Uhmm… A screwdriver?

Good job Joe. I hate putting things together. I always do something wrong, but never figure out that I did it wrong until I’ve proceeded beyond the Point Of Recovery. Such as our one bookcase that has a shelf upside-down. Which I didn’t realize until I’d already hammered the back onto the bookcase with 17,986,342 nails.

I especially love instructions that tell you to take that weird looking “thing”, of which you have absolutely NO IDEA what it is, what it does, or how it does what you don’t understand what it does, and then “insert Flux Converter Scotty-1 into hole B so that screw F3 can pivot in an inverted counter-clockwise Garridan Motion to fasten Divot Z34 from Shelf T11a^3.”

And you’re like, “wait… Hole B?”

Urgh. My wife and I want to buy a Bowflex. It looks like a fabulous machine to work out on. It also comes in TWELVE BOXES. And the instructions make a lot of suspicious references to the International Space Station…
She keeps wanting to buy it. And I keep telling her that if we do, I will have no chance of ever putting the damn thing together, so we’d buy a group of twelve boxes for our 1000 bucks.

After hours of fooling with it, I call in the pros. My neighbor Steve who fixed Hueys for the Nebraska Air National Guard.

Two hours later and we have made no progress. Brakes are never right, but child loses interest in scooters thank god. What a waste of time and money and pride! They went out of fashion for a reason, but you can’t convince a wife of something like that.

Said daughter will turn 18 next week and is deciding on colleges. My next trick as a father will be to figure out how to pay for this last child’s education without working until I’m 75.

Joe, congratulations. The hard work is just beginning.

My 15 month old boy is not quite ready for a kitchen of his own, though he sits and stirs a plastic bowl with a big plastic spoon with a very curious look on his face anytime I’m in there cooking. So who knows?

Thanks for a great look at Dads, Joe.

Joe, that is a kitchen worthy of envy. Good work.

As for my dad… When I was six, I asked for a play house. He promised he would build it… that was fifteen years ago. Now he better build me a real one!