You will not believe this
Posted: July 27th, 2008 | Filed under: Media | 84 Comments »
You know how sometimes someone will say, “You won’t believe this,” and then they say it, and the thing ends up being a huge disappointment. Like they will say: “You won’t believe this, but I gained 10 pounds the last month.” Now, why wouldn’t I believe that? There is nothing in that statement that is especially hard to believe, especially if I have seen you stuff your face with McDonald’s fries and a nightly frozen custard. And I have. No mystery here, Agatha.
Yes, the “You won’t believe this,” intro usually leads to a more disappointing ending than Seinfeld.* Well, it figures because the word “unbelievable” is wildly overused. I know that just about all the big ticket adjectives get overused — great, perfect, classy, incredible, awesome, brilliant and so on — but “unbelievable” is especially troubling because there really aren’t that many things in this world that are, in fact, not believable. If someone says, “An alien came down, impregnated that girl, then framed me,” yeah, that’s probably unbelievable. If someone says, “Oh man, I had salmon today that was unbelievable,” no, I’m not buying it, I’m thinking salmon — even good salmon, even a nice teriyaki salmon, even the lox at Russ & Daughters which is delicious — is quite believable.
*It’s OK, I’ve come to grips with it: The last Seinfeld sucked. I refused to believe it when I first saw it, being a gigantic Seinfeld fan. At first I determined the last episode was just “quirky” and “dark” and “introspective,” and I admired that they went out on their own terms. Then I determined that it was my fault I didn’t quite get it, it was like 2001: A Space Odyssey — I hated 2001 when I saw it but everyone else said it was brilliant so the problem obviously was me.
But now, I’ve come to the conclusion that, sure, maybe the problem IS me, but I can’t change. The last Seinfeld sucked.
So, with that introduction, I am about to tell you something, and I feel quite confident that you won’t believe it.
I’m telling you … you won’t believe this.
I can’t possibly play this up enough … there’s no way you will believe this.
I am serving as a consultant to the United States military.*
*OK, mull over that sentence for a few seconds. Here’s a little story to share with you while you mull: Royals legend Frank White was sitting in the Kansas City press box the other day when a foul ball came spinning hard right at him. Now, you might know that Frank’s No. 20 is one of three numbers on the Royals scoreboard — that is one of three numbers retired by the team. He won eight gold gloves as a second baseman. Eight. I think he has a good case for being the best defensive second baseman in the history of the game, and I think that with his virtual twin Bill Mazeroski in the Hall of Fame, people might want to reevaluate Frank White’s career.
In any case, he was a defensive whiz, we all can agree on that. So this ball comes at him, and it’s got some mustard on it, well no, not technically, but it’s rushing in like a fool and Frank makes the professional determination that he really need to get the hell out of the way. He does this in graceful style by jerking his whole body right in a sudden spasm. This is a reasonably well-thought out plan, except he happened to be sitting on a chair with wheels. The chair topples over and Frank falls to the ground, chair on top of him. But while he is falling, he reaches out to another chair to break his fall — again, a noble thought — but that chair has wheels too, and so it topples over on top of him also.
Now the elegant Frank White is on the ground with two chairs on him. He thinks at this point it might be best to stay down there for a few seconds so the television camera does not catch him in this, you know, compromising position. He might have still been hoping that nobody noticed. At this point, the one-of-a-kind David Boyce, Star sportswriter and all-time classic, shouts out: “That was awful! Take his number down! Take his number off the scoreboard.”
So much for the “Let’s hope nobody notices plan.” Frank needed a different tact. So, Frank White stood up, dusted himself off, and after a moment’s thought said with all the grace of Clark Gable: “Gentleman. The day they stopped paying me was the day I stopped catching ‘em.”
OK, back to the unbelievable: Yeah. I am a military consultant. In fact, if you are reading this on Monday, then at this very moment I am at a secret location at Fort Leavenworth working with our future military leaders. There’s no punchline here, people. I am really doing this. I have spent the last month filling out about 50 different forms, each more than once because (I know this will surprise you) military forms are impossible to fill out right the first time. They do it on purpose.
Anyway, this is real. I am not only supporting our troops. I’m guiding them.
Now, you ask — well, I suspect you have many questions. Such as ”What has happened to our country?” And, “Is this a consequence of the surge?” And “Where do John McCain and Barack Obama stand on this?” Well, unfortunately, I can’t answer those questions. It’s a question of national security. What I can tell you now is that a while ago, I was called by an instructor at Fort Leavenworth — you know, Fort Leavenworth is where the U.S. Army trains some out or most promising men and women, and it is just outside of Kansas City. I was told that these days they teach Military Theory in many unique ways. One thing they try to do is take real life examples out of business and sports and games and entertainment and history, and use those to explore new ideas and new directions and new possibilities for our military.
One of those real life examples … the students are reading Michael Lewis’ brilliant book Moneyball. Yes. Moneyball. Apparently, the military is hoping to get more people with good on-base percentages. Anyway they called and asked if I would be willing to come out to talk a little bit about Moneyball. And, of course, I said yes — I’m as patriotic as the next guy, assuming the next guy is not Sean Hannity. I told them it would be my honor to serve even though, you know, I didn’t write Moneyball and my only military experience has been losing in chess to Priest Holmes and losing my GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip. They didn’t seem to mind. Within a day I started getting forms by the carton, each to be filled out precisely an multiple times.
In preparation for my consulting gig, I have worked out some Moneyball thoughts, spoken at some length with Michael Lewis, who I found to be a very nice guy, and of course I’ve exchanged emails with Bill James. They were as baffled as I am, but they offered some real good suggestions and made it very clear that they were happy that I was doing this rather than, you know, them. I still have no idea what I’m going to say. But I figure that I better say something — I understand they have some sort of penitentiary out there.
If I return, I hope to tell you all what happened. Well, at least all the stuff I am cleared to talk about.
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Congrats Joe. Baseball writing is the new market inefficiency.
And I never liked the last Seinfeld. They tried to do too much. They didn’t stay within themselves.
Hey Joe, I think you’re great, and you’ll probably do a good job. But if they wanted someone to talk about Moneyball, why didn’t they just ask Michael Lewis?
That is hard to believe but not unbelievable, Congrats on the new gig Joe, try not to get in trouble while you’re there.
Joe, are you sure it was a good idea to do this, and publicly reveal that you are doing this, right before you go to China? ‘Cause I’m not sure the Chinese intelligence services are going to feel as pleasantly surprised as we, your loyal readers, do.
I’m as patriotic as the next guy, assuming the next guy is not Sean Hannity.
Sean Hannity is a nationalistic jingoist, a sycophant to power, and generally a disingenuous sleazeball – all of which are irreconcilable with patriotism.
(yes, there’s a difference).
tell us how you really feel about hannity, please.
Important question: Did you ever figure out your worth to the military in relation to their exquisitely expensive toilets? Or do I still get to giggle at the notion that toilets are higher up on the totem pole than you are?
Hope you enjoy/enjoyed the lovely Fort Leavenworth (it truly is lovely; I was just there) and have/had something meaningful to say about Moneyball and the military.
Toss-up: Biggest disappointment — Halley’s Comet or last episode of Seinfeld.
The last Seinfeld sucked and 2001 sucked!!!!
You’re not going to believe this… but I still haven’t read Moneyball. Got an Amazon gift certificate for my birthday, and ordered it, so that oversight is about to be… overseen(?). Oh, I also ordered some book about Buck O’Neil. Wish I could have found a good book about the Reds.
You’re right, I don’t believe this. Pics or it didn’t/won’t happen.
Also, it was virtually impossible for Seinfeld to end the series with an ending acceptable to most fans.
My preference would have been a “normal” episode with a few hints about the future. The ending could simply have been George and Jerry in the coffee shop with Jerry ripping on George’s button being in no-man’s land.
After watching the Seinfeld DVDs, I’m disappointed in the final two seasons sans Larry David. The seasons had their insider moments, but the depth of the episodes was lacking. Less unrealistic action and more realistic conversation, please.
I’ve noticed the same phenomenon in a few of the Curb finales….Larry David is very good at writing endings to shows/seasons that logically make sense and act as summations of the entire series/year. Unfortunately, in some cases (Seinfeld finale, Curb S4 finale*, Curb S5 finale, Curb S6 finale until the last two minutes) he forgets to make these summations into something truly funny.
* = The S4 finale was very clever with the real reason why Brooks hired Larry for the play, but it was clever, not truly hilarious. That whole episode didn’t have a lot of great moments in it.
Supporting the troops is best served by not sending them over to shoot and bomb innocent people. Try and bring them back home safely Joe, they need you!
I’m in an MBA program at San Diego State University which focuses on sports business and our first assignment before the program began was to read Moneyball as a precursor to our statistics class. It’s a very insightful book, but the material was obviously dated as soon as the book was released. The questions are: what inefficiencies currently exist in the market for ballplayers, and does Beane lose some credibility because the A’s never even made it to the World Series, let alone won one?
The last Seinfeld was terrible, watched it live and haven’t seen it since. I like to act like it never happened.
Jeff -
Having read Joe for a year or two (how old is Soul of Baseball blog plus this one?), pretty sure Joe is moderate (mainly unaffiliated) w/ a whiff of a Democrat leaning.
Mckford,
Thanks for defining patriotism for the American perusers of the blog. I like your baseball/sports postings, but not you’re political ones; Americans require no lectures about comportment.
Like the great old anecdote about De Gaulle to an American ambassador: “We need all American soldiers out of France immediately!” US Ambassador (maybe sic): “Including all the ones buried in Normandy?”
Sorry to inject politics into this wonderful blog, but WTSherman, what is the point of that anecdote? Does the US role in WWII cancel out the killing of 2 million Vietnamese people? Or the current carnage in Iraq? It’s a weak argument that brings up World War II when defending the US military.
And sorry but dropping bombs on villages in Vietnam doesn’t make John McCain a hero, it makes him a war criminal. Which he said in his own words live on 60 Minutes…
Call me old fashioned, but i would never go to a Canadian website under the name Mckingmulroney and start “explaining” reduntantly and pre-emptively the jingoism and sundry shortcomings of the country’s plural exponents.
Dr. Funk,
Don’t worry you didn’t inject politics into this great blog, Mckingford did.
The South Asians died en masse AFTER we left.
The “current carnage” is charged language, ie problematic. Are you qouting the now risible Lancet piece ca. (2003, 2004?) that said the US slaughtered 100,000? We’re the foe, not Saddam I suppose.
On the the historical front: “It’s a weak argument that brings up World War II when defending the US military.” You’re right. We were just as incorrigible then as we are now. There was no moral rightness to our cause, that’s long-since established. Splinter and Joltin’ et al, were war criminals in the Dubya mould.
Your moral equivalency is sickening, but I’m sure you relish that. I brought the whole thing up because I was bothered by a bright Canadian fellow getting into American patriotism. But you are the worst, cowering at the drop of a flag-whip, and worse, the notion of pride.
I have an agenda? You just called Senator McCain a war criminal!!!!!
Mckford -
I’m proud of every Canadian that stood on the side of justice with us. Americans don’t forget that and I’m sure the pride is mutual.
WT Sherman,
I fail to see what you mean by my “moral equivalency”.
I suggest some simple HIstory 101 courses would help enlighten you as to what the US did in SE Asia. The bombing of Cambodia ordered (illegally) by Kissinger and Nixon for example.
I didn’t call McCain a war criminal…he called himself that. Check it out, it’s true.
Wisdom comes from not blindly wrapping yourself in the flag. WWII was a war worth fighting. Vietnam and Iraq are war crimes, pure and simple.
I wish you the best, and refuse to lower myself to name-calling and outrage. May peace be with you and all your loved ones!
Dr. Funkenstein
“I didn’t call McCain a war criminal…he called himself that. Check it out, it’s true.
Wisdom comes from not blindly wrapping yourself in the flag. WWII was a war worth fighting. Vietnam and Iraq are war crimes, pure and simple.
I wish you the best, and refuse to lower myself to name-calling and outrage. May peace be with you and all your loved ones!
Dr. Funkenstein”
—————————
I agree with some of that conciliatory boilerpate. His name for instance, i concede that it is “Dr. Funkenstein.” No problem there. Check.
As for McCain, a war criminal, “calling himself that”, I apologize for leaving incumbent on the rest to track the moment down. (Kerry might’ve said that though).
“Wisdom comes from not blindly wrapping yourself in the flag.” Funny, patriotic as I am, I have spent a lifetime literally “not blindly wrapping myself in the flag.” I have not once wrapped myself in a flag, American or other. But there’s a haunting sense of foreboding about his warning. I’ll even be figuratively on my tippy-toes about not succumbing to his Confucian dictum.
I wish him and his the best too.
Back to the point, South Asians died EN MASSE (see Pol Pot) AFTER we left.
Nixon downscaled the fighting, of course, the preceding three (particularly LBJ, who quit on it in the middle, demoralized), boiled it up.
McCain served his courntry tremendously.
Evil was played, approximately and according to entrance, by Japanese, Nazis, Italians, Soviets, Koreans (proxy), Chinese (quasi-proxy) VietCong (proxy), Cubans (proxy), Iranians, Iraqis, Jihadis, etc etc.
For the dull, the director of the great play of opposition was the singular “Monseiur Marx”
WTSherman, why don’t we spare the others our dispute and move this to email? I feel there is a lot you need to be educated on!
jward0323@gmail.com
My reply here would be endlessly long, but first and most importantly, Pol Pot was the leader of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia. The deaths in that country are not what I was referring to. And as to Nixon..the man ESCALATED the war. This is basic history and is acknowledged by anyone in higher education.
Perhaps they’re is going to apply Moneyball concepts to the purchase of, and contracting for, military goods & services.
Maybe we’ll find that wrenches & spark plugs are over-valued, and paying $567 & $1,023 respectively ain’t so smart an idea.
Question is, where are the bargains? Everyone knows about OBP now. What’s next? Helicopters that don’t break down? Commanders-in-Chief with long-term strategic plans? Halliburton-hired soldiers-of-fortune with a conscience?
Enough already.
I spent a year at the Air Force version of the school you’ll be lecturing at Joe. I sure wish you would have made it to Maxwell AFB when I was there. We got the CEO of the Girl Scouts of America instead. The Army gets Joe and Moneyball.
I think that pretty much sums up the difference between the Air Force and the Army. One takes leadership lessons from the Girl Scouts, the other does not.
Well, add one more debacle for the US military; they’ve mucked up Joe’s comments section.
What’s “Moneyball?”
It’s OK, Joe. 2001 sucked too. And it sucked MORE than the last Seinfeld, by some distance.
Joe, I triple dog dare you to go to this thing and compare the invasion of Iraq to the Barry Zito signing.
Let’s get back to the important issue at hand:
The last episode of Seinfeld undoubtedly did NOT “suck” in any way shape or form. It brilliantly summed up the series and its characters while bringing back all of the best characters from the past. The ending was foreshadowed, whether intentionally or not, by Elaine’s constant refrain over the final seasons “I’ve got to get some new friends”.
On top of that, there are classic, hysterical moments in the finale:
Jackie Chiles to Jerry:
Oh and by the way, they’re real and they’re spectacular.
The vignette that illustrates “no soup for you!” without words.
And finally, the episode sums up the core of these pathetic characters and their actions that we laughed at for so long, while being consistently funny.
I will never understand anyone who says the episode “sucks”.
Joe,
Sounds like a good time and a good cause going down to Ft. Leavenworth to discuss Moneyball. When I was on active duty in the Marines we got to do some great battlefield studies of Gettysburg and Antietam, but never did we get to discuss baseball and how it could be applied to modern warfare. Good stuff.
2001 was awful. Not just overrated. Awful. I’ve never seen a movie that was more indicative of a director being more full of himself.
I had read the book first (note that Clarke finished it after the movie, so it’s really just an extension of the film), which is apparently necessary if you want to have the slightest understanding of what the hell is going on at the end, when Dave goes through the psychedelic experience and turns into the star child.
And it’s not that I don’t think Clarke’s a good writer – Childhood’s End is my absolute favorite book of all time – but that 2001 was the rare match of an brilliant author getting too involved with a concept to properly convey his message and an egotistical director who wanted to make sure everyone noticed how great a director he was*.
*The best directors are ones who don’t make you notice the direction. Basing my judgment of Kubrick off of 2001 and A Clockwork Orange, he does not fit this category.
Just because Mazeroski is erroneously in the Hall, does that mean that Frank White should get a free pass too? They were both outstanding defensive players to be sure. I only saw Maz at the end of his career, but I was lucky enough to see most of White’s career. He was great. Defensively. Stole a few bases too.
Both were also very sub-par at the plate. Granted, both played in down offensive eras. Especially Maz. But neither has a career OBP of even .300!!!
And Gold Gloves don’t necessarily make White the best defensive second baseman of all time. Not even sure if he was the best of his generation. We all know those awards are the least scrutinized awards around. Take a look at some career fielding numbers at 2B for him and some of his AL contemporaries:
Player RF FP
Julio Cruz 5.13 .985
Rich Dauer 4.62 .987
Jim Gantner 5.17 .985
Bobby Grich 5.44 .984
Bump Wills 5.50 .979
Willie Randolph 5.20 .980
Lou Whitaker 4.95 .984
Frank White 5.11 .984
White had a long career that outlasted a bunch of these guys, but I was surprised to see Bobby Grich’s high RF and Lou Whitaker’s relatively low RF. Those guys, in my opinion, were the two preeminent second basemen of that particular generation. Not White.
It’s not you, Joe. Seinfeld did suck.
God Bless America!
Oh, and I told that Mussambouni (whoever that “special entry qualified swimmer” was) story to my mom. She liked it. The point was, she was thinking of writing a story she heard from a security guy, and I heard from her and thought: This sucks. I said, there’s tons of good stories out there, why this one? So I told her this Mussibeani story and made her realize that even the best Olympic story sucks, and hers is no better.
Thank you for sharing the discrepencies of the Olympic Committee. I hope they can find a better reason to bar baseball and softball from returning for 2016 @Chicago. I’m sick of hearing those craps like “takes too long,” “umpire decides the game,” “no best athletes ‘cuz MLB doesn’t participate,” “not even population plays.”
Because we know them. As long as we donate to where those Committee members want us, they’ll listen.
Bud Selig, before you retire, it’s time you use some money for the good of baseball. Bringing baseball back to the Olympics will guarantee you a HoF position.
Talk about the gift that keeps on giving! Not only is this blog full of entertaining writing, stories, and “brilliant readers” but now I have found I’m not the only one who didn’t like “2001″.
I find only half of this to be truly unbelievable. The part about the Army using Moneyball as a learning tool doesn’t surprise me in the least. It’s been used in Corporate America for several years as a means of conveying to managers and leaders the importance of recognizing alternative means of viewing their respective businesses/industries. Why should the Army be any different?
Now, the part about them asking you to speak about it, Joe, that’s pretty damned unbelievable. As expressed above, photographs are pretty much a prerequisite to believability in this case.
2 things Joe:
First, and it’s actually kind of, maybe related. I was reading FJM last night and think you should let Ken Tremendous review your book and put a blurb on the cover. I’d love to see his reaction.
Second: Any chance of a Vick interview? Had to ask.
I’m surprised noted Poz fan (and noted military non-fan) Dennis Kucinich hasn’t been by to comment on this.
Anthony,
While Beane’s A’s haven’t won a World Series, Theo Epstein applied many of Beane’s theories to the Red Sox and they’ve done pretty well for themselves over the last few years.
I can only suspect that by the time “Moneyball” came out there were two types of teams in Major League Baseball: those who realized what Beane was doing and were already emulating him and those who were going to keep doing things the old fashioned way no matter what. I don’t think Beane would be dumb enough to tell the rest of the league what he was doing if they didn’t know already.
As for what he’s doing now, I’ve heard that the A’s see defense as an undervalued commodity so that’s where they have been placing their money. I’d say this year’s A’s team has exceeded all expectations.
Joe,
Just wanted to say that I really enjoy your blog. Thanks for entertaining me and keeping me in a positive mood. Due to this blog I puchased “The Soul of Baseball” and thoroughly enjoyed it. You can bet that when “The Red Machine” comes out I will be first in line to buy it. Hope to see you in town for the Ryder Cup
Thanks Again,
James
Louisville, KY
Joe,
I think the important lesson we (and you especially) can all impart to servicemen and students of history at home and abroad is that the Viet Cong had intangibles.
Sure, you can look at our kill percentage, and it’s off the charts. But the VC weren’t playing the new “numbers” game.
They didn’t have the luxury of standing out in the field and waiting for someone back at home to drop a bomb for them.
You know what they did? They saw the blazing heat coming, and they dug in anyway.
They saw the next base of operations and ran for it.
I know what you’re going to say: that’s a high-risk move that’s only worth it if their chance of getting there is over 80%.
Tell that to Giap. These guys weren’t afraid of getting their uniforms dirty and gritting it out.
Maybe it’s time we started looking for the soldiers who care a little bit less about their numbers and waiting to be moved around and instead start doing some gutty, scrappy things on the ground.
Joe,
I’d rate it as more surprising than unbelievable. The command and staff college at Ft. Leavenworth has been pretty radical (for the military) in embracing and teaching new concepts and theories of warfare to future military leaders. It’s where Gen. Petraeus and others wrote the Army’s new Counterinsurgency Manual. As another commenter noted above, they want you to come talk about Moneyball so the officers in the program can have an example about how someone used available data and information in a new and innovative way to outproduce their competition.
In other words, they don’t want you to teach them about warfare, the military wants you to help teach these guys about critical thinking and objective analysis free of preconceptualizations.
I know some guys who’ve been through the course, it’s a great program, have fun and good luck.
Joe–I teach Marines in Quantico, VA (more of less their Ft. Leavenworth). I use Moneyball all the time.
It’s just like strategic assessment, only Billy Beane is more entertaining than your average military planner.
Happy to offer you some tips for military audiences…
You’re not going to believe this, but “tremendous” is a horribly overused sports adjective…
Lary David tried way too hard on the last episode to try to please everyone. That’s my take, obviously. Real quick question, though: is there some high-water mark in the series where the characters went from:
“Ha!! Sure, I screw my friends over sometimes, but I love ‘em!!”
to:
“I’m the biggest prick in the whole freaking world…screw everyone!!”
I really had no more sympathy for the characters by the end of the show, and they probably got what they deserved.
One other thing about that last episode, though. As the final scene is ending, Jerry launches into a bit about how George’s sweater is covering up all of the buttons in his shirt except one, and how that button is really in No-Man’s Land, and all, and George stops Jerry and asks, “Haven’t we had this conversation before??” Well, they had. It was the very first scene in the very first pilot episode where Jerry makes the exact same comment on George’s wardrobe. Pretty brilliant end, if you ask me…
…also: bonus points for bringing back the Library Cop…
I think they just got a little confused and heard you were writing a book on the Big Red One instead of the Big Red Machine.
My guess is that you’ll be in and out of there in about twenty minutes once you tell them you came from KCMO to talk about OBP, SLG, (and the fact that a strike on the first pitch of an at-bat may be worth – 0.05 runs) instead of coming from Ft. Riley, KS to talk about the the last year of the 1st Division in Iraq.
Hey Joe, hope you had fun and got an autographed baseball from Lieutenant General William B. Caldwell, IV Commanding General, U.S. Army Combined Arms Center and Fort Leavenworth.
Joe! Check out Sabes’ K/BB ratio in 94… has there ever been a better one posted for a pitcher with at least 150 IP??
Sorry, I know there’s another, more famous Aaron who posts here so I should have specified. That last post was Aaron L as well.
The Seinfeld finale was essentially a clips show. Of course it sucked.
Click on my name for a portion of the 60 minutes transcript (or at least the transcript as provided by the professor at Montclair State).
Do me a favor. I will say something, and then I want you to quote just the second half of the sentence:
I never said: “I am a war criminal”
Did you hear that? Tango actually said “I am a war criminal.”
Apologies for being pedantic, but isn’t the preferred expression “different tack”, not “different tact”, from the sailing practice of tacking. It’s a mistake (at least I think it’s a mistake) that I’ve been seeing a lot, lately, along with “flaunting the law” when it should be “flouting the law”.
I thought the last Seinfeld was great but I may have been influenced by the fact that, at least two years earlier, my best friend had predicted that the show would end with all the people that had suffered at the foursome’s hands coming back for revenge. Our enjoyment was much enhanced by the “oh my god, you actually called it!” factor.
Re Q. R. Fantasmo’s “Why don’t they just get Michael Lewis to talk about Moneyball” reminds me of that film classic “Back to School,” when Rodney Dangerfield hires Kurt Vonnegut to write his essay about Kurt Vonnegut and gets a C.
“Vonnegut, you don’t know (crap) about Vonnegut!”
does Beane lose some credibility because the A’s never even made it to the World Series
This question drives me nuts, as the thinking behind it absurdly implies some sort of moral failing. What separates baseball from other major sports is the difficulty in making the playoffs. You play 162 games, and they matter. It is very very hard to make the playoffs. Once you’re in the playoffs, it’s a crapshoot – almost total chance. In the last several years, there have been as many wildcard WS winners as there have been best-overall record winners.
What speaks so highly to Beane’s success is his ability to get teams into the playoffs (or at least competitive) on a shoestring budget. The fact that his teams never made a WS is simply a product of chance. It certainly doesn’t speak to a deficiency on his part, unless people believe there is a special talent for assembling teams good enough to make the playoffs consistently, but not good enough to win two series.
~
As to the other subject(s), and the discussion that it has provoked, despite my strong opinions on them, I’ll resist the temptation to say anything further out of respect for the general tenor of this blog and the comment section. My only point was to say that I have no doubt that Joe is far more patriotic (in the true sense of the word) than Sean Hannity.
Jim Nantz: “Got it! With Two Seconds. Unbelieveable!” As a Kansas fan, I really have to agree. I’m STILL in awe.
OK, sorry.
That’s great about your military gig, but please don’t go around and just push buttons and stuff. I just watched some clips from “The Day After” and that movie STILL scares the hell out of me.
I don’t believe it.
Also, while Seinfeld sucked, 2001 is actually a really really really brilliant movie. You should watch it again, though it hasn’t aged well.
Also, Joe, Moneyball isn’t about OBP. It’s about maximizing your value through (perceived) inequalities in the market. If the army is doing that, it’s probably a pretty clever deal.
And I still don’t believe it!
First of all, what makes this blog so great (and I don’t like sounding like a sycophant, but am having trouble not), is the freedom of expression. I’ve come from Metsblog [yes, my taste is consequently suspect & perhaps my parentage as well, but what can I do about it?], & the interesting off-topic political conversation here would’nt’ve held up there. So thanks to all of you for some fun reading.
Joe–I kind of agree re the sucking of the last Seinfeld–I wish it would’ve closed with Jerry doing “The Aristocrats”–but it’s grown on me lately (maybe as a reaction to the freakin’ Kevin Costner Marathon on cable here in NY [that they don't stop after Bull Durham is the problem]). Contrarily, though, 2001 is a favorite, so pfui to you on that one. And congratulations on the advisory gig—maybe the US military has finally tried getting advice from a reputable authority who also has a great imagination.
The most overused adjective in sports is not ‘unbelievable’, but ‘dominant’.
Giants vs Colts, the first ‘Manning vs. Manning’ game. Late second quarter, Colts lead 14-0, and the radio announcers are falling all over themselves talking about how ‘dominant’ everybody is: the Colts’s defense is ‘dominating’ the line of scrimmage, Peyton is having a ‘dominant’ performance, etc.
Then Eli sneaks a TD pass down the sideline to Plax just before halftime. Then the Giants take the second-half kickoff and drive for a TD. If not for a missed extra-point, the game would be tied.
Suddenly, all traces of ‘dominant’ disappeared from the radio broadcast booth.
That word needs to go.
WTSherman: Isn’t it “Herr Marx”? or are those called “highlights”?
Mikey: That’s a comparison for the ages!
Ed: Well, that’s one standard for judging directors, but why does it have to be the only one? There’re uncountable ways to approach the understanding of a film, & relying solely on yours re Kubrick would be kind of like saying “no car but a blue car” instead of realizing that other colors are cool, too.
And as to the ongoing conversation: “Justice” shouldn’t have to be either Canadian or USAn (or, for that matter, Martian)–it should be both (or all). And neither “patriotism” nor its ugly brother, “nationalism,” are defensible in terms of true justice. Just look at who was finally arrested in Serbia–Radovan Karadzik is a textbook illustration of what happens when the true implications of both “patriotism” and “nationalism” are held up as ideals.
Joe, as a former soldier who served for 11 years in the US Army, if I would have seen you in front of any of our classes to enlighten us with your pearls of wisdom, I would have thought two things.
First, I would have been pleased to see the military thinking outside of the box.
Second, I would have thought “Who the F*** is this joker? He better bring some mad game to the table. It looks like the only thing he knows about the Army is that he couldn’t have hacked it!”
Seriously, good luck and I’m sure that you will do well. Just be very, very prepared for the class that you will instruct. Soldiers will respect you initially and listen to what you have to say, but not suffer foolish instructors gladly.
The first time I saw the last episode (2 part episode of course) I was disappointed. But I have seen it often since and increasingly love it. The only change I would make would be to end it with the button comment in that cage, about as perfect an ending as it was possible to create. The epilogue of the prison scene was anti-climactic.
“The epilogue of the prison scene was anti-climactic.”
Of course that was added at the last second as a return to what the show was originally about, which was Jerry doing stand-up bits and then the sketches between the stand-up demonstrating to us the scenes in his life that supply him his comedic gold.
Also fitting that Elaine wasn’t in the final scene, just like she wasn’t in the series premiere. Also appropriate that Larry David’s voice was used in the final scene, just as he provided virtually all of the off-camera voices (and even TV characters) in the first few seasons.
What have we all learned from this experience?
The key to winning the war in Iraq: Kevin Youkilis.
Something that perplexes me about this patriotism discussion: Was it not precipitated by someone taking issue with someone else criticizing Sean Hannity? Maybe I’m mistaken, but that seems to be the case. I’m not going to get into wars, and elections, and all that, but we’re all intelligent people here – can’t we at least agree that Sean Hannity is, at the very least, not a stand-up example of American patriotism? And I say this without regard to political leanings – I find Michael Moore just as insufferable as Hannity and his ilk. Reasonable people can disagree about this, of course, but he’s Sean Hannity, for crying out loud. He ain’t exactly a great American.
As for Seinfeld, as someone pointed out before, I always felt that Seinfeld sort of jumped the shark (overused term, I know) when Susan died. It was still good after that, certainly better than most anything else on TV, but those last two seasons were a significant step down from the first seven. You could feel the loss of Larry David. I also think that’s when the characters went from being merely self-absorbed to all-out assholes. I think the show actually ended at the perfect time – you could tell it was well past its peak, but it was still good enough that it hadn’t embarrassed itself yet. Like if the Stones had called it quits around 1980.
The last episode sucked, though. I actually liked it at first, but I saw it again a few years later and thought it was awful. I still watch Seinfeld reruns sometimes, but that one I never watch.
To DAVID WINTHEISER,
Dominant is horrible, but “athletic” is abominable.
Watching the Sox/Yankees games this weekend, every pre-game show featured someone using the sentence, “This is a very athletic team.”
Really? Really?
A bunch of professional athletes on an athletic club are athletic?
I can’t wait for this to filter down to mathletes.
“I wanna talk about Aaron Jorgenson now. Eighth grader.This kid right here is a real mathlete. He knows all the angles, he knows his numbers, and he’s not afraid to crunch ‘em. What you’re gonna get out of him today — everyday, and I mean that, EV’RY. DAY. — is a pure mathletic performance. I can’t say enough about him.”
On the bad adjective front:
I’ve seen this mocked before, I think on FJM, but how about describing someone as a “ballplayer?” Really!? So that baseball player is a “ballplayer?” Wow, I really thought he was a plumber! Thanks, cliche-spewing announcer-man!
That one’s horrible, too. And you’re right; I think it was FJM. I hope I’m not unwittingly ripping them off.
I think all these things start with football, then get filtered through ESPN enough that they migrate to basketball, then finally to baseball. Because I’ve been groaning for years about (what I think is) the antecedent to “ballplayer,” which is “FOOTBALL PLAYER.”
The most enervating aspect to it was the commentators’ insistence on then explaining and justifying that comment by defining it, e.g.
“This guy is a FOOTBALL PLAYER. I mean, he really knows how the game of FOOTBALL is played.”
In 25 years, the embalmed and electronically manipulated bust of Tim McCarver will be explaining, “THAT is a home run. That ball went over the fence, and that’s why the batter touched all the bases. And when you do that, the score goes up. Derek Jeter.”
FJM didn’t invent harping on bad/cliche sports analysts and the drivel they often spew, and they tend to get a little stale when they always harp on the same exact things: “hey, Joe Morgan says every team has a weakness, and look here’s an article about David Eckstein!”
“can’t we at least agree that Sean Hannity is, at the very least, not a stand-up example of American patriotism? And I say this without regard to political leanings – I find Michael Moore just as insufferable as Hannity and his ilk. Reasonable people can disagree about this, of course, but he’s Sean Hannity, for crying out loud.”
Vin,
Dude, you’re the “reasonable liberal”? I’m reasonable enough and I disagree with you. “But he’s Sean Hannity for crying out loud”…Wow, very rigorous. Fox News = Bad. I’m arguing Joe just brought him up cause he’s divisive and less cliche a refererence than Rush. Ya’ll might be the sycophants clamoring to extrapolate something Joe wasn’t saying.
“As to the other subject(s), and the discussion that it has provoked, despite my strong opinions on them, I’ll resist the temptation to say anything further out of respect for the general tenor of this blog and the comment section. My only point was to say that I have no doubt that Joe is far more patriotic (in the true sense of the word) than Sean Hannity.”
MCKINGFORD,
Fair enough. I will say that your initial unencumbered vitriol for a popular spokesman for a whole party knowingly invited “strong opinions” and the “temptation to say” something “further” among the less forebearing who see that all as an insult and provocation. But I agree with your view that this blog is a good place to talk baseball, and I regret getting drawn into any baiting. Our first amendment vouchsafes us all the benefit of the doubt, and here’s to the quick, sure death of Human Rights Tribunals!
WTsherman.
Sure, who needs a human rights tribunal? let`s just stick a boot in their ass, it`s the American Way, right? (like Toby K and Rumsfeld said!)
peace be with you,
Dr. F
WTSHERMAN,
Just when I thought hyperbole, straw men and then aggressively claiming to be a victim couldn’t possibly be less interesting or even factually accurate, you said, “No. No, this is a limitation someone like me doesn’t even FEEL or SMELL. Right now, It’s action!” and then barfed a lot into a blog about baseball.
Stop posting.
Re: Football Player
Football announcers do one other thing along these lines that really bugs me. They never mention the “ball”. It’s always the FOOTball, with stress on the first syllable. I can’t come up with examples, but it bugs the hell out of me. On TV, you’re clearly watching a football game. Just call it the ball for pete’s sake.
My personal hot buttons are the overuse/misuse of the word “veteran” when talking about baseball, and the misuse of the word “consistent.” I hear this phrase all the time during broadcasts when the Royals are going through a tough stretch; “the Royals need to get more consistent starting pitching.” When your starters are getting shelled and not even making it five innings, they are already consistent. What the team needs is “good” starting pitching. “Veteran” gets overused all the time. Can’t just once somebody use the word “experienced” instead? Of course announcers also misuse the term by implying that “veteran” means good.
Some of those announcer cliches start out as interesting points that are then so overused that they lose meaning.
For example, years ago Madden was trying to make the point that Walter Payton was so gifted, could do so many things, that it understated his ability to just call him a great running back or a great blocker and that you had to just call him a great football player. That was classic Madden: using something simple to make a good point about one of the greatest players ever. But since then it’s become so overused that it doesn’t mean much more than just “a guy who plays football”
Here’s another one: “walk-off”. When “walk-off home run” came into vogue it conveyed a certain dramatic image. It has finality. Now it’s morphed into any game-ending way of reaching base. I saw a reference to a “walk-off walk” earlier this season. Still waiting for the first use of walk-off pop up or walk-off ground out. It won’t be long.
Where have you gone Joe Posnanski-o, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you?
Most overused sports term? I have to vote for “courage.” Rare is the athlete who is doing what they are doing because they are courageous.
Anthony Z–
There were a few responses to your post, I’ll just add that don’t confuse success with winning the World Series. Unfortunately, as we will soon see in Beijing, often only the World Series winner or the Gold Medalist are considered “successful” by our society.
It’s a bit of a sad commentary of how we have come to view things.
“GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip.” Joe, did you borrow that quote from Eddie Murphy’s character in “Trading Places?” Great line.
Nice to see you quote Mr. White’s spontaneous witticism. During the heyday of my Royal’s fanaticism–in my mid-teens–I tried to catch several games a year. After each game, we used to make our way to the gate where many of the “lesser†players would exit after showering. (Of course, George Brett, et al, would invariably sneak away via other routes. Anyway, Frank White was always the last to exit via the fan-predicable route, and always, always stuck around until he assured himself that every kid received an autograph and a kind word. Mr. White, is, and has always been, a number one class act. He is one of the few reasons I still follow the Royals. Thanks for your comments.
It was Joe who started the politics rolling, in a mild way, when he wrote: “And, of course, I said yes — I’m as patriotic as the next guy, assuming the next guy is not Sean Hannity.
Which can be taken two ways: Joe thinks Hannity is extremely patriotic, or Joe thinks Hannity is extremely unpatriotic but pretends to be so for good ratings.
I’ll let Joe clarify if he feels like it. He probably regrets making such an unclear joke. It would be clearer as a joke if instead of using Hannity, he chose (say) John Wayne, or maybe Nathan Hale. Or even Betsy Ross (highly patriotic, but not a guy). And out of respect for the wonderful things Joe does here, I won’t comment about politics. But I bet that Hannity isn’t a baseball player.
Tracey:…”You’re not going to believe this… but I still haven’t read Moneyball. ”
The fact that you don’t think that we’d believe this is unbelievable.