Hooray! Oh. Wait. Nevermind.

Posted: July 19th, 2008 | Filed under: Baseball | 14 Comments »

So you are probably wondering what’s my proudest moment on this blog. Come on, admit it, you were wondering. Well, you know, it’s a tough question. There was, of course, the Swear-Off. You have to be proud anytime you can get two distinguished and brilliant writers like Scott Raab and Pat Jordan to curse each other mercilessly.

Then, it could be the time that this blog led to me getting an email from my all-time hero Duane Kuiper*. It’s pretty tough the beat that one.

*Recently, I was on the road somewhere working on this book — did I mention? — when the San Francisco Giants came to Kansas City. A couple of days later, I was at the park and one of the guys at the stadium said he had a message to me from Giants announcer Duane Kuiper. The message: “Where the hell were you? I was waiting for you.” My cup runneth over.

Then again, it could be the Tom Cruise-Kevin Costner question. I do believe it is the singular question of our day: Who is the lesser actor, Costner or Cruse? In case you are wondering, Tom Cruise won by 10 votes (which, of course, means he technically LOST by 10 votes). And I know some people felt like the question was poorly worded — the reversal form of the question no doubt caused some people to mistakenly vote for Cruise when they believe Costner is worse and vice versa — but to me that confusion only adds to the joy of the whole thing. Did you see how close this thing was? I mean, Cruise won/lost by TEN VOTES out of more than 2,000. We may need a recount.

Then, Saturday happened — and for a few brief moments it was the proudest day of my bloggy life. In case you missed it, and I suspect you did, the Kansas City Royals played the Chicago White Sox.

And leading off for the Royals was the one and only Mark Teahen.

Regular readers of this blog know that this has been one of my pathetic causes for about a year now. I have believed that even though lineup construction is overrated, well, I still desperately wanted to see Teahen hit in the leadoff role. Just to try it. I’ve had this crazy feeling that leadoff is the role for him, the role where he can feel most comfortable, where his talents (he hits the ball the other way, he’s a terrific base runner, he can be tough to defend, he’s a good bunter, he, in years past, has shown an decent ability to get on base) can blossom. I’ve long felt that Teahen, who has really struggled to find his place in the game, could find that place leading off.

Plus, I think that David DeJesus, the usual leadoff guy, is actually the team’s best No. 3 hitter. So it all worked out, at least in my barren mind.

Now, hey, all of this is just my goofy opinion. That’s the whole point of this goofy blog — my goofy opinion. But somewhere along the way, the idea sort of became connected to me. People would email me or come up to me at games and say, “I think you’re right — Teahen should lead off.” Or they would email me or come up to me at games and say, “You’re a moron. No way Teahen can lead off.” Or, if they were really motivated, they would email to say that I could get Viagara at an unbelievable discount. People are so friendly.

So this Teahen leading off thing became mine. I owned all the rights. And I was good with that because, frankly, I never really thought Trey Hillman would lead off Teahen. I figured it would just make for conversation and blog posts for years to come. And I could make a living off of an idea that had no chance of being implemented, not unlike Ron Paul.

And then, Saturday, suddenly, out of nowhere, Hillman led off Mark Teahen. I’m in Cincinnati, talking to Reds, and three people texted me and two more emailed me before the Royals game even began. It was happening! Teahen was in the leadoff role! I could barely contain my excitement.

Now, let me say up front, that I do not believe this blog or my column or my constant pushing of the idea in any way led Hillman to lead off Teahen. Trey’s a bright guy who runs his own team. He is smart enough to know not to read this site or anything else that I write, and certainly smart enough to know not to believe any of it.*

*Of course, just to be sure, we could try another experiment: Trey, if you’re reading this, on Sunday, can you have Mark Gruzielanek bat left-handed. OK? Just one at-bat. Or if you don’t want to do that how about when the camera points your way, you flash the peace sign. Just a quick one. We all want peace, right?

Still, I didn’t care why why Teahen was leading off. I just felt proud. And excited. Mark Teahen was finally going to get his chance to prove me right. All was right in the world of baseball.

Postscript: Mark Teahen went 0-for-5 in the leadoff role with three strikeouts. I suspect he will never lead off another game for the rest of his natural born life. Damn.

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