What did Delaware? Idaho. Alaska!
Posted: November 16th, 2008 | Filed under: Baseball, Other Sports | 100 Comments »
So, I was in Cincinnati for a reunion of the Big Red Machine — did I mention I’m writing a book? — and it was a lot of fun, and there were all sorts of hilarious items that I will try to share, but for the moment I have to discuss an important matter.
Namely: The sports jersey with your name on the back.
I think I have about 17 million of these jerseys now with my name on the back. The only one I bought for myself was, oddly enough, a personalized New York Islanders jersey that I bought when I was, like, 18 years old. I became a pretty big Islanders fan then because of my high school buddy Rob, and because I loved Mike Bossy. Also, I figured that since Cleveland no longer had a hockey team*, I was more or less free to pick and choose.
*Poor Cleveland Barons.
And because, I had inherited this horrendous sports legacy of Browns, Indians and Cavaliers — through no fault of my own — I felt like I DESERVED one winning franchise. Just one. I had earned that. So I picked the Islanders, who had won four consecutive Stanley Cups. Of course, as soon as I picked the Islanders, they stopped winning Stanley Cups, and the Edmonton Oilers took over, and I despised the OIlers and, then the Islanders became a fiasco, and yes, it is just abundantly clear that I am doomed to never, ever have any connection to a winning franchise.** It’s like my Superpower or something.
**Which reminds me that I have not really written about how my season is going as a Fulham FC fan in the Premier League. I suppose that I have not really had much to write about yet. I have been way too busy working my five jobs to really get into it, though I will say that have kept my eye on them and was happy to see Fulham finish off Tottenham-Hotspur on an Andrew Johnson goal in the second half. Is it cool to say someone scored in the second half in soccer or are you supposed to really break it down to the minute — Johnson scored in the 69th minute? Why don’t we do that in pro football? “And then in the 41st minute, Manning threw to Addai for the touchdown.†Why don’t we do that in baseball? “And then in the 179th minute, A-Rod homered to give the Yankees an 8-7 lead over Baltimore. That was the fourth inning.â€
I still need to full integrate myself into Fulham life, but I do feel good about my choice. A good friend of mine Chuck Culpepper, who wrote this hilarious and wonderful book about being an American in English soccer, wrote to me from London to say that picking Fulham was a lot like picking the Atlanta Hawks as your favorite team — no great character, no great history and no real chance of breaking through. Yes, it seems like I have picked my kind of team.
ANYWAY, for reasons that would be pointless and confusing to explain, I have two Kansas City Royals jerseys, one Milwaukee Brewers jersey, one Cleveland Browns jersey, one Oakland Athletics jersey, one Atlanta Hawks jersey (yes), and, now, a 1975 Cincinnati Reds jersey, all with my name on the back. All of them were gifts of some kind. The personalized 1975 jersey, the latest addition to the closet, was a gift for spending a gargantuan amount of money to be at the Big Red Machine Reunion dinner*.
*For the money, I also got a personalized bottle of Makers Mark and in a sudden and bizarre turn, a handshake from pop singer Nick Lachey. Don’t even ask how that happened. He seemed like a nice guy though.
So here’s my problem: I obviously will not wear these personalized jerseys n public. They are pretty nice — the Brewers jersey in particular is VERY nice. But, come on, I can’t walk around wearing jerseys that have my name on the back, can I? Seriously, I need a ruling on this. It seems to me there is no cool way to walk around wearing a sports jersey with your name on the back. OK, maybe if your name is Johnson or James or Cobb or Urlacher you could get away with it. But man with my big honking name filling out my back, it makes me look like some kind of egomaniacal self-billboard. I keep thinking of that scene from City Slickers where Bruno Kirby wears that jacket with his own picture on it.
Billy Crystal: “I really wish you hadn’t worn that jacket.â€
Kirby: What’s wrong with it?
Crystal: Look at it. It’s got your name and your picture on it. It’s a little grotesque.
Kirby: I’m proud of what I do.
Daniel Stern: So is the President — he doesn’t wear a picture on his suit.
So, what to do? I can’t really wear these jerseys. On the other hand, I can’t give them away — who would want a sports jersey with MY name on it? And I can’t give them to charity for the same obvious reason. Also, they were gifts.
What to do. The decisions of middle age. I’m driving back home today — and I’ll wear my 1975 Reds jersey. I think it’s OK to wear in the car. Also I’ll wear a jacket over it.*
*You know the joke from the headline, right? “If Mississippi bought Missouri a New Jersey, what will Delaware? Idaho. Alaska.†It’s big with the kids. Or, anyway, the kids from 1911.
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It’s not cool, but I think it’s really because you look like a dork. Without the name you’re probably ok, or a player’s name.
Not “you” specifically Joe. It was meant as a collective anyone who does that looks like a dork. Where’s the edit button anyways?
You have made the right decision.
It’s an age issue to me. In your 20s you can wear a lot of stuff that don’t look so good when you’re in your 40s (as I am). I voted no, but as they say on the Internets, YMMV.
At a certain age there are really only two occasions where it is appropriate to wear a sports jersey, regardless of whether there is a name on the back. In the privacy of your own home while rooting on your favorite team and on Halloween.
The only time I thought of wearing a personalized jersey was when I was briefly unemployed, because it fit the image. Otherwise, no one with a job should be wearing a personalized anything.
OK, 40 votes in and I’m the only one in the yes column. Maybe that’s why I’ve been getting those looks walking down the street?
I say wear them with pride!
Come on, Joe. You don’t think there are some sports fans, particularly fellow but less-successful bloggers, that wouldn’t want a Posnanski jersey? That’s a pretty awesome way to get your dork on.
If only out of curiosity, put one of the jerseys up on Ebay, with the proceeds going to charity, and see what happens.
Living in Indianapolis my friend and I have devised certain rules of dorkdom when wearing jerseys.
1. Your name on back of jersey. Unless you’re younger than 18, I’m going to guess you’ll never play for the team. This is made worse if you get what can only be assumed to be your high school football number and have your name on it.
2. Jersey tucked into pants.
3. Innocuous white guy jersey. This is big in Indianapolis, where four years ago, I swear Brandon Stokely was the most popular jersey sold. Look I can understand not getting star players, I can respect a Jeff Saturday jersey, but if you’re going for a skill position player and have decided that Brandon Stokeley is a better option than Peyton Manning, Marvin Harrison, or Reggie Wayne, than I don’t know what to say to you.
I am ashamed to ask, can someone explain the joke to me? I can follow along right through “what will Delaware?” but I can’t make sense of “Idaho. Alaska.”
[...] Billy Crystal : “I really wish you hadn’t worn that jacket.†Kirby: What’s wrong with it? Read more [...]
As in, “I don’t know. I’ll ask her.”
but I can’t make sense of “Idaho. Alaska.â€
“I don’t know. I’ll ask her.”
I voted “No” as well but those sound like pretty cool gifts. Do you have a ‘Sports memorabilia” room in your house? You could display the jerseys there perhaps.
Or open a restaurant called “Pozta Sauce” or something and display them there.
I think they are okay to wear to the ball game of the team that you are graciously sponsoring. Who cares if you look like a dork (especially if you are going to a Chiefs game).
Forgot to mention that certain jerseys (personalized or not) become less and less OK to wear as you get older. I would say in order of expiration date:
1) Basketball
2) Soccer
3) Hockey
4) Baseball
5) Football
It’s no dorkier to wear a jersey with your own name than it is to wear one with someone else’s name. God, the sight of a grown man wearing Manny Ramirez’s jersey like Manny’s his boyfriend or something makes me barf.
That said, I’d wear a “24″ Red Sox jersey with no name on the back simply because Dwight Evans was my favorite player as a kid and I wore 24 after that in every sport I played.
I have to agree with Ben. You should put them up for auction, Joe, though I would pass on using e-bay. Use your blog to keep it more in the family. I think you’d be surprised at how spirited the bidding would be. Who, knows? Maybe some time in the future you’ll write a book on the Reds or something and you could use the money for research.
I never saw that joke with Idaho instead of I don’t know. Perhaps because that’s the only one that’s a stretch to fit in.
If Mrs. Sippi gave Miss Zouri her new jersey, what would Della wear?
I don’t know, but I’ll ask her.
I think Ben brings up a good point, that while wearing a jersey with one’s own name on it is kind of lame, wearing a personalized jersey of someone else, say, a Posnanski Reds jersey, would be mad cool.
It’s just visually jarring for someone else to see the familiar jersey with a strange name on it. Besides, fans usually identify with one or two players on their favorite team more than the others, right? They remind the fan of themselves because maybe they’re also kind of short, run funny, and throw the same way the fan did when they were playing the same position in high school. Wouldn’t that be a better name to have on the back, rather than your own? A little less of a fantasy, anyway.
Thanks for asking Adam, I didn’t get that part either.
I really never thought I’d read about how Joe despised my hometown Oilers in this space. Heart-warming.
I’ll agree with the consensus, its never ok to wear a jersey with your own name on it in public. As for the others who panned wearing any jerseys – the rule is once you’re over the age of majority, you may only wear sports jerseys in two situations. First, when you are actually attending a sporting event involving that team. Second, when you are part of a gathering of fans of that team to watch the event on television. Wearing your Beltran jersey to the grocery store = no.
“What did Delaware? Idaho. Alaska!” Does anyone besides me really wish they told this joke at the Vice Presidential debate : Joe Biden (Delaware) and Sarah Palin (Alaska)?
I agree with the idea of putting one up for auction and seeing what happens.
Wearing personalized jerseys in public – sporting event or not – has always screamed “I’m a tool” to me. That’s a lot of money to spend on yourself.
I say it’s definitely ok to wear them around the house though if the laundry is backed up or you’re having a ‘blob around the house’ day. Although, with kids you probably don’t get many of those anymore.
Also, depending on the material, they could work as pajama shirts for you or your wife.
No need to explain to Reds fans why Nick Lachey would be there. He’s replaced Charlie Sheen as our franchise’s preeminent celebrity fan / hanger-on.
I would wear a jersey with your name on the back, Joe. I’m just saying….
I agree with Ian; I’d wear a Posnanski jersey. But I’d never wear one with my own name unless I actually wore it in a game I played in.
So you jinxed my New York Isles? I didn’t even get to see any cups before you came along and ruined us.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
Along with Poznanski jerseys, if you can get access to any old “Pound the Poz” t-shirts, put them up as well. I’d wear one of those in a heartbeat.
That’s “Posnanski,” of course. I was too busy thinking about the latter part of the post.
I actually bought a personalized Blue Jays jersey with my name and old number on it. In my defense, I was very drunk when I ordered it over the internet. I wear it when I watch Jays games, but I’m under no illusions that it isn’t a truly dorky thing to own and to wear. That said, it is funny for my friends, and it is a nice jersey.
Alaska wasn’t a state in 1911.
There is no scenario where wearing a jersey with your name on the back is acceptable. None. Frankly I’m disappointed you had to bring this to public vote. I thought this was one of the first of the anti-douchebag rules (passed c. 1990).
I wear my Mariano Rivera jersey exclusively to Yankees games, which is really kind of perverse now that I think about it. I got this it as a gift, but it costs like $100. And then extra because I had to have the patches. And then I’m paying for tickets once or twice a year for the right to bust out this jersey. And the only people who even know it’s a Mo jersey are the people sitting behind me (which, considering my typical seats, aren’t very many).
I should go to Spring Training and get Mo to sign it and then just frame it. And that’s what you should do with your Posnanski jerseys: frame them. Explain to everyone who asks that they were cool gifts from X. Everyone knows you’re a sports writer. It’s acceptable.
A personalized jersey is definitely not OK.
And anyone that wears a personalized jersey with the number 69 on it should be shot on sight.
Also, I think I figured out when I was 5 that wearing a jersey with matching hat (except at a game) makes you look like a huge ass. I’m always shocked when I see that in public.
Far be it for me to ever pass judgment on another man’s choice of clothing. I mean, even having an opinion on this subject seems the pinnacle of dorkdom.
Thankfully, I advanced to the Pinnacle of Dorkdom long ago.
As long as you wear your personalized jersey with one of those titanium necklaces that Josh Beckett wears, you’re cool.
The jersey with your name on it is definately not good. But it is light years ahead of the 40 year old man wearing a jersey with a player’s name on it. Talk about a jock sniffer. Now if the player is retired, then you may be allowed to wear it but only to a game. Then it depends on the player. It has to a true, indisputable icon. So Montana = OK, but Grbac = jackass.
“The fabric of society is very complex.”
1) Frame the one you got from the Big Red Machine dinner.
2) Give the rest to your daughter when she’s old enough. If nothing else, halloween costumes.
3) Or, barring that, you could donate them to be auctioned for charity or used as prizes.
No it is not cool to wear a jersey with your name on it. But getting the generic jersey with no name just means you can’t make a commitment. Unless your team doesn’t have names on their jerseys – then having the name is massively uncool (paging 75% of Yankees fans)
I kinda doubt you’d get much on eBay for them, by the way.
I’ve always thought it was pretty lame for a fan to wear a jersey with his own name on it. But there is one thing lamer: people who wear jerseys with their message board nicknames on them. Believe it or not, some people actually do that.
You could put the jerseys in shadowboxes and line the walls of your basement/man cave/den with them. At least at that point, they are decorative and have the value of being a collection hobby. That way, people know you have them, but you don’t have to wear them. Then, when you’re there by yourself, you can take them out and wear them there.
Send me your “Posnanski” browns jersey.
In return, I’ll wear it to 5 inappropriate places of your choosing (funeral parlors, fancy restaurants, etc) and send you pictures of myself in uniform (complete with sh*t eating grin) to post on your blog.
And yes, I’m too old to wear a jersey in public.
Save the jerseys for your kids or have your wife make a quilt out of them – I’m sure she’ll enjoy that!
My husband has a Patriots jersey with his name on it – he owns it because his brother played for them (cant have you thinking that I married a dork). He wears it once a year to his fantasy football draft – that’s already kind of a dorky event and it may serve to intimidate the others in the league by reminding them of his superior football pedigree. Anyway, I think that’s an acceptable use and frequency of use – especially for a gift. I’m sure you could come up with a similar once-a-year event where it’s okay to be a sports dork, and I’m sure you have nothing better to do with your time.
Glad to see you’ve been following the Fulham. As a yank, I say “AJ scored in the second half”, but I will steer some Brits your way to get the definitive answer.
Also big with the kids:
What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
I think after graduating from college, you shouldn’t wear the jersey. However, wearing them in your own house, or at a house party of a buddy where y’all are just watching the game..go for it.
Frame them, with just the fronts showing. Would make a basement look fecking awesome. Then, join a softball team, get your name on a jersey, win the championship for the league.. then frame that with the back side showing!
Since you obviously wouldn’t wear these in a work situation, wear what you want to wear on your own time,
“Cool” is overrated. And usually stupid.
Wear what you want, when you want to.
Personalized jerseys are fine:
a) At games of that team, especially in hockey. Bonus points if the jersey is an old style, even more if a style that qualifies as “classic throwback”
2) Watching a suitable game, whether alone or with friends, even if in public (sports bar, etc)
c) Fantasy draft.
That said, frame the Reds jersey.
I bet if you contracted with Mitchell & Ness for some vintage 1977 Indians #18 “Posnanski” jerseys you could sell a couple.
As for me, I used to love the idea of a fully customized jersey, but at this point I’m happy with a simple #25 (my number) on the ones I can get.
I have kids who are 7 and 5 and they want jerseys with their names. I thought it would be cool for my son named jackson to get a jersey of someone with the last name of jackson so it serves both purposes. Maybe a Royals Jackson #16. He wanted a Packers jersey but their only Jackson is Brandon and no one has a clue who that is.
Also, it’s still ok to wear jerseys with the actual player names on the back, right? If not I’ll cancel the Aaron Rodgers one on the way.
Wearing your own name on the back is FAR less lame for an adult than wearing a current player’s name on your back. On the other hand, I would be happy to wear a Chuck Foreman jersey, or Lieebrew…my rule is that you have to have been a kid when they played (or not yet born when they played).
That said, I will bid on one of your jerseys, especially the Reds one. I am a chunkified male a bit over 6 feet tall. I would wear the Reds Posnanski jersey with pride! And I will donate the money to your favorite charity.
I’m surprised nobody else addressed this, so I guess I’ll have to. You talk about scoring happening in the xth minute with soccer, because saying what half it happened in tells you very little–was it in stoppage time or right after the second half kickoff? Big difference. Also, the count-up clock. When you’re watching a match, you see the total time elapsed (as I’m sure you’re aware) instead of the time left in the period. It’s just natural and logical to say, “Keane scored in the 75th minute,” rather than, “Keane scored with 15 minutes left in the second.” The contrast with football should be clear enough, but I want to point out how completely silly it would be to talk about baseball scoring this way. Baseball doesn’t have a clock, the games don’t start right when they’re supposed to, some (9-inning) games last around 2 hours and some last well over 3, etc. With football you could at least translate “Manning threw a TD pass in the 56th minute” into “Manning threw a TD pass with 4 minutes left in the 4th.” With baseball, though…yikes.
Hope that clears up the confusion, Joe.
No one over age 30 should wear a jersey, period, your name or an athlete’s name, unless it’s your son or daughter. Then again, I’m old-fashioned and think that menswear has deteriorated since its heyday under the haberdasher President, Harry Truman.
I’m a gray haired guy in my forties, and have four different kinds of Royals jersies without names on the back, which I wear to Royals games (I attend about a dozen games a year). Should I leave them home from now on?
What’s the rule for sports bars?
I think personalized jerseys are kinda goofy, but I’m not sure that my Zach Greinke Royals jersey or Ray Rice Rutgers jersey (no name on that one) are any less silly on a grown man.
Back when I lived in New Jersey, a bit outside NYC, I always thought it was kind of cool when people wore jerseys to the sports bar just because, in a place like that where people come from all over the country, it was fun to see the jerseys of lots of different teams. I believe that one Sunday I counted fans of 22 teams (including one other Chiefs fan, so I felt less lonely). Of course, that was also the day that Trent Green got the big concussion against Cinci, so maybe not such a great memory after all.
My ruling on this is that you can not buy jersey with your name on the back.
However, I am holding out hope that some how, J.P. Howell ends up pitching for the Red Sox. I mean it wouldn’t be my name per see at that point would it?
It’s never cool to wear a jersey with your name on the back. I would wear a throwback jersey with a HOF player’s name (Brett, Gibson, Killebrew). But only to a game or sports bar.
Anyone who paints their face or wears a cheesehead or arrowhead hat is a total dork.
Just my 2 cents………………
I voted with the consensus because it is remarkably dorky to wear a jersey with your own name on it in the vast majority of circumstances. At my age (40) it’s also dorky to wear ANY jersey in the vast majority of circumstances. There are, however, a couple of exceptions in my opinion.
1. As Joe notes, it’s okay to wear a jersey of a real player who shares your name, so Joe is golden as soon as the Brewers draft some guy named Fred Posnanski.
2. It’s somewhat hip to pick a genuinely obscure player of your favorite team and get a jersey with his name on it. For instance, a die-hard Royals fan with a “Zdeb, 19″ jersey would be way too funny to be dorky, in my view.
3. Combining exceptions 1 and 2 above would definitely not be dorky. Perfect example, my son is named Sam, so a #22 Sammy White throwback Red Sox jersey would be the very definition of cool for him.
I don’t have a jersey with my name on the back of it, but I still proudly wear my Sunday red Barry Larkin jersey when making my annual trip to Cincinnati.
Don’t worry too much about what anybody else thinks — unless you know they’re buying your next book!
BTW, nice site … you and I met in Greensburg, Kan., you may (or may not) recall.
Brian
I’m in for the Posnanski Jersey auction, just tell me when and where
Ok, new question…
What about the new “personalized jersey t shirts” that they make now(which are also a lot cheaper, like 22 bucks) I ordered my Rodgers #12 t-shirt and I wear it, well, everywhere. Usually I try to narrow it down to Thursday poker night and watching the Packers on Sunday. But it has seen a grocery store or two.
You know what, I do want to know what your guy’s take is on this but it really won’t affect the shirt usage.
My next Royals jersey t-shirt (I have 5: Seitzer, Macfarlane, Greinke, Gordon, and Soria) might just have to be a Posnanski #99 shirt.
We’re with you, Crusaders!
Every step* of the way!
* Which might have been the problem: if your hockey team is taking STEPS, it might not be the best hockey team ever **.
** It wasn’t.
As the response indicates, you should definitely auction off the shirts– autographed, of course. When we have your inevitable testimonial dinner, everyone will want one to wear.
As to wearability, there is no clothing item that is not appropriate for SOME occasion.
“Josh
So you jinxed my New York Isles? I didn’t even get to see any cups before you came along and ruined us.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOo”
Jersey? A more basic question … Joe when are you moving? After reading the Islander info, I know why there is a lack of championships in K.C. Seems it started wtih your arrival??? Hehehehe!!!!
I think it’s OK to wear a jersey with your name on the back – provided its a real player and not a custom job. I still rock my Penguins “Ron Francis” jersey every now and then. He was a great player and team captain.
I don’t see anything wrong with Cody Houshmandzadeh* repping his favorite Bengals player.
* of course I had to look it up.
Just a point of clarification. Is it okay to wear jerseys for players no longer playing for that team? Can I still wear my Iverson Nuggets jersey? What about my Derrick Thomas Chiefs one?
I believe an Atlanta Falcons jersey with the number 7 and “MEXICO” or “R. MEXICO” would be acceptable to wear.
I always wanted a jersey that literally said “YOUR NAME” on the back of it…any jersey at all…
It is acceptable to wear a personalized jersey if you are a child, in fact its about the coolest thing possible right? I mean when you’re 10 there is nothing better than showing off your new jersey complete with name on the back. However as an adult, it’s not cool. F.A.C.T. If you want a name on the back get your favourite player or else just don’t bother.
I believe I read somewhere that the NFL does not allow you to get a personalized Falcons jersey reading Mexico or R. Mexico.
It better be ok to wear jerseys of players that no longer play for the team. I still proudly sport my authentic Dale Carter #34 to Arrowhead when I can get tickets…
… hey, stop laughing. That jersey cost a lot of money!
Besides, if anyone questions a jersey with a player that’s departed the team you can claim current trends as your defense and say, “It’s a throwback, yo.”*
*I think that’s how the kids say it.
Obviously, the truly cool thing to do is to fly in the face of convention and conformity. Wear the jerseys in every possible circumstance for the next several years. Then, when young people establish personalized names jersies as the next big thing (asd they will no doubt do), you will be recalled fondly as the guy who was ahead of the curve and therefor the coolest man in the universe.
Like Jimy Williams.
That guy wore a straight-brimmed cap for YEARS, before it was the fashion. We used to think he was a dork. “Hey! Jimy. You dork! Bend the brim of your cap, for Godssakes!!”
Little did we know, Jimy was, in fact the Coolest Man in the Universe, circa 1988. Here’s your chance Joe. Wear those jerseys. In 2020, we’ll all be marvelling about how incredibly, cooly prescient your were!!
The Uni Watch on the SI (or ESPN, or one of those national things I don’t read nearly as often as I read this) often has funny photos of uber-dorks wearing long-passe jerseys. (Now I wish I had a non-ASCII keyboard as I needed two special characters there….)
I think the faces should be smeared as those guys are as bad as the alleged murderers who get their faces digitally blurred. Who wears such a thing? There are several possibilities:
1) You are so pitiful and lame you imagine you are that person
2) You want to show your support of your team by wearing your Marcus Allen Chiefs jersey? Uh, just what team are you supporting?
3) You want to show how long you’ve been a suffering fan–”I’ve been here since Allen was a force on the Chiefs; imagine how painful my life is.”
4) You somehow think the shirt’s a magic talisman and the player’s superpowers will rub off on you if you wear it. Good luck on that one.
I taught high school in kansas City while Jordan ruled the courts. Many kids wore those jerseys (I would often tell them that Mike was the greatest shoe and closthing salesman of all time; I enjoyed it, if they didn’t.) i asked why. Their simple answer. I like it. Hard to argue with that one. I never wore one.
I would, however, quasi-proudly wear a JoPo jersey–that would indicate my membership in a near-secret esoteric fraternity more powerful than the Mafia. And besides, I’ve never seen an Ed Kirkpatrick jersey.
Just to follow up on the whole football thing for you Joe as I am English.
It is acceptable to say Andy Johnson scored in the second half or to say that he scored in the 69th minute. Personally I prefer to know the time because it gives you more of an idea of how the game played out. For example if he’d scored in say the 81st minute then it would be a late winner and I would assume from that that the match was pretty close.
Also it is ok to refer to Andy Johnson as AJ since he is known by that nickname but mostly we just like to refer to players by their surnames (or full name if it is a common surname such as Cole e.g. Ashley Cole, Joe Cole, Carlton Cole etc)
One note on the match Gomes (Tottenham goalkeeper) absolutely gifted Fulham their first goal when he basically just let a weak cross that had taken a slight deflection hit him in the chest and go in. Its like a player not catching a simple pop-up and a run scoring, only worse.
I noticed a lot of people saying they’d wear Joe’s shirt. Wouldn’t this lead to most people who saw you assuming you were a tool named Posnanski who was wearing a personalized jersey?
This is something I’m aware of because I’ve worn a few t-shirts I thought were funny in an ironic sort of way. The problem is most people see it and say something like, “So, you’re really proud of that city league Softball Championship back in ‘03, eh?”
Actually, most people see it and THINK, “Look at that tool who’s really proud of that city league Softball Championship back in ‘03″ You can at least explain how you’re trying to be funny to the people who actually ask.
I was at a White Sox game once and one section over, I saw a group of kids I went to grade school with. Yeah, grade school. I was in my late 20’s at the time. I was shocked to see these jokers still hung around with each other. But I was even more shocked to see all of them wearing personalized White Sox jerseys. All 5 of them. Biango, Blackwell, Thompson, McMahon, and a 5th guy I can’t remember, all wearing the same White Sox road jersey with their own name on the back. I went up to them and it was fun catching up I guess, but I asked “are you guys on a team together or something?” and they said no. It didn’t make any sense.
We all shared an awkward goodbye and that was the end of it.
Joe, it’s not cool to wear anything with your name on it, especially with you being famous and whatnot. Just frame those jerseys and put them up in your man room/office. That’s the coolest thing you can do with them. Frame a couple with the “Pos” showing and frame a couple with the front showing.
Is the jersey cool? Of course not. But I think Joe is asking the wrong question. I mean, pretty much anything you do as you’re pushing 40 is pretty much by definition not cool, so the question should be, “who cares if it’s a cool or not?â€
I think all of these rules about whether you can wear a jersey or not are pretty stupid. We aren’t women trying to wear white shoes after Labor Day. If you like the jersey, you should wear it. If you don’t like it, you shouldn’t. Who cares what some hipster you have never, nor will ever meet thinks about your coolness quotient? Forget him.
Full disclosure: I own exactly one jersey: a #18 LSU jersey with no name on the back I bought after my alma mater won its first national title in my lifetime. It was a Matt Mauck jersey, but then it morphed into a Jacob Hester jersey. Now it’s a Richard Dickson jersey. I wear it every Saturday during football season and rarely during the offseason.
Not that I wish being a Seahawk fan on anybody, but I would argue that you can put your own name on a number 12 Seahawks jersey (since it’s retired in honor of the fans) and not violate the jersey code.
Jerseys with your name on the back are generally bad, but names of real players are fine. Former (but still active) players are generally ok, but they’re much better if they weren’t the team’s most popular jersey. In my eyes, a Terrell Buckley Packers jersey is much cooler than a Favre.
One day, I will own a Bob Hamelin jersey, preferably a Brewers one with their mid-90s Motre Bame logo.
As my “name” above attests, my last name is Weaver. So, when attending a Baltimore Orioles game, the beer started talking and I bought an Earl Weaver jersey. I struggled mightily with the issue of whether I was a dork with a name on my jersey or an Earl Weaver fan. I’m afraid I know the answer. Sorry, Earl.
Then, after returning to my native Seattle, to my surprise, Leonard Weaver won the starting fullback job for the Seahawks. I now have his jersey too. I wore it to a game once and got a lot of, “Big Leonard Weaver fan, are you?” My name is “Weaver” isn’t a very good response to that particular question.
That said, I was able to resist buying a Jeff Weaver jersey when he was pitching for the Mariners. He went 7-13, with a 6.20 ERA. Even a dork like me doesn’t need that kind of grief.
you can’t get a Falcons jersey with #7 and Mexico… which is a shame, but at least it was a good name for a fantasy football team a few years ago.
Send me one of the Royals jerseys. I’ll wear it.
Seriously.
I don’t predict there will ever be a time in my life when I don’t own and wear a jersey for Sport Club do Recife, my hometown soccer team from where I grew up in Brazil. Objectively, it is hideous. It has thick red and black horizontal stripes and the numbers are yellow. The team is so broke that it requires two sponsors, one being a cement company and the other a propane company. You can see me wearing it on most Sundays when they play (provided it has been washed, of course).
It’s not about looking good or being accepted by society. It’s about showing people where you stand. It’s about maintaining that connection with your team despite distance, despite the tough times. I think the personalized thing is a little extreme, but it doesn’t change what I mentioned above–unless, of course, you’re one of those bandwagon Red Sox fans.
Still awaiting Matt Cassel’s fall from grace so that Kevin O’Connell can take the reins and guide the Pats to Super Bowl XXLIII. That way, I won’t have to customize one.
***Ben
Come on, Joe. You don’t think there are some sports fans, particularly fellow but less-successful bloggers, that wouldn’t want a Posnanski jersey***
I’m with Ben – I’d love an Indians jersey with Posnanski on the back. But then again, I also used to enjoy sending friends Christmas cards in languages they didn’t speak, so maybe I’m just weird.
But it also reminds me of the story of one of the ZAZ guys who made the Airplane movies: he had an old beat up chevy, but he put on vanity license plates that said “teds bmw”, so that when people pulled up to him and said “hey, that’s not a bmw” he could say “I’m not Ted!”
Two other sure signs of a dorky sports fan are 1) wearing the jersey of one team and the hat of another – they don’t go together even if the teams are from the same town – and 2) wearing the jersey of say your local football team to a baseball game – its OK that you don’t have the baseball team’s jersey but don’t try to make up for it by wearing a 5 year old jersey of a football player that isn’t even on the team anymore.
The worst I’ve seen is a guy wearing a jersey with his nickname – a Dodger fan wearing a Dodgers jersey with “Barndog” on the back.
I’d say that hockey sweaters are the most acceptable to wear at a game, but then again, I’m biased; that’s the only sport where I have a jersey/sweater.
I always wanted a “G Backup” jersey. (Old EA Hockey joke.) I do own a few Isles jerseys, no number or name, which I will wear for games, or maybe just hanging out in the fall. But I voted “no” above. Your OWN name? I dunno. The only jerseys with my name on them are my actual game jerseys from my own games.
PS – I feel like Joe pulled a Sylar and stole my superpower. I am the biggest sports mush ever.
What gets my goat is anybody who wears a Yankee jersey with ANY name on the back. (But yes, it’s worse if it’s their own.)
Me: Big Yankee fan, huh?
Them: Oh, yeah!
Me: I can tell.
Sorry but there are only a couple situations where anyone over the age of 18 can wear a jersey…A sports bar or a game…
As for your own name…pretty much never, unless, of course, it was your actual jersey from your playing days if you were a pro(and even that is creepy)
Joe, you should get a Browns jersey personalized with the name, “QB Browns”
Not sure about jerseys, am absolutely convinced it is ridiculously uncool to write a sentence with the teenage “like” in it.
e.g. when I was, like, 18 years old.
I like your writing, but that really jumped off the screen at me and said, “trying too hard”.
Wearing or even obtaining these jerseys proves “loser” to me. However, maybe in Poz’ case a nice big “JOE” on the back might look acceptable….
The only cool personalized jersey ever was the Blackhawks jersey with Griswold on the back in “Christmas Vacation”. I would happily wear that jersey (even though I’m a Bruins fan).
For anybody, it is acceptable to wear a personalized jersey at a fantasy draft, and of course it’s acceptable to wear it at home. For most of us, it would be acceptable to wear it to a casual event at the house of the person who gave it to you, such as watching a game or a poker party.
But you’re not most of us, Joe. You represent a national magazine as well as a KC newspaper. Wearing a jersey from some team could reflect badly on your objectivity. Caesar’s wife, and all that. So I think your options are to ask your better half to make them all into a quilt (we have a T-Shirt quilt that is chock full of happy memories, mostly of shirts too old to wear any more), or to auction them off or give them to charity. Heck, while they last, you could give them to the next “N” genius readers who think of a great answer or point that you wish you had made that eventually enables you to write a (better) column or article. But wearing them suggests boosterism, and could give you a reputation that makes it harder for you to do your job.
It’s great to go to hockey games and see sweaters from various eras being worn and names of players long since gone from the team. And, in diehard places, you know those are not throwback jersyes, but ones people have had since those guys were playing there.
I’d have to say no on the personalized jersey. Too dorky. Not sure whether it’s better or worse than “He Hate Me”.
A resounding no to your own name on a jersey.
A player’s name is never acceptable if the team doesn’t put names on jerseys, i.e. “MANTLE” jerseys.
Retired numbers are best because you know it’s good forever. They’ll never trade a dead guy.
Any more details on your dinner with the Big Red Machine…?
It’s very cool to wear personalized jerseys, as long as the person is not you. For example, I can wear a Posnanski jersey and when people ask me about it I’ll look very supercilious and say, “My great-great uncle. Spruance’s chief of staff at Midway. But you knew that, of course.” “Oh, uhh, yeah, I guess I knew that.” So I’ll happily take any jersey you don’t feel comfortable wearing off your hands. “Admiral, I feel it imperative that we launch our dive-bombers at the earliest opportunity.” “Commander Posnanski, I trust your judgment.”