloves at the end of the sleeves? Who’s going to invent Snuggie version 2.0?

  39. 39: John said at 9:59 pm on January 17th, 2009:

    They use the same commercial!!

  40. 40: Andy Reid's scraggly beard said at 4:25 pm on January 18th, 2009:

    How about a Snuggie made out of that Sham Wow material? You wouldn’t even need to leave the couch to go to the bathroom!

  41. 41: JohnFrat.us » Today’s Report - January 19th said at 12:02 pm on January 19th, 2009:

    [...] Toasty Wrap: The Wrath of Snuggie. More Snuggie “news” from Joe! And from the comments: CNBC is running a Infomercial [...]

  42. 42: Edward OP said at 9:38 am on January 21st, 2009:

    I saw Snuggies on sale at Bed, Bath & Beyond at 119th & Metcalf last weekend.

    How the mighty have fallen.

  43. 43: Marty said at 11:27 am on January 22nd, 2009:

    Exactly how is this different from a robe worn backwards?

  44. 44: 3rd Period Points said at 3:03 am on January 29th, 2009:

    I’m not sure if this Snuggie parody link has already been posted (video contains some foul language):

    http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1897842

  45. 45: Vina said at 12:26 pm on November 3rd, 2009:

    It’s so stewpod!

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