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Also, Gutierrez obviously couldn’t hit last year, but he’s young and could develop into an average hitter. Will he?…Oh, I don’t know. Let me get back to you on that. I’ve got a guy on another blog about some white walls.

For a number of years I could not watch football on television because I got so angry at bad calls even if I wasn’t rooting for either team. Well, this election seems to have rubbed a lot of people the same way. We have had 43 presidents and somehow survived them all. We have had presidents take office during recessions and wars and muddled through. The vitriol of this campaign, on both sides, clearly was beyond the pale. Obama has not even taken office and yet some folks are acting like he is worse for the country than World War 2, The Civil War, the Great Depression, the San Francisco earthquake, and 9/11. We survived all those things (and many others). So take a deep breath, settle down, and give the guy a chance to actually do something wrong before we go all apoplectic about him. Unless you’re racist. In which case, okay, Obama truly is your worst nightmare. Sorry, dude.

The major subplot of the South Park episode was a takeoff on Ocean’s Eleven, where McCain and Obama had set up this entire election to guarantee one of them would have access to the Oval Office escape tunnel, which runs directly under the Smithsonian, and by using it on election night when everybody was either partying or hiding in caves they could thus steal the Hope Diamond. And I’d bet a paycheck that if McCain had won, they would have had the episode ready to go the other way.

As for the Royals, they need a lot. The first step is to get nine guys on the field regularly that many other teams would want to have on THEIR teams. I think Mike Jacobs is such a guy. I note that Billy Beane traded for Matt Holliday today and speculation is rampant that he’ll trade Holliday for more stuff. Is there any chance that Jacobs was acquired the same way? I mean, the Cubs are one “win now” team that was extremely susceptible to RHP in the playoffs; perhaps Lee or Jacobs could play a bit of outfield, and Jacobs would be a straight platooner, and then the Cubbies might be able to sneak past all those right handed rotations in the NL West. If the Angels don’t sign Texeira, Jacobs might fit in there. So I think the Royals got Jacobs because he was clearly a better player, and they’ll either use him (and maybe get the team slugging component of OPS+ up to 100) or trade him for more valuable pieces than they gave up.

Yeah, I know, it requires believing in competence in the Royals’ front office. But keep hope alive, at least until they disappoint us again.

Finally, as for Polk/Clay/Ramirez/Pujols, what I *think* was being suggested is that Clay was the better man for the job, but Polk got the presidency, same as Pujols is better than Ramirez, but Ramirez got the award. But that’s probably just my degree in American History talking through 30 years of spiderwebs and disuse. Personally, I’m having some major arguments as to whether or not Buchanan was the worst president of all time for his failure to prevent the Civil War (I argue not; out and out corruption to me is worse than mere incompetence). But Polk wasn’t that bad. Not a drunk like Pierce.

Never reach for a ball you could conceivably get. Never dive for a ball you could conceivably get. Never run too far. Only go for those fly balls that you’re 100% certain you will catch, and then catch them with both hands to make sure you don’t drop it. Don’t charge in on any balls, don’t run back on any balls. Just play your position as Stan Musial’s statue would play it.

As a result, I’d win a gold glove every year because I’d have a fielding percentage that would make me the modern day Ozzie Smith. And I’d sail into the Hall of Fame with my 19 gold gloves.

The state of baseball thinking in this country makes me terribly, terribly sad. Michael freaking Young. And you though Derek Jeter was bad.

I would not be in favor of any trade involving Butler or Bannister.

Which HAS to be some kind of all-time record.