Soccer Made In Vegas
Posted: June 5th, 2008 | Filed under: Other Sports, Pop Culture | 69 Comments »
So … we’re here in Las Vegas. It’s our 10th anniversary, which is not at all the point of this post but is worth bringing up if only as a cheap way to get a whole bunch of comments like “Wow, Congratulations!†and “Big whoop, call me when you hit 25,†and “Guys who have been married 10 years love Manchester City†and “OK, fine, I bought your book, it’s only $11 in paperback, what an amazing bargain!â€
I do have a larger point to make about Vegas … I’ll try to get to that at some point between magic shows and buffets. In the meantime, I have to get this soccer post up since we now have the official poll going.
I must admit that when I asked you to send me suggestions for an International soccer team to root for, I was either blissfully unaware that Bill Simmons had done more or less the same thing, or I was aware of it somewhere in the back of my mind and had just forgotten. It’s probably the second … I still don’t remember Bill doing it, but he obviously did, and I usually read and enjoy Bill’s stuff. So I probably ran across it and just filed it away to be ripped off later.
Now that I am aware of it, well, I still want a team.
Here’s where we are so far … First, thank you all for writing. There have been several hundred emails so far … you people are insane. Many of my favorite pitches have been for teams in South America, Italy, Ireland, Germany, Poland and several non-Premier League teams in England — Nathan’s pitch for Austria’s national team is priceless and will be revisited. However, I think based on my lack of knowledge, my inability to speak any language but English, my Central Time Zone American location and my lack of knowledge, and also my lack of knowledge, it’s probably best to start with something Premier that I can rather easily see on television and read about on the Internet and so on.
Here are the highlights of your nominations:
1. My team apparently cannot and will not be Manchester United, since, based on about 75 emails, this is like rooting for the Red Sox, Yankees, Huns, Nazis and Army of the Undead. Combined. … Though I will say Troy, who balances his love for Man-U with his love for the Royals, does make a compelling case. And Chip compares the love of Manchester United to the passion for Carolina basketball, something I lived with during high school and understand. Interesting.
2. Matt from Yard Work says that Manchester City is the first major soccer team to become an officially gay-friendly workplace. So they have that going for them. There are certainly other benefits as well.
3. Jim and several others play up Fulham FC because of its Wrigley Field like grounds (I love the word “groundsâ€) and because it has been fighting off relegation lately, much like the Kansas City Royals and Cleveland teams of my youth. Sounds like I’d feel right at home. HatterDon also points out that Fulham has LOTS of Americans on it, which is a plus for a patriotic guy like myself and also might help explain the near-relegation thing.
4. Numerous people have suggested Tottenham — more than any team so far, I bet — and there are some excellent reasons to choose Spurs, but there are two strikes against. One, Tottenham are the team that Bill chose, and I’m already on thin ice having borrowed this whole concept (Did I do that correctly? It’s “Tottenham are†right? Plural, right? I like that). And two, Stuart wrote what might be the best line on Tottenham: “If you have a huge chip on your shoulder and think you are entitled to everything then you should become a Spurs fan.â€
5. Lots and lots of people say Arsenal — my original thought — is the only choice. Not only is that my hero Nick Hornby’s team, but they have not been relegated in 100 years (“Haven’t you suffered enough?†Logan asks). Several people point out how Gunners attack and play exciting soccer (apparently in direct contrast to the Arsenal that Hornby grew up watching), and Ian and others point out that the manager, Arsene Wenger, is sort of soccer’s version of Billy Beane. Hmm.*
*By the way … what in the hell are “Fixtures?†Is that the schedule? I am so far behind.
6. Quite a few votes for Newcastle United — Kevin says they’re the choice because of the great black and white jerseys, everyone else says they’re the only choice because of Newcastle beer.
7. Keith and others push for Aston Villa, in part because they are owned by Browns’ owner Randy Lerner and their fans include the members of Black Sabbath and Tom Hanks. Tough to argue with that.
8. Mike suggests Leicester City, but he suggests them with obvious reservations … I guess Leicester is brutal. He writes: “You seem like a good guy, so I cannot in good conscience suggest you pick up this team as your own.†Of course, this only makes me more tempted to pick up Leicester.
9. There are more than a few Liverpool fans, probably best represented by Andy who offered numerous reasons to choose them, including the fans singing of “You’ll Never Walk Alone†and Liverpool’s 18 League Championships. I’ll be honest: I find it hard to imagine that I can root for a team has won 18 championships. I get dizzy thinking about it.
10. Ron recommends Portsmouth, which he says just won the Premiership for the first time since ‘39 — he admits this is a bandwagon choice, but good all the same. Plus he offers to be this blog’s official local correspondent.
11. Laurence makes a compelling case for Queen’s Park Rangers, including mentioning that they have the cool QPR abbreviation, which is certainly compelling and they have not always been awful.
So there you go. There were also a couple of pitches to go with a Major League Soccer team (I have one of those in Kansas City … it’s fine but not the same), a great pitch for Australian rules football and a few people who pushed rugby. Lines are still open.
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Go with Fulham, they are as American as Apple Pie!
Go with Newcastle– choosing by beer is a legitimate criterion. Indeed, a compelling one.
Interesting stuff as always, Joe. Great to see you getting into soccer: does that mean we’ll see more posts about the beautiful game here? Anyway, a few minor things. Yes, fixtures refers to the schedule: a fixture is a match, so a fixture list is a schedule. Also, either Ron is decieving you or you misunderstood him: Portsmouth did not win the Premier League this year (my team, Manchester United, did). Portsmouth won the FA Cup, Europe’s oldest cup competition, which involves English teams from all the different levels of competition. In the final, they beat Cardiff City, a team from the Championship (the equivalent of a Triple-A team in baseball, except without being tied to a higher-level team). They’ve won other titles since 1939, including back-to-back Division I league championships (the forerunner of the Premier League) in 1949 and 1950, but 1939 was their last FA Cup triumph. Anyway, if you can’t be talked into supporting Man U, you should go for a mid-table side with some promise like Everton or Aston Villa. Sunderland is also a cool team: they play in the Stadium of Light, which is pretty awesome; they’re relatively new to the Premier League, so they’re a bit of an underdog; and they’re managed by one of the most interesting characters in the game, Roy Keane.
If you choose QPR, then you can root for one of the best nicknames in sports: Defender “One Size” Fitz Hall. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fitz_Hall
Yeah, but Simmons already dropped Spurs. His heart wasn’t in it. You could show him how to properly hop on a bandwagon. Not that, as a New Englander, he doesn’t know anything about that to begin with…
Fun things I’ve learned watching socc…….er, football:
Yep, fixtures = schedule/games
pitch = field
table = standings
boots = cleats/shoes
gaffer = manager/coach
Arsenal…The “Gunners”. So politically incorrect. But according to Wiki they have the most diverse fan base. So you can be both politically correct and incorrect at the same time. Plus they have a nice web site: http://www.arsenal.com/index.asp
a point – Portsmouth did not win the Premiership this year (that was Man U), but the FA Cup, which is a one-and-done tournament that every professional team in England is eligible for. Sort of like the Indiana high school basketball tournament used to be.
Wolverhampton Wanderers come to mind, but only because they’re in a Monty Python sketch. Nice name, though.
You could go up north to Scotland and pick either Celtic or Ranger. Of course if you pick Celtic you’re a dirty papist and if you pick Ranger you’re a dirty proddy. So it probably would take much more study then this comment. And all my info comes from one Irish guy here in Boston who spends a lot of his time drunk.
… and which Andrew mentioned in much greater detail above. Ah, bollocks.
I already made my pitch (ha-ha!) for Villa, but I have to admit Sunderland would be a really neat choice. Roy Keane is going to take them places.
And they’re right about Man U. Joe, you’re too nice a guy to be a Manure fan. You can respect them, sure… but don’t choose to love them. Most of us will never be able to forgive you.
You’ll probably want to also focus on a team that’s consistently in European competitions. Yes, it’s a little gloryhunting, but it will also serve as an introduction into the larger European soccer world as opposed to just the Premiership.
This leaves you with the current big four: Man U. (evil), Chelsea (also evil), Liverpool (owned by Tom Hicks), and Arsenal. So yeah, I’d recommend Arsenal.
Who cares about soccer? You’re in Las Vegas. As Steve Martin once said about Vegas, “Wow, look at the tits! There must be… 57 tits up there!”
Yeah, go with Arsenal. They’re fun to watch. Simple as that.
I am going to root for the Senate and People of Rome, because of their cool acronym “SPQR.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SPQR
What …No love for Everton?
Joe, this is the perfect choice for you.
First, let me disabuse you of the notion that Liverpool would be acceptable.
Liverpool is now being run into the ground by Tom Hicks. I told my father-in-law, an Evertonian by birth and the reason I have adopted them myself, that despite all the money Hicks was an idiot and it would eventually be good for EFC to have him run (ruin?) the team.
Some reasons:
Everton colors are royal blue and white.
Everton have finished in the top six of the Premiership for 3 out of the last four years, despite a payroll that is less than half of the top four clubs.
Their owner is a huge fan and their lack of payroll is directly related to the fact that he won’t sell out to the highest American, Russian, Thai, or other foreign interest.
They are a plucky, hard-working side that toils outside the limelight of the big four, have a number of good young players and a great gaffer in David Moyes.
Everton is known as ‘the people’s club’.
Aston Villa would be my vote for second, but you should really consider Everton more seriously (i.e. at least put them in the poll question!!)
Surprised not to see Chelsea on the list – except they do have that same Yankee/Red Sox pre-bought quality to them, but without the history…
Greetings from Glasgow in Scotland! Being from here, I have no choice but to recommend to you the famous Glasgow Celtic! A team created 120 years ago to help raise funds for the poor of the east end of Glasgow. Unlike another Glasgow team, Celtic has a proud tradition of taking players from all creeds and backgrounds. Celtic has only been the national league champion 42 times, unlike the glory hounds of Rangers (51 titles). Celtic regularly plays to 60,000 fans (the second highest average in the UK) and took over 100,000 fans to a European final in Seville in Spain 5 years ago. The Celtic version of “You’ll Never Walk Alone” makes the Liverpool one sound like Roseanne Barr singing your National Anthem! A team proud of its roots in Ireland, of its history of fair play, and of the eternal feeling that the football establishment is one great conspiracy to stop Celtic winning to the benefit of Rangers! Celtic Park is known as “Paradise”. Celtic has fans all round the world, from twenty yards from the stadium to the other side of the planet (and it is believed that there is a Celtic Supporters’ Club in the Crab Nebula too. And finally, for now, the team is managed by the wittiest man in sports, Gordon Strachan. When asked by a sportswriter for a quick word, he replied “Velocity!” Beat that, Ozzie Guillen! Keep up the good work Joe, and I might, if you are wanting to choose a second team to follow, I can tell you why the European Champions (almost), Albion Rovers, could be your second choice. That is for another day however.
See, Joe, I would go with a team that is on the edge of the Premier League but isn’t quite in just yet. With this logic, when you actually pick your team, it’s not like you’re going to choose someone who’s already at the upside of their talent. You’re instead going to choose someone on the up-AND-up, a team that has the talent, but just needs a few points here and there to get it done (aside — teams refer to wins in soccer as picking up 3 points; tie is 1 point. you’ll never hear a player say “I wanted that win badddd!” Rather, they’ll be like, in that deep, saturated English accent, “I wanted those 3 points!!!”) Anyway, a second argument to this point is thusly: true fans of football in England don’t care about wins; they care about their team. It’s not about the wins (3 points!), it’s about the pride and legacy that goes into the club week in and week out. True fans won’t skip a week. They’ll follow their club through and through.
Not like that dirty, dirty whooore (Danny Devito reference from It’s Always in Philadelphia) Simmons, who probably just wrote his intial story to create a ruckus outside the US.
I’d say pick someone like Watford. I hear Elton John follows them. And wasn’t he knighted by the Queen? Can’t lose there, right? Everybody loves Elton….well I don’t, but his music ain’t half bad.
Don’t kid us about wanting to wanting to adopt a soccer team — you are a writer, and you just want to be able to use terms like “mid-table side” and “friendly” and “kit.”
You seem to have many soccer-minded readers who are happy to advise you on the terminology, but how do you (or 98% of the rest of us) know if they are right?
Maybe they are just making things up. Maybe they just want to pull one over on the silly American. In fact, perhaps the readers should have a contest in which we send you made-up soccer terms and see if you use them.
Let me give this a try. “Hey, Joe, I think you should choose Chutneyworth as your side. They have always had the most buggles and their gull-knockers are never far from the wampus.”
Congrats on the 10th anniversary! Your book was an amazing bargain!
(I love having my comments spelled out to me.)
Soccer sucks. But I’d vote for Tottenham if you go with the EPL. I worked in London with two Spurs fans and they were the bomb.
Especially when I told one of them I felt he wasn’t really acting like a Tottenham fan, and he turned around with some crazy Captain Caveman look in his eye, stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, raised his eyebrows and sounded off with the most primal, gutteral snarl I’ve ever heard out of a human being.
Then he asked me if that was more what I was looking for.
Priceless.
Alternatively, go with a team that’s pronounced completely different from how it spelled. Leicester is a fun one. “Lester”.
Or “Gloster” is great too. Gloucester(shire).
Always good for some opening dialogue.
The problem with picking a non-Premier League English team like Watford or Leicester or QPR is that if you live in the US you seldom get to see them on TV, whereas FSC and Setanta cover the Premier League like a blanket. And watching your team play is, um, kind of important to the fan experience.
I pitched Arsenal, but if Joe wants someone in the Prem but outside the “big 4,” Aston Villa or Everton would also be good choices. Not sure Fulham’s going to have many Americans next year, Brian McBride’s already gone, plus relegation is a constant worry for them.
You simply must become a Spurs fan. You simply can’t root for a member of the “Big 4″ unless you live in their fan area or marry an existing fan. Choosing to root for Arsenal, Man U, Chelsea or Liverpool is like rooting for the Cowboys, Yankees and Lakers. It’s the height of bandwagonism.
No other team in the EPL can exhibit such offensive skill on one side of the pitch and yet, give up as many soft goals as Spurs. It’s like watching the Boston (red sox) Bombers of the mid 80’s or the Air Coryell Chargers. Truly one dimensional teams that played exciting ball, yet forgot that offense is only 1/2 the game.
Too late to make a push for the Olathe Rush?
Arsenal is winning, but I think you’ll need a runoff vote since it only has 24%.
I just celebrated my first anniversary last month, also with a trip to Vegas. I highly recommend stopping and grabbing a drink at a place called Strip Steak inside the Mandalay Bay. I’m usually not big on specialty cocktails but they serve some amazing stuff. Also, if you’re looking buffet, the Belagio is the first and last word on that.
Is there some way (YouTube, maybe) that we could hear Liverpool fans singing “You’ll Never Walk Alone”? I’m intrigued.
I must say I am disappointed that the issue has seemingly been limited to that island…you mentioned Man U being the equivalent of the Yankees, but thanks to the new television deal, the entire league could be labeled as such. Again, you don’t need to understand Spanish to appreciate the game in South America and the time zone is actually more convenient.
Minda’s mom, yeah, I’m sure you can find it on youtube. Or if you have Pink Floyd’s album Meddle, you can hear it at the end of the song “Fearless”!
Joe,
You know you want to see youth player development done right. Go with Arsenal, and let Arsene show you (and Dayton Moore) the way.
Glory, Glory Tottenham Hotspur!
Come on you Spurs!
I feel obliged to point out that by opening this to a public vote the whole thing essentially becomes a popularity contest. As can be seen by the top three at present – all global corporate empires with billions of pounds to spend and the relentless, loathsome hegemony that is so depressing to people who actually love the game.
Then in fourth you have QPR, who have about eight fans and play in a tin shed. There can only be one winner here, surely?
Also, despite what the locals say, Newcastle beer is vile.
My recommendation was pick a non-BIG FOUR team whose colors your like (if you want to wear the kit) and whose history seems cool.
That’s what I did when I picked a team a few years ago, which was Everton.
Beside being cool in an of itself, the nickname Hotspur is a reference to one Sir Henry Percy, also known as Henry Hotspur, the name coming as a result of his volatile personality. He took part in dethroning Richard II in favor of Henry IV, only to then turn on him. He died by taking an arrow in the mouth while lifting his visor in battle, and was subsequently dismembered, his head set upon a pike and the rest of him split and sent to the four corners of England. The dude left it all on the field … I’m thinking that’s pretty hard to beat as nicknames go.
Joe,
the best answer to this is to simply watch as many games as you can for a full season. A team will find you, and essentially “pick you”, eventually, especially as you learn about the “big 4″, and the efforts of the other teams to try to find a way to compete with them (or just survive, in half their cases) in the league. I’ve become a Blackburn fan just by watching them, though I admit Sunderland is a very interesting team under Keane. But watch enough games, and you’ll find a team that fits you personally…
If you’re really going to rely purely on a vote, you should probably avoid the Big 4 and Tottenham (who thought they could spend themselves into the Big 5). Doesn’t seem like you personally, especially after years of following Cleveland and KC…then again, if you want 1 small piece of your sports fandom to be overwhelmingly successful, go ManUre – at least until Ferguson leaves.
Joe, it was revealed today in Steve Sipple’s story in the Lincoln Journal-Star that the favorite Indian of Youngstown native and Nebraska coach is none other than Duane Kuiper.
Newcastle Brown Ale is one of the finest brews on the planet.
Joe,
I would like to second Bob Tholkes’s nomination of Wolverhampton. First of all, they actually have two nicknames (Wanderers and Wolves), which gives followers two distinct emotional states to choose from…but let’s face it, the Wanderers is simply a great name…I think of that lonely man in Michael Apted’s epic series of documentaries (7up, 21up, 28up, etc) who lives in a caravan and sits by the side of lonely roads of the Midlands and moors. 2nd, they are Robert Plant’s lifelong favorite club, and he is the ultimate Wanderer (”Ramble On”). The longer I live, the more I love Robert Plant. His newest album with Allison Kraus is simply wonderful. Is there a Rock God who has aged better than Robert Plant? uh-uh. 3rd–they are basically a team from a really small city and they will never, ever go anywhere in the standings. Wolverhampton is basically a rough n’tumble suburb of Birmingham, so it’s as if there was a MLB baseball team in Kansas City, Kansas. Or the Green Bay Packers minus Brett Favre and the Super Bowls. Finally, I’m actually travelling there for business in two weeks (I live in NYC) and I am happy to take some photos of the grounds, pitch, local pubs, Stonehenge, you name it.
Although I recommended Liverpool to Joe*, I’m somewhat surprised that nobody has recommended West Ham or Sunderland.
I mean, really, they fit the Royals/Cleveland profile almost better than anyone else who’s actually in the EPL right now.
* and all you “bandwagon” clowns can just bite me. :p I picked them as my team back before 430 channels of cable and English Division One games were few and far between and almost every time one came along it involved either Liverpool or Nottingham Forest. I had no idea Liverpool were, at the time, the freakin’ Yankees of English soccer. I just knew they were from the same place as the Beatles, and that was good enough for my young and naive self.
I voted Liverpool. I remember the first time I went to England when I was six and the Reds were great- followed them ever since. Next would be Spurs- remember when Klinsman played for them? Anyone?
I already told my pick to you Joe. (Don’t choose, it’s much much much much more fun)
But since you seem hell bent on choosing, I would say you don’t choose a Big 4 side (though I did vote for Liverpool in the poll).
I love Liverpool dearly but they are too much of a bandwagon and you just become another typical American who bandwagons onto a good team.
Liverpool do have the best fans though. In a Champions League it’s like a college or HS basketball game 90 minutes of non-stop cheering with everybody becoming hoarse at the end.
That being said of the teams that you have up for consideration I would pick Fulham. They are perfect for you because they would give you a heart attack every game and every season as they are always on the verge of being relegated. Plus they are good enough to be on TV unlike Leicester and QPR who are both second division sides.
I do however agree with whoever said a team will find you. Just start watching! It might not even be in the Premiership but in some other league. Then you can be the first American to like that league. That would be great.
Sorry for the double post but Liverpool haven’t won a title since 1989 and of the “Big 4″ are the team that has the most problems.
It’s like rooting for the pre-04 Red Sox. You get to the playoffs every year only to fail miserably and be ashamed. Only Liverpool get to win other championships because English football has about 5 of them.
I’d make the pitch for my team, Reading, but since they’ve just been relegated, I can’t really imagine that now is the time to be picking up bandwagon fans.
It all kind of depends on how invested you want to get with this. If it’s just a “it would be nice to know a little bit more about soccer and have an excuse to watch some games” then you really ought to pick a team that will regularly play in the Champions League. You’ll actually get to see them play, you’ll regularly encounter other fans of the team that you can talk with, and you’ll get to know the players very well without much effort.
If you’re set on an English team, I really can’t see picking Man U or Chelsea, for all the reasons stated above, and Liverpool to a lesser extent (though it’s hard to argue with the “that’s where the Beatles came from” argument). I think that leaves Arsenal as a pretty easy choice – they do play very attractive football and they are regularly competitive on a shoestring budget (at least comparatively).
I say this not as an Arsenal fan, just as a relative neutral offering some advice.
The one other thing I’d toss out is that there are some really strong cases for a few teams elsewhere in Europe. You’d be surprised how easy it is to keep up with the big European sides – they are truly international. And if you ever go see a live match, it’s a lot cooler to go to Rome or Barcelona then to Northern England.
If you’re looking for ways to get into the game right now, I don’t think there’s a better opportunity than the Euro 2008 tournament which is starting this weekend. MANY of the big names from those European teams will be on display. Let that help your decision. If Messi or Ronaldo absolutely astonishes you with a move or if you absolutely cannot believe the saves made by Cech, you can follow them back to their teams.
You know, everyone keeps connecting Liverpool with the Beatles, but IIRC, McCartney is an Everton man.
Joe,
Welcome to Vegas! If you need restaurant suggestions, feel free to ask, since I know you travel to eat….
Cheers,
Jeff
I went with Newcastle because of the beer. Since you know nothing about soccer (and I’m assuming next to nothing about England), why not go with something you do know? Newcastle makes some good beer. Done. Choice is made.
As an American who is now living in the UK, London specifically, I think there are a few things to consider from my personal experience. First, when I moved here it felt like rooting for the Big 4 (Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, Man U) was kind of a cop out. Sure, I’m a free agent, but with that comes some responsibility. So they were out. Second, I want to see my team on the TV occassionally, and live when possible. On TV means Premiership – and also playing in Europe via either Champions League or UEFA. Being based in London that put some constraints on which teams if I wanted to see. Finally, a great rivalry with a team in the top 4 wouldn’t be bad, right?
So with that I’ve ended up a Spurs (Tottenham) fan. They are in London, they are mid-table in the Premiership, they were in Europe this year, and qualified for UEFA next year as well. And, they are arch-rivals with Arsenal – with stadiums literally 3 miles apart. So far, so good.
Good luck with whatever team you choose – unless of course, it’s Arsenal
You cannot support Arsenal … they cry, they sulk, they make outrageous claims they are officiated unfairly, they fight with each other and they win nothing … better off supporting a small London club like Fulham or Chelsea.
Support Tottenham! I have no idea about them nor do I care to follow soccer but “Tottenham” sounds cool to say it with a fake British accent. Also, when is the blog post on which cricket team(s) I should being posted? Lots of choices as there are the international teams and then the domestic teams within each nation. There’s also the IPL and ICL which have started recently in India which are in their own category…
Didn’t Arsenal fans poison the Spurs a couple years ago? And we think Yankees-Red Sox is a rivalry.
I agree with Richard that a London club is best for the EPL.
Chelsea’s a “small” club, Richard?? Bwah-hah-hah! Maybe historically, but not since Abramovich started throwing money around like confetti and stocking up superstars to sit on his bench.
Australian Rules Football has rules?
I can never tell.
Day late here, but where is the POW team of Allies from the movie Victory? There’s the team to root for: Stallone, Pele, and captain Michael Caine.
I went through the same exercise right after Simmons did it, my best friend is English, so I figured it would give us something else to talk about(he is from Liverpool, they were not an option as you will see below). Like Simmons, I came up with some criteria:
-Good uniforms
-Prominent Americans
-Can’t be one of the money teams that are automatic for Europe (eliminates Liverpool, Chelsea, Man U & Arsenal)
-Is competitive in an Oakland A’s type of way(does more with less)
-Plays a tough style(with so many soccer players being “floppers”, I just couldn’t root for a team that I would hate to watch doing their best Ginobili impersonations)
-Couldn’t be a team likely to be relegated soon(I have the Royals for this pain)
-A team with some history of success(I didn’t want to step into the Premier League version of the Cubs)
After running all of these criteria through, there was only one team to pick… Blackburn Rovers (Brad Friedel, split panel jerseys that do not exist in US sports, thuggish reputation with a recent infusion of some offensive talent, past success, shrewd with its money, likeable manager,…). I have been very happy with my selection and can highly recommend Rovers as your choice, although I do suggest you come up with the criteria that matter most to you, get someone who really knows English soccer as your guide and let the chips fall where they may.
[...] City Star columnist extraordinairre Joe Posnanski is asking for advice on which EPL team to support. As of today he’s leaning towards Middlesbrough, but the poll is still open. So, [...]
“Day late here, but where is the POW team of Allies from the movie Victory? There’s the team to root for: Stallone, Pele, and captain Michael Caine.”
I think rooting for a team kind of implies that said team is still playing.
if you want to squeeze in an interview with Pete Rose for the book while your in Vegas….. i bet he’s sitting on the Strip charging 10 bucks for autographs.
Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool… “say it ain’t so Joe?â€. Like you Joe, I perennially ask a good friend of mine in Boulder, CO to help me pick a team to support in baseball and hockey every year. He always obliges with keen insight and then I always plum for a team who has no chance. Invariably I’m not proved wrong…so please bear that in mind when you consider my choice for you…
The English Premier League (EPL) doesn’t really exist. It’s actually an exclusive four team club that all the other clubs entertain by making up the numbers. In fact you could argue that even the once almighty Liverpool (dynasty of the 1980’s) aren’t a serious contender either. There are plenty of clubs such as Newcastle or Spurs or Villa who consider themselves to be big (and Manchester City are simply massive) but at the end of the day they have absolutely no chance of winning the league. None. Zero. No worst to first stories here.
Of course that’s because we don’t have a draft, salary cap, collective bargaining, etc. We have transfer fees that ensure disparity rather than competitiveness. Therefore, you need to drop to the league below the EPL…into the Championship. That’s where the competition lies. It’s where supporters at the start of the year all have a realistic hope of making the playoffs and entering the promised land of the EPL. Once there they can enjoy a year of being thrashed to an inch of their lives and thankfully be relegated back into the Championship.
Now QPR are a decent bet for next year. They have more money than Man Utd, so there will be efforts to buy a piece of the EPL. But I’d go elsewhere. Into the Black Country, where men are men and sheep are scared! Go to team that has a terrific history, passionate and sizeable support and if you ever get to visit the place you will not be able to understand a word they say. They are the Yam Yam’s of Wolverhampton Wanderers. You can buy a bright orange game shirt, a decent pie, sing a few songs about Stevie Bull being a tatter (a what?) and have several warm, but unintelligible conversations with the locals.
Wolverhampton Wanderers…pride of the Black Country and a US Yam Yam.
PS Before you choose Wolves I must advise you that I am a New York Jets Fan.
PPS Portsmouth won the FA Cup not the EPL this year. The last time they won the Cup was in 1939 when they won 4-1 against…you guest it – Wolverhampton Wanderers.
Actually, Pete Rose signs autographs in a memorabilia store in The Forum Shops at Caesars Palace several days a week. When I walk by that store, which I do with some frequency because it’s across the hall from Stage Deli, one of the few places in town where I can find a good corned beef sandwich, it seems pretty sad…
There is only one team in the Premiership to support and that is Fulham. If you support the ‘big four’ a) you are deemed to be jumping on the bandwagon/a glory hunter and b) they can only fail.
Tottenham always believe they are going to achieve more than then do, as do Newcastle, and so fail in their expectations every year.
Supporting Fulham is like a rollercoaster. You never know what you will get but the highs are worth it. On top of that it is the oldest ground in the Premiership and a lovely walk through Bishops Park along the river to get to the ground. Watching the game, you do actually watch the players instead of a screen (which happens at the bigger clubs as you are so far away the players look about 1in tall). The fans are really friendly and you still get the old match day experience. Fulham may not have won the Premiership but they won the best fans league and best chant of the season. Plus Fulham have more US players than any other team.
All in all, there is only one team to support in the Premiership. So get practicing – Come On You Whitessssssss (COYW’ssssssssss)
Correction – It is the oldest London club in the Premiership.
Come On You Spurs!!!! You gotta pick Tottenham, they have the most vocal fanbase, greatest stadium atmosphere, and are on the verge of cracking into the “Big Four” of the premier league.
Hi Joe,
In support of your Manchester City idea, you might read this very fine book called “Manchester United Ruined My Life,” by Colin Shindler.
http://www.amazon.com/Manchester-United-Ruined-My-Life/dp/0747259836/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1212996547&sr=8-1
There is some cricket stuff in there that had me pretty lost (they say it’s like baseball, but other than the fact that one guy has a piece of wood in his hand and another guy is throwing a ball at him, I don’t see a lot of similarities). But even in the parts that I didn’t understand, you can sense that this is a guy who loves his sports and has suffered. It is a fine book for everyone whose identity has been partly defined by suffering with their favorite teams. [Disclaimer: yes, I am a red sox fan... and I know we are no longer allowed to claim suffering status. But I was six when Bucky hit that ball (you can do the math to Buckner, Boone etc)... And I would offer that being always the second best is actually more painful that being dead last every year, as anyone who has ever taken home a "second place" trophy can attest. Is there a more painful and hollow feeling?
And btw, it was a low blow the other day to list the Sox IN FRONT of the Yankees on the list of teams whose supporters are like Man U supporters. For years, in trying to help Americans understand what Man U means, I have simply said, "They are the Yankees of English soccer [sic].” I know it is the chic thing these days to bash sox fans and call us the new Yankees fans. And yes, those of us who have been around for a while are indeed going through something of an identity crisis. But… but… come on Joe. we are still not the Yankees! Just cause we have a streak of a few good years thanks to competent management [and one of the top salaries in the league]… anyway, way off topic here.]
For what it’s worth, I support West Ham, for no better reason than that my closest English friend supports them. But I am not really qualified to make a proper pitch for the team. So I will stick with my recommendation to read the Shindler book.
Keep up the good work!
Mike
I went through a selection process just last week. I wanted a team to call my own and narrowed the field to 4 teams.
Everton (Saw them win the first EPL game I wastched. Great history, Paul McCartney is a fan.)
Portsmouth (Close to my families roots in England)
Arsenal (Cool name, good team)
Aston Villa (Cool name, cool colors)
After much deliberation, I selected Everton.
But the others are ones I’ll likely pull for also.
Everton has lots of KC/USMNT connections. Starting US Keeper, Tim Howard is in the nets for the forseeable future. Kansas City Wizards icon Preki played there. Brian McBride was there for a short stint.
As a journalist, you could also get lots of first hand Everton info (and maybe tickets) easily in KC.
FA Cup Final hero Paul Rideout has lived and coached in Kansas City for years. A must see for any true Everton fan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nh9lbsfpFY0&feature=related
He is now the KC Wizards U-16, U-17, and U-18 coach.
Everton. Toffees have been in the top division more years than any other club–124 out of 130 years. They were a founding member of The Football League, and remain right there in the Prem, although technically the Premiership split with the Football League in 1992 (all that “revenue sharing” rubbish left the owners of the top clubs down to one helicopter). If you have a spot in your heart for the hard working kid whose arrogant, vain, spoiled older brother gets all the attention, this Merseyside club is for you. Liverpool is a great town with great people, in fact Everton is “The People’s Club”. You said you couldn’t root for the Redsh-, so maybe you should amble over to the other side of Stanley Park to the open arms of the Goodison faithful. Plus the Merseyside Derby is the best derby in England anyway.
Correction: I said “older brother”. Everton actually is older than the Club I Do Not Speak Of.