Stupid LIttle Stuff That Makes Life Better

Posted: January 25th, 2008 | Filed under: Pop Culture | 88 Comments »

Drove the 550 or so miles from Cincinnati to Kansas City on Thursday, and I remembered something: I like long car rides. I like scanning radio stations and listening to pop songs I’ve never heard by artists* I probably should know but don’t. I like the way trucks flash their brake lights when you let them into your lane. I like listening to the POTUS ‘08 channel on XM (President of the United States, if you’re scoring at home) and getting crucial news such as word that Sylvester Stallone has endorsed John McCain**. I like convoluted and bewildering vanity plates (ILFTB4U? What’s the hell is that? ”I Left Before You? That’s the point? Maybe it’s ”I Laugh At Tampa Bay For You?” ”I Lift Bees For You?”)

*Can anyone explain to me why pop musicians are called ”artists?” When did this start, anyway? I’m not questioning the validity of the art — obviously some of it is art, some of it crap, but who among us is wise enough to tell the difference? No, my question is, why ”artist?” Why aren’t they called ”Pop Poets?” Or ”Pop Maestros.” I mean, when I was growing up, in those simpler American times, artists PAINTED things. Just asking.

** OK, it seems clear now that once Sylvester Stallone (not to mention Johnny Damon) starts endorsing candidates, it’s important for everybody to endorse a candidate. I was going to endorse Dennis Kucinich since he posts here, and he’s a Cleveland homeboy, but I also learned on POTUS ‘08 that he is pulling out. Plus, Viggo Mortensen already endorsed the guy. Then I was going to endorse Fred Thompson because of his outstanding performance as ”Big John” in ”Days of Thunder — you know until I realized that I was confusing that performance with the late great J.T. Walsh’s performance as ”Big Bob” in ”Pleasantville.” Plus, he’s out of the race, I think, assuming he was ever in the race. So basically this blog’s endorsement is still very much up for grabs, and it all depends on which candidates agree to be interviewed here to discuss their opinion about the designated hitter and hottest TV Parents/Spouses

One more thing: I know I have shared my Sylvester Stallone story, but it’s always worth telling again. You might know that a couple of years ago, Stallone had his own magazine called Sly. Apparently there was another magazine called Sly, which didn’t appreciate Stallone calling his magazine Sly, and there was a whole big fight about it. That wasn’t my fight.

The editor of Sly Magazine called and asked if I would be willing to write for Sly. The editor, a very good guy, told me that Sly (in this case, he meant Stallone) wanted me to write for Sly (the Magazine) and that Sly (Stallone) really put a lot of his own energy into Sly (the Magazine). After a while it became very confusing, figuring out which Sly he was talking about, and if ”Everyday People” had been playing anywhere nearby, the phone might have exploded.

In any case, it seems that Sly (Stallone) wanted me to write about all these records getting broken in sports — you know, home run record, touchdown record, etc. — and how unfair it all was to the old dead people who held the records. Sly (Stallone, I think) was firmly against broken records. Athletes today, Sly felt, have too many advantages — and here, Sly was not talking only about steroids. He was talking about better equipment and trainers and a clearer understanding of diet and better shoes and better fields and more involved training methods and technologically advanced machines, etc. Not fair. Jesse Owens had to run on cinders.

After a while, it seemed clear that Sly (Stallone) really wanted me to write a column recasting the lessons of Rocky IV where Drago was taking drugs and using the most technologically advanced machines of the time while Rocky was just choppin’ wood while Paulie drove him nuts. Rocky still won, see? ”If I can change … you can change … everybody can change.” So true.

So I wrote the column — hey, Sly paid well — sent it in, the editor liked it, I felt pretty good, and then two days later I get a call from the editor who says, ”Um, Sly didn’t like your column.” I said, ”The Magazine?” He said, ”Uh, no, Stallone. Well, it’s not right to say he didn’t like it … he just didn’t think it was strong enough. He didn’t think it was tough enough. He would like for it to be tougher.”

I said: ”Tougher? How do you mean? Should I put more exclamation points in there? More swear words?

The editor said: ”Yeah.”

So, I did. Sent it in. Apparently Sly liked this one or at least didn’t bleeping hate it, and it ran, and I got my check (or as I like to think of it — profits from the movie ”Oscar” ) and all that was cool. And then I thought, ”You know, this would make a funny column, writing about how Sly thinks I need to get tougher.” I mean, seriously, toughness lessons from Rambo. You couldn’t beat that brush with greatness. So I call to set it up, and everybody there at Sly (the Magazine) thinks that will be a lot of fun. Everybody, it turns out, except Sly (Stallone).

I get a call back from the editor who says that Sly doesn’t want to do the interview. I say, “Oh, OK,” and ask why, and he says he can’t tell me. Later, after Sly Magazine blows up, I get the full story. Apparently the editor mentioned the column idea said Sly (Stallone) yelled, ”Oh no, he just wants to get back at me.”

And the editor said: ”No, I think he really just wants to make fun of himself; I think he …”

And Sly said (more or less): ”No, I know guys like this. I tested his manhood, and he can’t take it. I challenged his guts, and I backed him down, and now he wants to get me, he wants to try and take me down, but I’m not going to let that happen. I’m not going to give him that chance.”

And that, friends, is how Sylvester Stallone turned me into Clubber Lang.

OK, whoa, where were we. Oh yeah, I was talking about stupid little stuff that, for me, makes life better. I came up with a few — I’ll add a few more later:

– I like it when football announcers welcome you to a game, especially when you get switched from a different game. ”We’d like to welcome those of you who were watching the Bills-Jets game. Here in Cincinnati, the Bengals are clinging to a 27-23 lead …” I mean, I just think that’s really nice. They welcome you, they catch you up on what you missed, that just makes me feel at home. So nice.

Conversely, though, I hate — HATE — when announcers start listing off the crew at the end of games — ”Executive producer for today’s game was Don Ohlemeyer. Coordinating producer …” I’m not saying these people don’t deserve to be mentioned — they do. This is more personal. This hatred goes back to when I was a child, back when the single worst sound in the world was that time ticking sound at the beginning of ”60 Minutes.” Remember that? Man, that sound was much scarier than doors creaking in horror movies. That ticking sound meant the Sunday football was over, that the weekend was over, that Monday morning was closing in like a freight train. Well, if the 60 Minutes ticking was the worst sound, the second-worst was the announcer listing off who produced and directed the game, because that meant the game was about over, which meant 60 Minutes was coming (except on the West Coast where it will be seen at its normal time), which meant that a whole, long, dreary week of school was about to begin. I want coordinating producers to get their due. But I’ve never been able to get over this.

– I like it when waitresses call me ”Sugar” or ”Honey” or ”Love” or any other name like that. I know some people are turned off by that, but I just think it’s pretty cool. When I was in Augusta, I used to go to this fast food Chinese place in the mall — it wasn’t China Wok; it had some uniquely Augusta name like ”China Green Jacket” or something — and the woman there would pile on the food and always call me by some new term of endearment. One day it was ”Sweetie Pie” the next day it was ”Sugar Blossom” the next day it was ”Huggy Bear.” Sorry, I just like that.

– I like the way fast food Chinese restaurants — the good ones — will just PILE on the food. This is decidedly untrue at the China Wok at O’Hare Airport, where the China Wokkettes tend to be quite miserly with the Orange Chicken. But most places you ask for a two-item combo, and they will give a nine-pound plate of food.

– I like when people you expect to believe one thing believe exactly the opposite. The ideology doesn’t matter as much to me as the ability to go against type. I like very liberal Democrats who are also members of the NRA. I like arch-conservative Republicans who march against the war. I like Red Sox fans who like Derek Jeter (assuming there are some) or Larry Bird fans who concede Magic was better*** or gigantic Beatles fans who will admit that at least some of their songs sucked. I just like it when people can mix it up a little bit.

I will never forget watching television during the crazy presidential election aftermath of 2000; I was just DYING for someone to say something unexpected. Every Republican said one thing. Every Democrat said the other thing. It was so tedious, so tiresome, so predictable.

And then, this one day, I’m watching, and there’s a Republican congressman (I knew this by the R they had below his name) and he was saying the most amazing thing. He was saying (more or less), ”You know, I don’t think this should be a Republican or Democratic Issue. This is an American issue. The core of our Republic, the very core of it, is our Democratic process. We have the closest election in American history, an election that has come down to a few hundred votes in Florida. We need to put aside all of our differences and find the will of the people. If that means counting every single vote by hand, then that’s what we must do. This is not about George Bush or Al Gore or who you want, or I want, or the media wants, or the courts want. This is about who the American people want.”

I sat there open mouthed and happy. Here was a Republican breaking away, speaking from the heart, putting aside his own rooting interests, suggesting a hand-count just because he felt it was was right. I thought, ”There you go. That’s America at its best.”

Then the screen changed, and the ”R” changed to a ”D” — apparently CNN had mislabeled this shmoehead — and I no longer felt quite as proud.

*** This reminds me of one of my favorite arguments ever. Two friends were arguing about Larry Bird and Wilt Chamberlain. It does not make any difference, but just so you can picture this more clearly — the white friend was arguing for Chamberlain, the black friend for Bird. So we’re going a little against type here. The Chamberlain guy was winning pretty decisively talking about how Chamberlain averaged 50 points a game one season (he played every minute of every game), and how he was so dominant people were calling him the greatest player BEFORE HE PLAYED HIS FIRST COLLEGE GAME.

Then he made a fatal blunder. He overreached and said that Chamberlain was the better ”all-around” player. And you know how sometimes in a debate, you hear something and you go, ”Oh oh, this won’t end well.” The Larry Bird guy sort of carried him for a couple of rounds — he kept asking, ”So let me get this straight? You’re saying that Wilt Chamberlain was the better all around player? Am I hearing that right? You’re saying that he was the better all-around player — he was a a better all-around basketball player right, better at the all-around skills you need to be a great ballplayer?” The Chamberlain guy may have known the bomb was coming, but he was in too deep, and he kept saying, ”Yeah, I’m saying it, better all-around player.”

And then the Bird guy finally said: ”OK, so let me get this straight. You’re holding a clinic for kids about basketball. And you want to teach them how to play the game. You can bring Wilt Chamberlain or Larry Bird. You’re telling me that you think Chamberlain could teach them more about ball-handling? Passing? Outside shooting? FREE THROW SHOOTING?”

Yeah, free-throw shooting was the knockout punch. The Chamberlain guy, meekly said, ”Well, Chamberlain was a better rebounder,” then more or less crawled into his hole of defeat. It was his own fault. He had the argument won, then overreached. It’s like the ”Jim Rice Doesn’t Belong In the Hall of Fame” argument — I think Rice was a terrific player, but I don’t think he was quite good enough to get my hall of Fame vote for reasons explained countless times. When you start saying he sucked, you open yourself up to a good right cross.

– I like when a drink fountain has both Diet Coke AND Diet Pepsi, so I can boldly go by the Pepsi — point at it, mock it — and then happily fill up my cup with Diet Coke. It’s almost like I’m taking a poll. Coke = John Daly. Pepsi = Dan Marino.

– I like sitting in theaters after the movie ends and just watching the credits. It’s peaceful. I like to take a few moments after a movie or book to soak it in (I recently finished Paul Auster’s ”Travels in the Scriptorium,” and I’m still entirely baffled). Conversely, I hate when, the moment the movie ends, someone on the next row shouts out to his/her friend, “SO, WHAT DID YOU THINK? DID YOU KNOW HE WAS THE MURDERER??”

88 Comments on “Stupid LIttle Stuff That Makes Life Better”

  1. 1: Creston said at 5:28 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    “Why aren’t they called ”Pop Poets?” Or ”Pop Maestros.””

    Because then Prince would have had to call himself TPPFKAP or TPMFKAP for awhile and that just doesn’t sound right…

  2. 2: Creston said at 5:36 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    Coke >>>>>>> Pepsi. Anyone who likes Pepsi thinks Jim Rice should be in the Hall of Fame, and is simply wrong.

  3. 3: Paul White said at 5:44 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    In honor of Kevin O’

    You’re a dirthead. Not only is your Diet Pepsi story silly, it’s probably exaggerated. I’ve drank Diet Pepsi a bunch of times and it’s never been anything but cool and refreshing. My guess is that you were so busy chugging Diet Coke that you didn’t even notice that Diet Pepsi was was spending more advertising dollars at the Super Bowl that. Do you really expect us to believe Diet Pepsi cares whether you drink it or not? When it comes to dissing Diet Pepsi, move along, douchey!

  4. 4: Peter said at 5:44 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I love when I listen to a game on the radio (especially hockey) and the announcers tell you what the teams are wearing. Or baseball games and they tell you where the fielders are shaded. I grew up listening to Bob Murphy calling Mets games and he was one of the best. A lost art form in my opinion.

  5. 5: Ryan said at 5:47 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    Diet Pepsi is the 2008 New England Patriots of soft drinks. There’s no competition. And by soft drinks I mean “pop.” (KC, y’all.)

    Conversely, Joe, I like hunters and outdoors people who wouldn’t go near the NRA with a 10 foot pole, but that’s a personal preference.

    And I think this is one of my favorite posts of yours ever. Get ready for a ton of comments.

  6. 6: Mac said at 5:49 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I think that “artists” for pop musicians comes from the industry, which calls them artists in terms like A&R (“Artists and Repertoire”).

  7. 7: Karbiel said at 5:56 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    “I like the way fast food Chinese restaurants — the good ones — will just PILE on the food.”

    I’ve gone so far as to position myself in line so that I get the server who’s giving out the most orange chicken. And when they don’t PILE on the nine pounds, I always feel slighted, and then ashamed when I realize that seven pounds of food in one sitting is not good enough for me.

  8. 8: Guelphdad said at 5:58 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I agree with the pile it on the plate sentiment. We used to have a lady in the cafeteria at work and she’d load the stuff on. The replacement must think the extra comes out of their own pocket or something.

  9. 9: Mike said at 6:02 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    Don’t you DARE insult the China Wok at O’Hare (we’re talking the one around gate G or H, right?)

    Bill James has a great quote about small sample size. He basically said that if you go out with a girl and she’s kind of smelly (bad smelly, not good smelly), what do you do? Most likely, you don’t call her again. But that’s just a sample size of one! He said his job with the Sox was in part to make sure that the girl got a few more chances to establish whether or not she truly have BO.

    Anyways, my point is this: I’ve been to O’Hare twice. The first time, I randomly stumbled upon the Wok and was pleased. The second time, I walked about a half-marathon to get back to said Wok, and was once again pleased. I remember the second time, I ate so much (orange chicken and rice only) that I actually had a stomach ache.

    In any case… give China Wok one more try. They’re 0 for 1, but they could still be a .900 hitter that you just happened to see strike out once.

  10. 10: Brian said at 6:03 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I LOL’d at the Pepsi/Coke thing. Seriously, I laughed and it was out loud. I’m not just saying LOL for the heck of it. I literally LOL’d.

    - By the way, I hate when people use LOL haphazardly. Sure that IM that I sent you may have been mildly amusing, but I doubt you did anything more than smile. So that just makes you a liar.

    - I hate that Ivan Rodriguez goes by the nickname “Pudge”. That was Carlton Fisk’s nickname and Fisk came first. That would be like Eddie Vedder in 1992 or something demanding that people start calling him Bono.

    - I like the taste of chewable vitamins.

    - I prefer the orange tootsie rolls to the chocolate one’s. I’m amazed that the chocolate one’s get all the pub.

    - I like Friday jean day at work, if only to see which guy will be this week’s “acid-washed” guy and which guy will be the “black jeans that are too tight and make you look like Mick Jagger” guy.

    - I like it when the garbage man takes all of my garbage, especially when there’s a lot of it out there. It always makes me feel like I got away with something, and it also gives me a fresh start to a new week.

    - I like that “Occam’s Razor” was named after William Ockham. I wonder if he has a complex theory as to why it’s spelled that way.

  11. 11: Charles said at 6:22 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    “– I like when a drink fountain has both Diet Coke AND Diet Pepsi, so I can boldly go by the Pepsi — point at it, mock it — and then happily fill up my cup with Diet Coke. It’s almost like I’m taking a poll. Coke = John Daly. Pepsi = Dan Marino.”

    Quoted for truth.

  12. 12: Jake said at 6:40 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    Just chiming in to say that I agree with pretty much everything you’ve said: I LOVE my XM radio, and listen to Potus ‘08 all the time!

    And Brian’s pretty funny too. How’d that “Pudge” thing ever get started, anyway? I doubt I-Rod made it up…

  13. 13: Stoney said at 7:09 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    Joe, the comment about the 60-minutes ticking is dead on!! I can remember be at my grandparent’s house on Sundays when I was a kid, playing football, watching football, eating ice cream, drinking pops, then that damn ticking would come on the TV and it was like the clock striking midnight on Cinderella. Another weekend was over and it was game on for school. Hated it.

  14. 14: smperk said at 7:38 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I’m a total procrastinator, and that 60 minutes ticking meant “this is your last chance” to finish what was due on Monday.

    Seriously, that ticking ended all of my previous weekend’s fun.

    Great post Joe.

    One thing that make me happy:

    I always celebrate Dec. 22nd. I know it’s the 2nd shortest “day” of the year. However, I celebrate because it reminds/prepares me of the upcoming spring/summer when the sun never seems to set, and the streetlights come on later and I can play basketball or tennis or see a baseball game until the very end of the night. See, even today I’m noticing that the sun is staying up a little bit more as I leave work.

  15. 15: Matt in Toledo said at 7:54 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I love when you roll through your regular routine of blogs and websites, don’t come across a new post or anything of interest and are just about to leave the computer to go do something that actually is productive. Then you think, “Well maybe I’ll check out [insert site or blog of choice] one more time” only to find out a new post actually has come up since you last checked and it’s something of interest.

    A close second to this is thinking you’ve gone through all your usual sites only to realize there’s a perfectly good site that isn’t on your history bar for some reason and once you visit it, it has a great new post up.

    At work, the latter happens with this site. At home, it happens more often with King Kaufman’s site.

    Google Reader kind of robs me of both of these little joys.

  16. 16: Royalfan said at 8:05 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I love it when your total at Quik Trip is $14.02 and the clerk lets you slide on the 2 cents. This actually happens quite often. Rather than give you 98 cents in change or make you dig around for two pennies,
    they say “close enough”, and you’re on your way. No other store does this.

  17. 17: Steven said at 8:22 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I love when I wake up that one day in the spring and something seems a little bit different…the sun is brighter, the birds are louder, the air is warmer, then I get home from class and turn on ESPN and remember that it’s Opening Day.

    I love reading JoePo posts that go off in completely random tangents, usually indicated by “*” and eventually “***”.

  18. 18: Oddibe Kerfeld said at 8:24 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I see that our old friend Rep. Kucinich is quitting his presidential campaign and focusing on saving his house seat. I wonder if his posting on this site will hurt his reelection chances?

    From Politics1.com today

    KUCINICH: Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D) — during an interview Thursday with the Cleveland Plain-Dealer — abruptly said he will formally withdraw from the White House race on Friday. Kucinich scored in the low single-digits in the early contests. The real reason for his quick exit: Kucinich suddenly finds himself facing a very tough March 4 primary battle for renomination. Kucinich’s four primary challengers — including Cleveland City Councilman Joe Cimperman and North Olmstead Mayor Tom O’Grady — say Kucinich has neglected his district’s needs due to his national ambitions. “Right now I’m under attack by corporate interests, most of them from the city of Cleveland, who have an agenda that has nothing to do with the people of my community, nor with most people in this country,” wrote a defensive Kucinich this week in an email to supporters.

  19. 19: Mikey said at 8:25 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    A good friend of mine (no the “friend” isn’t me) used to have a serious gambling problem and was a heavy drinker. Oh, and he also did a lot of blow. So on Sundays he would bet huge on multiple games and then just sit in front of the TV and get wasted, and when the 60 Minutes ticking would start he would go into a panic because the day’s games were over and he knew he had lost however much money and couldn’t bet again until the Monday night game.

    The guy has since cleaned himself up in every possible way, but to this day he says he still flashes back to his old life EVERY time the 60 Minutes watch starts ticking after the late games.

    Great blog, by the way. My future posts will not be so dark.

  20. 20: joseflanders said at 8:29 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I’ve been reading the blog for a few weeks now, and Joe, you’re my new hero. I’ve never been so interested in tangent ramblings in my life.

    One of my most favorite things in the whole world is hearing my 2-year old daughter make a “Whoo Whoo” sound whenever she sees a train.

    I also love hearing Pat Hughes describe what each team is wearing before the Cubs games on WGN, and also how he so gently tends to Ronnie’s senility. He could just as easily toss him out of the booth and put him out of his (our) misery.

  21. 21: Chris C said at 8:35 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I’m jumping all over Brian’s nickname comment. I hate it when “new” athletes get “old” athlete nicknames. To me, Roger Clemens is not the Rocket, Maurice Richard is the Rocket. What I love is when old nicknames are tweaked to better suit the player, like “the Pocket Rocket” or the “Vest Pocket Rocket.”

    I love it when you pull up behind somebody at a red light and you notice their signal light is blinking at the EXACT same frequency as your own.

    I love it when Americans make fun of Canadians on TV or in their (“your?”) movies.

    I love looking at my digital watch just as the time changes from 11:59:59 to 12:00:00.

    I love hearing a song come on the radio that I have on a CD in the car; it’s so much more exciting to hear that someone else wants to hear that song, and now EVERYONE ELSE has to listen too!

    I love watching a sports doubleheader on TV and seeing the hosts from the beginning of the first game say goodnight at the end of the second game. That has to be one long day.

    I hate sideline/intermission reporters, the ones who attack players or coaches with inane questions the instant the last play is over. I know it’s a tough job and probably not very rewarding, but I think we should be spared from more empty coach/player “110%’s” and “play our system” and “come out hard in the second quarter/half/period.”

    I love checking out Joe’s blog, finding it updated AGAIN, and already packed with funny and insightful comments.

  22. 22: Byron said at 8:49 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    As a die hard Red Sox fan, I will say that I am amazed at Derek Jeter’s persistence and would happily take him on my team any day.

    It’s odd that when the era of the big four shortstops (Rodriguez, Garciaparra, Tejada and Jeter … hell, you could throw Vizquel in there too) dawned, Jeter always looked like he’d be at the back of the pack. In other words, he was a terrific player but the others looked so much better.

    But here it is 10-12 years later and Jeter is still playing SS for the same team that he began with and has more rings and while his offensive numbers pale in comparison to ARod, they’re much better than Tejada, Garciaparra and Vizquel.

  23. 23: Joe K. said at 9:23 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    Just wanted to point our one thing. When you’re talking about “our Republic,” as in our system of government, it should really be written with a small “r,” as in, “our republic.” The same holds true for our “democratic process.” You only capitalize when you’re talking about the political parties; big-r Republicans still believe in our small-d Democratic process, while big-d Democrats still believe in our small-r republican principles. Sorry if that’s nitpicky, but if you mix the two it implies that Democrats want a pure democracy, and Republicans want a pure republic, neither of which is at all true.

  24. 24: Chipmaker said at 9:30 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I love that the Alaska league team in Bearflanks plays the Midnight Sun game every summer, just to prove they can do it.

    I love that I can write “Bearflanks” and everyone knows it’s really “Fairbanks”.

    I love that Sonic, for it’s many (rather common) nutritional failings, is the only quick-serve place I know that offers diet sodas other than cola, including my all-time favorite, diet cherry limeade.

    I love that some ballplayers can be referred to by their proper first name or diminutive — not a nickname like Yogi or Babe — and every fan knows who it is. Rickey. Reggie. Ted. Stan. There’s not many of them.

  25. 25: Brian said at 9:33 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    - I like fast-forwarding my DVR when I’m a few minutes behind live television and making it all the way through the commercial break before the DVR catches up.
    - On the flip side, I hate when my DVR catches up to live TV when commercials are still playing. That’s reason enough to pause it and fake a trip to the bathroom.
    - I like refreshing my inbox and seeing a new email from a friend and the title says “hi” or something rather than “FW:”
    - I like the way my backyard looks after I mow it.
    - I like finding out that a musician has a lame real name. Like Robert Van Winkle. Or Gordon Sumner. Or Stanley Burrell.
    - I like when the concession girl at the movie theater puts the butter on my popcorn for me rather than making me do it myself. If I do it, it’s only going to be buttered on top and that’s no good.
    - I like when my co-worker Dan shows up wearing a Cosby sweater. And I love that he has a sense of humor about it.
    - I like turning on SportsCenter at the exact moment that my favorite team is being highlighted.
    - I like watching the replay of baseball games that I went to the night before.
    - I like when McDonald’s gives me 2 packets of BBQ sauce for my 10 McNuggets. Now I can use it for the fries too.
    -And finally, and I’m embarrassed to say this, but I like that old song from Mr. Big. “Hold on little girl….” You know the one.

  26. 26: Kyle Davidson said at 9:46 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    Loving all the responses.

    Had this happen the other day. I was driving to my Grandparents house when I casually looked at the odometer. It just happened to say “111111″. How awesome is that? I never look at it, but for some reason, that day at that moment, I did.

  27. 27: Grant said at 9:54 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I, too, like savoring the end of a book. If the ending was happy, I bask in happiness. If the ending was unhappy or sad, I feel depressed. If the book was Hemingway, I pour myself a drink.

  28. 28: bulb said at 10:14 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    Brian English spelling wasn’t regularized until well into the 18th century. William of Ockham (a small village in Surrey) has mutliple spellings of his name, anything that could plausibly be pronounced “okem”, the I(nternational)P(honetic)A(lphabet) spelling. Another examples: there are six signatures attributed to Wlliam Shakespeare and each is distinct orthographically: Shackper, Shakspear, Shakspea, Shackspere, Shakspere, and Shakespear. Ironically the last (from page 3 of his will) closest to the modern spelling is often questioned as being by another hand. I knew that PhD would come in handy, just not on the JoeBlog!

    The real question: “How is Worcestershire prounounced ‘woostersher’”? I’m with George Bernard Shaw on that point.

    On the sporting front, how about MSU’s Jarvis Varnado?!!?

  29. 29: John McCann said at 10:34 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    Usually I prefer Pepsi, but Coke goes better with Chinese food. No idea why.

    Of course the top of the list of things I like is when I wake up thinking I overslept, but then realize it’s a weekend or holiday.

  30. 30: Minda said at 10:35 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    With regards to comment #16 (about Quik Trip):
    Yes, yes, yes! This is because people don’t work at QT; angels do.

    And re: #26, One day last year, I went to take my key out of the ignition and saw the odometer resting happily at 1,000,000. It’s like the car wanted me to notice the milestone.

    This post and all the comments are making me very happy. I find little joys in lots of things, like the way a pair of Nike shoes feels extra cushiony if I’ve been wearing heels all day, or the way the grass in the outfield (no matter where you are) looks like such a perfect, inimitably bright green on Opening Day. It makes my day when restaurants actually serve Dr Pepper instead of that awful faker, Mr. Pibb. I love opening a paycheck and finding that it’s much bigger than I anticipated. And when anyone in my family e-mails or calls just to say hi.

  31. 31: DWS said at 10:44 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    Of course, you could have quoted Tom T. Hall:

    “I love little baby ducks, old pick-up trucks, slow-moving trains, and rain
    I love little country streams, sleep without dreams, sunday school in may,
    And hay
    And i love you too

    “I love leaves in the wind, pictures of my friends, birds in the world, and squirrels
    I love coffee in a cup, little fuzzy pups, bourbon in a glass, and grass and i love you too

    “I love honest open smiles, kisses from a child, tomatoes on the vine, and onions
    I love winners when they cry, losers when they try, music when it’s good, and life
    And i love you too.”

    – Anyways, I like reading a Joe Posnanski blog.

  32. 32: Adam Poling said at 10:50 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I love the first time I hear the Baseball tonight theme after the long off-season.

    Listening to Gus Johnson call a basketball game.

    Coke is definitely better than Pepsi. Although I’m weird in that my favorite coke is the regular caffeine free.

    I always think it strange that people don’t understand why you would read a book more than once. If it was good the first time, won’t you enjoy it anytime you read it after that?

  33. 33: Aaron said at 10:56 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    Diet anything is for fat ladies that drink boatloads of it. And there are 3 other reasons why I won’t touch the stuff.

    #1. There’s some evidence to suggest that your body doesn’t break the fake sugar down the way it should leading to more fat than you would get from a normal soda.

    #2. Aspartame causes cancer in big enough quantities. I can hear the response now, “but you have to eat a mountain of it!” I say, why even take the chance?

    #3. The weird aspartame aftertaste. You could do a blind taste test with me, I guarantee you I could pick out whatever you put aspartame in. It tastes like horse crap.

    Drink the hard stuff or don’t drink at all! PANSIES!

  34. 34: 941827 said at 11:08 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    The polar opposite of football announcers welcoming you to the game is what the late, great Celtics announcer Johnny Most used to say several times a game:

    “And for those of you just joining us . . . where ya been?”

  35. 35: Jason said at 11:23 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    “When I was in Augusta, I used to go to this fast food Chinese place in the mall — it wasn’t China Wok; it had some uniquely Augusta name like ”China Green Jacket” or something”

    I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this restaurant — which I cannot even recall existing — is no longer in the mall. The only two Chinese places are the generic Master Wok and China Express. China Express, however, DOES have friendly staff and DOES pile on the food.

    (Disclaimer: this only applies to Augusta Mall. If you meant one in Regency … why in God’s name were you even there in first place?)

  36. 36: John R said at 11:44 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    I usually stay deep into the credits at a movie. This probably comes from my mother who always wants to know where it was filmed (that comes right before the copyright info). I have to tolerate the people who will sit through 2+ hours only to reach for their coats and jump to their feet the minute they sense that the camera is about to pan up to the sky. If it’s a comedy that has credit cookies they’ll inevitably stop in their tracks and stand right in front of me gawking.

  37. 37: Mikey said at 11:49 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    Baseball-related stupid little stuff:

    I love being in an empty stadium, hours before a game or hours after, or on an off day. I find it incredibly soothing. I actually find it more peaceful than being in nature. I’ve sometimes tried to figure out why it has the effect on me that it has and I’ve never really come up with a good reason.

    I love Wiffle Ball. Love to throw it, love to hit it. I will turn 36 years old soon and I would still play Wiffle Ball every single day of my life if I could.

    I love the rush of people to the beer stands just before they cutoff beer sales. All those happy drunks trying to squeeze in one more. You know who you are.

    I love the “baseball equinox”, which is the day during the winter on which we are closer to the next Opening Day than to the last out of the last World Series. This year it was January 14th.

    I love falling asleep on the couch listening to Vin Scully call a west coast game on MLB Extra Innings.

  38. 38: Mikey said at 11:56 pm on January 25th, 2008:

    “Rickey. Reggie. Ted. Stan. There’s not many of them.”

    That’s a good game.

    Mariano, Manny, Barry, Jackie.

    Ichiro, but that feels like cheating.

  39. 39: Perry said at 12:19 am on January 26th, 2008:

    I’ll never forget when I went to see Wonder Boys (great movie), and the nimrods all around me jumped up and left as the credits began. Why did it bother me at that film in particular? Because Bob Dylan wrote the song that was playing over the credits (“Things Have Changed”) specially for the movie! People were walking out on a brand new (and terrific) Bob Dylan song!! Arrgggghhhh!! Good thing I didn’t have a gun.

  40. 40: Perry said at 12:23 am on January 26th, 2008:

    Mikey, the first name I thought of when I saw “Barry” was “Larkin.”

    I like Bill James’ comment on Steve Carlton, that when you refer to a pitcher as Lefty and everybody in both leagues knows who you mean, that guy’s pretty good.

  41. 41: Terence Reilly said at 12:35 am on January 26th, 2008:

    I love the moment the lights go out at a concert to start the show

    I love the sound of a ball hitting off the Green Monster

    I love the Amazing Race theme

    I love taking a few sips from my fountain drink and then refilling what I just drank – I’m a bad ass

    I love to think how much better it would have been if Darth Vader let Luke die in Return Of The Jedi

    I love Chick-Fil-A nuggets. Simply the best.

    I love when people flash their headlights to let me know a cop is waiting

    I love opening the hotel drapes upon check in and finding a great view

    I love a clear night when the signal for 1080 AM in Hartford is strong enough to hear Joe Castiglione call a Red Sox game

    I love hearing my daughter laugh in the other room at something they’ve heard, seen or read.

  42. 42: Noel said at 1:16 am on January 26th, 2008:

    Joe, good stuff!

    Re: The 60 Minutes “Tick-tick-tick”, I used to hate that too. In fact when I read your description about it, I irrationally freaked out and thought “I have to go to school tomorrow!”. And yes, I’m 34 years old.

    Regarding the announcers naming the crew at end of games I hate this for 2 reasons. First, it’s the end of the game. Secondly, as a Cubs fan, they’d always do this on WGN when someone like Mel Rojas or Mitch Williams was “closing” and it always seemed to serve as a jinx. Inevitably the other team will tie the game or take the lead right after Arne Harris’ name was mentioned.

    Looking back, it’s amazing how many people seem to have seen Rocky IV. How many “4th” movies are that popular? I can always drop a reference to Rocky chopping wood in the mountains and 99% of the time people get that reference. Haven’t tried that with “Superman IV” Or 3, for that matter.

    Diet Coke > Diet Pepsi

    I like getting 2 fortunes in a fortune cookie.

    I like the sound of children laughing.

    I like restaurants where the menus have #s assigned to dishes. I love saying “I’ll have the #6″.

    Finally, when I figure out all the words in “Jumble”, I’m king of the freaking world!

  43. 43: Will said at 1:33 am on January 26th, 2008:

    I am now going to start mocking the Diet Pepsi as I fill my cup with Diet Coke.

  44. 44: AaronB said at 1:40 am on January 26th, 2008:

    Sly Stallone is a punk. He tried to get in the ring with a legit heavyweight (Earnie Shavers) for Rocky III but couldn’t take a weak punch to the gut and eventually got Mr. T to play his antagonist, which was probably the better financial decision on Stallone’s part.

    http://espn.go.com/page2/s/wiley/011212.html

  45. 45: antoniomo said at 2:02 am on January 26th, 2008:

    I like adding the phrase “in bed” to any fortune out of a Chinese cookie. Try it.

  46. 46: Andrew H said at 2:07 am on January 26th, 2008:

    I love the ‘pocket rocket’ reference but I wonder if Chris remembers who that was? Gee, I know….it was Colorado WR/KR Mike Pritchard. This was in the hey day of Raghib ‘Rocket’ Ismail at Notre Dame. There was a guy with a GREAT nickname and someone that probably is pretty much forgotten about if you didn’t live thru his years in South Bend.

  47. 47: Mark H said at 2:43 am on January 26th, 2008:

    Chineese food at O’Hare?? When I was flying in on a regular basis, I developed a liking to the Chineese stand at the rest plaza on the toll road just outside O’Hare (I think the name of the plaza was even “O’Hare”) There were even seats directly over-haed of the highway. How cool is it to stuff orange chicken while watching traffic pass underneath you??

  48. 48: Tony B said at 3:52 am on January 26th, 2008:

    I love it when my dad starts his countdown to Spring Training the day after the Series ends.

    I love it when a guy gets his first hit of his career and the cameras catch the umps calling for the ball to give to his dugout.

    I love it when in a conversation you throw out a quote from some random movie and someone else in the office feeds you the next line and both of you run with it for the next 15 minutes.

  49. 49: Tim H said at 5:01 am on January 26th, 2008:

    This is my first post. I’ve been reading Joe in the KC Star since he started there. I was at K-State then at KU and followed those teams through the Star. Since then I’ve moved to California, back to Kansas, and now to Oklahoma. I still read the Star Online, mostly so I can follow my teams–and to read Joe’s column, which I always read last. I only recently found this blog and have enjoyed it immensely.

    Like the song says: These are a few of my favorite things…

    Playing a round of golf and coming away with more balls than you started with. “Shooting Par” for me means finding as many balls as I lose, and positive numbers are the good ones.

    Hearing or reading a rare or new word (like “perspicacity”) and then being amazed at how often you read or hear it again in the next few days. This always freaks me out, but it’s cool.

    Thinking you’re late to the airport, but then walking right through check-in and security and making to the gate just when they call for boarding.

    Hearing my boys (ages 6 and 8), when they’re downstairs watching TV, bust out laughing at something funny that just happened on the show. It’s such pure joy, not caring who hears. I wish I could do that more.

    Deciding not to stop for gas yet, because you think you can make it to the next little town, and you think that they’ll have a gas station, and you think it’ll be open on Sunday afternoon. And then your gas gage drops like a stone and you’re not so sure but it’s too far to turn back. And then you make it to the town and they do have a gas station and it is open.

  50. 50: AS said at 5:28 am on January 26th, 2008:

    This post reminded me of the Seinfeld episode at the Puerto Rican Day parade.

    ELAINE: I’m going to miss 60 Minutes. You know, I hate to miss 60 Minutes. It’s part of my Sunday weekend wind-down.

    JERRY: I don’t know how you can unwind with that clock ticking. It makes me anxious.

  51. 51: MonkeyHawk said at 5:52 am on January 26th, 2008:

    I love it when my ex- e-mails me every year to remind me of the the four most beautiful words in the English language: “Pitchers and catchers report.”

    We’re divorced now, but it was civil. We’re not in touch all that much, but still like each other. And I was the one who converted her to the Church of Baseball.

    We took off work and had great tix for the day game that had Saberhagen starting against Nolan Ryan. I’m sure that game’s gotten better in my memory, but the first 9 innings were like watching Picasso paint. Actually, like watching two Picassos paint. And then it went into extra innings. Bret and Nolan were through for the day but, golly, the extra innings were sensational.

    Both teams got a lead-off batter on third base with no outs during the extras. Texas took the lead in an extra and the Roylz tied it up and the game went 16 innings before the Blue Boys won it.

    For years, before she became a convert, she’d rag about the day I took her to a baseball game “that lasted four days!” “And he wouldn’t leave!”

    For all the differences that developed in our relationship, the thing I love is how she still regrets not getting it during that 16-inning game until years later. She’s a *baseball* fan now, even more than a big league fan; she’s a regular at the T-Bones. (For all I know, she’s the T-Bones’ Susan Sarandon these days, but I married the “Atlantic City” Sarandon not the “Bull Durham” one. But I take credit for introducing her to the latter.)

    I think Kevin Costner is a bad actor, but I like him as a baseball player. Not so much “Field of Dreams,” (my problem is with the script), but “Bull Durham” and “The Upside of Anger” are perfect ballplayer roles and Costner’s good at it. (I think our marriage got in trouble when she insisted on buying a copy of “Dances With Wolves” and I caught her several times watching only the scene with Kevin Costner’s naked butt. But we split up and still like each other. And every February 20-somethingth she reminds me of the four most beautiful words in the English language.

    I also love the Polish sausage and kraut at Roylz Stadium.

    I wish they’d called it “Kauffman Park” instead of “Kauffman Stadium.”

    I love the restaurant in Dallas that Denny Matthews recommended. Xavier’s, near Highland Park. “It’s not Mexican food, it’s Mexico City cuisine.” And damned if he isn’t right. Have one of their flaming coffee drinks for dessert and designate a driver.

    It’s a shame the Roylz don’t go to Milwaukee anymore. They stayed at that old hotel with the old-fashioned lobby which doubled as the after-game bar. Just a bunch of young guys drinkin’ and braggin’ and telling lies. It felt like a Damon Runyon book talking about ballplayers on the road.

    I was at George Brett’s last game, at that pathetic minor league stadium in Arlington, Texas. George WMD Bush’s “Ballpark at Arlington” was rising on the other side of the parking lot.

    George, not all that convinced about Xavier’s I guess, hosted a team dinner the night before at a tacky little cinder-block Mexican restaurant a half a mile away from the ball park and he said he’d play another four or five years if it weren’t for all the travel.

    I just happened onto an opportunity to live on the fringes of a fraternity most people never experience. I had a side-gig that exposed me to ballplayers, and it was magic.

    I got to walk on the field at Fenway Park. I remain amazed at just how close every fan was to the game in Tiger Stadium. The Kingdome was like playing sock ball with your brother in the basement rumpus room. Anaheim Stadium seems like it’s under a dome; the weather’s alway perfect.

    Around Passover in Los Angeles, you get to buy Coca-Cola with cane sugar instead of high-fructose corn syrup. The cane sugar Coke is better.

    I never figured Diet-Anything was worth bothering with. I think it was the Dr Pepper commercials that claim “Diet Dr Pepper tastes more like regular Dr Pepper” …. than *WHAT?!* They never tell you what they’re comparing Diet Dr Pepper with.

    “It tastes more like regular Dr Pepper…” than cat piss?! Okay, I’ll buy that. Mr Pibb, not so much. Albeit, I haven’t done the specific taste test.

    I wonder whatever happened to Sam of “Sam’s Parking” at Municipal Stadium. His empire pretty much died when Kauffman Park became the home of Kansas City baseball. I don’t know if “Sam” owned the parking lots, but he got $5 a car in his prime.

    And old Comisky Park was a boon for the neigborhood. There was some law Mayor Daley passed that limited the price you had to pay at private lots (which were people’s front yards). The best parking places were people’s front lawns where they said, “Yeah, it’s $3, unless you want ‘insurance.’” And you paid the extra two bucks just to be sure someone didn’t attack a window with a tire iron.

    The only way to get the true Yankee Stadium experience is to take the subway to a night game in the middle of the week. Three graduate credits in sociology before you arrive at the the park.

    It’s not a post-season crowd, it’s people who show up at Yankee games simply beacause they’re the home team. Sit next to a life-long Yankee fan and tell ‘em you’re a Roylz fan and you’ve found a friend forever; except they hate you.

    I love the name *Boog” Powell, but his barbecue is pretty lame. There’s a reason why Camdon Yards is a great ballpark; it’s a Disney ride with all its possibilities. Someday someone will put out a window in that buidling past right field and the old guy will come out shaking his fist and all the players will run to the dugout. Like Dennis the Menace and Mr. Wilson. Someday.

    In the parking lot of County Stadium a guy told me the secret recipe for the sauce they put on brautwerst. It’s bizare and sounds digusting but it *is* the secret sauce:

    Exactly equal amounts of Welch’s Grape Jelly and French’s yellow mustard.

    It tastes sorta barbecue-y but it isn’t. And with a grilled-over-charcoal braut, it fools ya. Grape jelly and mustard; go figure.

    The sushi at the Big A is actually pretty good, but seems like a sin against baseball. The steak sandwich at the new Phillies’ park is authentic, but a sin against food. They use real Cheez-Whiz (now with 20% more whiz!).

    You can eat poutine at SkyDome, but you’ll feel your arteries clog with every swallow.

    Dodger Dogs are over-rated; Fenway Franks, not so much. I’m not sure why, since both are tube-shaped hog lips.

    I don’t care if the Baseball Equinox was January 14th. I’m jonesin’ for the game.

    It’s the only game that matters, really.

  52. 52: Brian said at 6:23 am on January 26th, 2008:

    “Rickey. Reggie. Ted. Stan. There’s not many of them.”

    “Mariano, Manny, Barry, Jackie.”

    Pedro!

  53. 53: Josh said at 6:27 am on January 26th, 2008:

    All of the talk of diet pepsi vs. diet coke got me thinking about the Simpsons episode where they go to NYC to get Homer’s car which has a boot on it at the WTC (man this episode was a while ago now and loses some humor sense then because of that)…

    But anyway he eats a bunch of soem kind of food I cannot pronouce and needs something to drink… He is offered Mountain Dew and Crab Juice…. he says “Ewwwww….. give me a crab jucie”….

  54. 54: Jeff P. said at 6:36 am on January 26th, 2008:

    I like it when a waitress brings me a refill on a drink before I finish the one I’m drinking. (Sorry Joe but I’m a pepsi guy)

    I like it that my wife thinks the Red Sox broke the curse and won the WS in 2004 just because thats the only WS she has ever watched.

    I like it when I get a forward from my parents stating that the govt is going to start charging people for sending email. (They have sent this to me maybe a dozen times). I do worry that they will fall for some email scam like Michael Scott did; “when the son of the deposed king of Nigeria asks for your help then you help him.”

    And I really like it when I got to Joe’s blog and there is a new entry.

  55. 55: Cooper said at 6:57 am on January 26th, 2008:

    monkey trouble-your post made me miss my ex-wife…come to think of it, we always got along pretty well during baseball season.

    that’s probably worth 2 or 3 therapy sessions- trying to figure out why. maybe every relationship is better during baseball season.

    i miss her when i get up in the middle of the night to go to the restroom…she’d always say something funny even though we were both 99% asleep.

    something that always makes me smile is when i throw a good pass to my best friend while playing basketball…we both have this grin even while the play is in process.

  56. 56: Minda's Mom said at 4:11 pm on January 26th, 2008:

    Dr Pepper made with Imperial pure cane sugar is awesome beyond belief. As far as I know, the only way to get it is to special order it.

  57. 57: Justyo said at 5:07 pm on January 26th, 2008:

    The sound of my son’s voice as it makes the giant leap from he-wo to hello. The Hawaii Five-O theme. Clear mountain nights when the stars creep down to the tops of the trees. Late august in New England when summer turns to fall. Yaz holding a runner to a single on a shot off the Monster. Any 15+ pitch at-bat… Slow saturday mornings, reading Joaldo’s blog and all the cool responses…

  58. 58: Mike Bagnall said at 5:35 pm on January 26th, 2008:

    I’ve heard that Wilt was one of history’s greatest foul shooters–in practice. It was only during games that he couldn’t make them. I’d still bet on Bunny Leavitt in a head-to-head though.

  59. 59: Mike Bagnall said at 6:08 pm on January 26th, 2008:

    I can’t stand it. I have to say it. The Pocket Rocket was Henri Richard. I’m sure everybody else knew that, too.

  60. 60: Andrew said at 6:40 pm on January 26th, 2008:

    I like knowing what fountain drink to get at every restaurant. It’s seldom the same.

    Chipotle: Coke
    McDonald’s: Coke or Cherry Coke
    Burger King: Dr. Pepper (their Coke isn’t good)
    Jimmy John’s: Coke
    Wendy’s: Mr. Pibb (Coke is weak)
    Subway: Mello Yello or Minute Maid (Coke blah)
    Taco Bell: Mt. Dew Code Red (stay away from original Dew, and never ever ever get fountain Pepsi. That’s the Devil’s nectar.)

  61. 61: Jeff Erickson said at 6:43 pm on January 26th, 2008:

    Coke > Pepsi, definitely, but:

    Diet Dr. Depper >>>>>>> Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi, and it’s not even close.

  62. 62: Josh said at 7:06 pm on January 26th, 2008:

    I may be alone in this, but I think Cherry Coke Zero is superior to any other diet/calorie free soda…

  63. 63: Chris C said at 7:40 pm on January 26th, 2008:

    Thanks Bagnall. I knew hockey’s Bill Russell would be recognized, but I cannot for the life of me remember who the Vest Pocket Rocket was. Either their brother or cousin, but I can’t remember the name. I’ll add this to the list: I hate it when my mind only retains fragments of information absorbed from my childhood reading, but not enough to make a meaningful contribution to Joe’s comment section.

    “Rocket” Ismail! Of course! Former Toronto Argonaut signed by the Gretzky, John Candy and Bruce McNall ownership group. Truly a coup for a Canadian Football League team to sign a Heisman runner-up, usually they wait a few years for them to flunk out of the NFL or be suspended for a Bohemian lifestyle.

    There’s a CHERRY Coke Zero???

  64. 64: Keith K. said at 8:37 pm on January 26th, 2008:

    Keeping it baseball-related, I like small moments like . . .

    1. Finding out through an overheard comment that the guy in the row in front of you is a real fan and not just there for the beer. Like, “why don’t we have a lefty getting warm for this next guy? You can then lean forward and give a knowing response, and you have a running buddy for the rest of the game.

    2. Umpires’ subtle hand signals that you may or may not even notice, like pointing at the plate after a run scores or a quick tip of the bill in an infield fly situation.

    3. The moment after a “no-doubter” home run when the pitcher is giving a flash of the glove to his catcher for a new ball even before the homer has even cleared the wall.

    4. A hitter who idly adjusts his gloves or reties his shoes to buy time for his pitcher to catch his breath after somehow legging out an extra-base hit.

    Baseball has hundreds of moments like these.

  65. 65: Jeff P. said at 11:53 pm on January 26th, 2008:

    Cherry Coke Zero is really good.

  66. 66: Josh in DC said at 12:21 am on January 27th, 2008:

    I like getting everyone around me to clap in unison at a baseball game. I have a loud enough clap that it’s possible.

    But I can’t believe that anyone, anywhere, in any walk of life enjoys Diet Pepsi.

  67. 67: Minda said at 1:03 am on January 27th, 2008:

    More little things (I could do this for hours):

    -A freshly re-organized closet
    -Seeing a little tiny kid dance to the radio in a store
    -Friendly bank tellers
    -Meeting new people and finding out they are baseball fans
    -The first day I don’t have to wear my heavy coat
    -The rhythm of batting practice
    -Families that go to Little League games together
    -Seeing strangers do nice things for each other (give up a parking space, let someone go ahead in the grocery line, etc.)
    -People who sing/dance when they walk down the street

    I’ll stop now, but my whole life is made up of these little moments. It’s joyous.
    (P.S. in comment #30, I actually meant one hundred thousand, not one million. Yay for overzealousness in the typing of zeros.)

  68. 68: Kyle Davidson said at 2:32 am on January 27th, 2008:

    Minda – lol. I actually thought “holy cow, 1,000,000 miles! What kind of car was that?

  69. 69: Minda said at 2:37 am on January 27th, 2008:

    Kyle, it’s been scientifically proven that I am an idiot. They should not allow people like me to have Internet access.

  70. 70: JIM said at 4:36 am on January 27th, 2008:

    I LIKE IT WHEN I AM SHOPPING AND THEY HAVE SEVERAL OF THE SAME ITEM (ie LAUNDRY SOAP FOR INSTANCE) THAT IS THE LAST ONE THAT IS OFFERING 33% MORE FREE.

    I LIKE CATCHING AN EPISODE OF SIMPSONS THAT I HAVEN’T SEEN FOR A LONG TIME.

  71. 71: Hewins said at 6:20 am on January 27th, 2008:

    Your discussion of 60 minutes made me want to throw up.

  72. 72: awpierce said at 7:51 am on January 27th, 2008:

    I never understood an announcer telling you that a team is moving from his (the announcer’s) left to right. Nevertheless, I like it b/c growing up I always heard the Arkansas Razorbacks basketball voice always say it.

  73. 73: Ryan said at 9:25 am on January 27th, 2008:

    I can’t believe anyone is that determined to pass around the clap.

    Diet Pepsi rules!

  74. 74: Andrew said at 4:34 pm on January 27th, 2008:

    Long time lurker, first time commenter. I love being able to stay in touch with my favorite sport while living in London (cricket is no substitute my friends!). Being a part of the baseball community from 5000 miles away is an amazing experience. Even 5 years ago would have been a much different experience.
    One benefit – I love waking up in my morning and getting a full day of sports news and blog posts to catch up on.

  75. 75: John said at 6:30 pm on January 27th, 2008:

    I love Sprite.

    Not Coke. Not Pepsi. Not 7-Up. Not Sierra Mist.

    Sprite

    I also love it when you just know something is going to happen, so you say “so-and-so is going to win the game right here with a home run,” and when he does everyone around looks at you like you are some kind of genius.

    I also love watching PGA Tour players play golf. It’s amazing how far they hit the ball.

    And I love going to bed at night after my favorite team was won its game. It means I’m going to wake up in a good mood and nothing will spoil my morning.

  76. 76: Mauichuck said at 9:09 pm on January 27th, 2008:

    “Rickey. Reggie. Ted. Stan. There’s not many of them.”

    “Mariano, Manny, Barry, Jackie.”

    Pedro! Ahh – no, I always think of Guererro although I know all of you BoSox fans think of Marinez.

    Hello – Mickey anybody?

    And Rocky and Albert.

  77. 77: Mike said at 9:49 pm on January 27th, 2008:

    I like my dad’s sense of humor. Especially as it relates to sports.

    In the mid 90’s when Pedro Martinez was starting to get good.
    My dad complained that the Reds kept getting tips on the wrong Martinez. They signed Dave, Carmello, and maybe others(I like that I can actually look this up on Baseball-reference.com but am sad to find out that Dave only played in 92 and Pedro wasn’t good yet.)

    I like that this memory still is vivid in my head more than a decade later.

  78. 78: Andy said at 2:57 am on January 28th, 2008:

    Diet Coke? forgetaboutit! Diet Coke=Heart Burn, seriously.

    The 60 Minutes “Tick, tick, tick”, never bothered me, but the M.A.S.H. theme song depressed me. I could never watch that show just because I couldn’t get past the opening.

  79. 79: Jeff P. said at 3:30 am on January 28th, 2008:

    I loved MASH, its one of the best sitcoms ever.

  80. 80: Adam said at 7:51 am on January 28th, 2008:

    Re: The Bird/Chamberlain debate

    I think Chamberlain was certainly a better player, and I think there’s actually a decent argument to be made for him as a better all-around player. The free throw shooting and outside shooting aspect hurts, but I think he more than makes up for that with his post game, rebounding, and defensive skill. The passing might actually be closer than people would think too. My favorite “holy shit was Wilt Chamberlain good” story is the year where he decided, just for the hell of it, that he wanted to lead the league in assists, and then went out and did it easily. The man was amazing. No one, not even Jordan, dominated the game of basketball like him. He might as well have been playing a different sport.

  81. 81: Mike Bagnall said at 5:30 pm on January 28th, 2008:

    When I was growing up in Northern Maine, the Celtics used to play a preseason barnstorming series through New England. I watched them play against the Warriors, who had Paul Arizin and Neil Johnston as their featured players. Bill Russell was a rookie for the Celtics. Johnston had led the league in scoring (twice, I think) with his big sweeping hook shot, but Russell jammed it right back in his face every time he tried to shoot it. I think Johnston retired at the end of that season–probably because of Russell. Bunny Leavitt was a foul shooting marvel who travelled with the teams to entertain at halftime. A short, dumpy middle-aged guy, his act was to have someone feed him basketballs while he took 100 foul shots. I don’t remember how many he made when I watched him, but his press hype said his average was over 95%. He’d throw each ball up with NO spin, very softly and each one would bounce on the rim several times. He hardly ever swished a shot. I wondered if the balls he was using had the right amount of air in them, but it looked like they did.

  82. 82: Tim said at 6:25 pm on January 28th, 2008:

    You don’t hear this much anymore but I like it when you’re listening to a football game on radio and the announcers tell you which direction a team is going.
    “The Tigers get the ball on the 20-yard line going left to right on your radio dial.”

    Just doesn’t happen anymore. I think most guys doing radio these days are really TV guys and just don’t think about how much can be described for a radio audience.

  83. 83: Max said at 10:19 pm on January 28th, 2008:

    I love reading Joe Posnanski’s blog…and I love this one so much I have trouble keeping the smile off my face. Thanks for all the comments too. :)

  84. 84: Hambone said at 10:23 pm on January 28th, 2008:

    Re: the Stallone story:

    I live in Seattle, and was working out at a gym that Stallone worked out at during the time he was filming “Assassins” (or something– it also starred Antonio Banderas). It was something to watch: He carried around a barbell, got up close to the mirror, did a curl or two, then held the curl and carefully traced the line (or “cut”) formed by his bulging muscle.

    After one or two reps, he would set down the weight and, still close to the mirror, practice his golf swing, empty-handed, pausing at the top of his swing so he could carefully trace the line (or “cut”) formed by his bulging muscle.

    Then he would just walk slowly around the gym, looking at everything, clearly better than any of it, before returning to the mirror to repeat the routine.

    This went on for almost a half-hour, and he probably did 20 curls the entire time. I spent an extra chunk of time on whatever machine I was on, amazed at the workout regimen that produced such a specimen.

  85. 85: Gary said at 2:08 am on January 29th, 2008:

    What was most annoying about the Sunday night game was Madden and Summerall, when the latter would say, “After the game, stay tuned for 60 Minutes, IN ITS ENTIRETY.”

    Diet Pepsi is a million times better than Diet Coke (which tastes like poison).

    I like tuning into Jay Leno knowing that no matter what kind of craziness is going on in the world, we can all sit back and laugh at it.

  86. 86: kent said at 4:19 pm on January 29th, 2008:

    Don’t drink “diet” anything! Enjoy a real Coke (or Pepsi, or whatever you like) every once in a while. Water is pretty damn good if you give it a chance. Unless you are at Skyline in Cincinnati…then you definitely need a Mountain Dew.

    Great blog. Great post. Great comments. Thanks Joe, and keep em coming.

  87. 87: baclightning said at 1:20 am on February 13th, 2008:

    The Beatles were the greatest band in the history of rock.

    “Wild Honey Pie”, “Mr. Moonlight”, “Boys”, and “You Know My Name (Look Up the Number)” sucked. Really sucked…

  88. 88: p90x said at 10:35 am on October 8th, 2008:

    p90x…

    Before you start hunting for a gym or a fitness training center that offers 24 hour fitness personal training program, you should first consult your doctor about the kind of exercise that you should engage in, especially if you have some pre- existing …

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